Kristyn Wakes up at 6 a.m. ... every day

Now that is a scary blog post title for those who know me. I am NOT a morning person. I'm lucky enough to work in the city where I live, so I can get away with sleeping until 7:15.. 8... 8:15.. most days. With a variable bedtime of 10-11:30, this is supposed to guarantee me my 9 hours of sleep, and I wake up in a MUCH better mood than after 6 or 7 hours of sleep. I am not chatty in the morning, I "wake up" sometime around 10 a.m. (calls before 10 a.m. are the WORST..), have been known to say really strange things in emails and texts before that time, and become increasingly chipper as the day goes on.

So why THE F*CK would I decide to become someone who wakes up at 6 a.m. every day? Well, friends, the answer is: exercise.

I have been finding it so hard to fit in fitness, which in some past iterations of my life was successfully typically done between 7 - 8:30 every night, at least 2-3x/week. However, doing that means a mad rush to make and eat dinner, walk the dog, exercise, shower and spend some time with Jeff - making the evenings a flurry of activity and not leaving a lot of time for downtime, hobbies and especially not for social plans. I've definitely noticed a shift that many plans have headed to weeknights these days - not 100% sure the reason, maybe more people using the weekends to recharge after a workweek since we are so damn old ;) or maybe more people dedicating weekends to time spent with kids/immediate families. So I was trying to stuff my social stuff into Wednesday nights and work out the other nights of the week, but add in my variable work schedule with frequent evening meetings and events, and I just wasn't MOVING MY BODY. Unacceptable! (for ME. exercise is a big part of my life. but also really hard to motivate yourself to do when you're busy and tired - and busy and tired is how I'd define 2018).

See you again in 4 months, outdoor cycling... :*(

So while I was away in Galapagos, with "vacation brain", that expanded brain that allows you to plan life as a better you when you come home, I started thinking about exercise. I knew I wanted to focus on activities that won't hurt me (i.e. no running, limited elliptical, and actually no yoga due to a downward dog induced wrist injury from a bout of yoga this fall - ugh) - thinking about super low impact swimming, and indoor cycling. I also know I owe my physiotherapist about 15 mins a day (ha!) of exercises for my various ailments (tennis elbow, wonky foot, weak core causing back issues) which I NEVER DO, so I thought a physio/strength session would be good too. And I'm also thinking about 2020 (who isn't...judge away, I'm so Type A) when we move into the condo and in the small space, Jeff is going to wake me up every morning at 6:15 when he gets up for work. Currently he gets ready and showers in another part of our upstairs, but I'm not going to banish him to the less nice shower (we're getting a really nice big tiled glass shower in the ensuite.. shower goals realized! :)), and I'm not going to move into the guest room permanently (besides, I'd hear him in the kitchen anyways! ;)). So in that scenario I'll likely need to do something in morning (unless I want to get to work across the street at 6:45 a.m... I don't).. so could I work out? The seed was planted.

Hanging out with Galapagos wildlife gave my brain the space and time it needed to hatch plans!

I've done morning workouts before. I've felt really crummy after some. I've felt decently good after others. Mixed bag. I get SUPER hungry after I work out, and SUPER sleepy when the workout is demanding.. neither of these are feelings I enjoy riding through the day, so it's been nice to mainly feel them late at night and then sleep them off.

BUT

I've been struggling with early waking insomnia for a couple of years now. If I wake up after 5 a.m. I often don't get back to sleep AT ALL. So crappy! Exercise makes me sleep better AND if I'm so used to getting up in the 5s and 6s, why don't I at least do something with it instead of lying in bed, frustrated?

With my vacation-brain plan hatched, I came home, ready to set it in motion. And of course struggled with awful stomach issues following my trip for the first week.. but THEN.. THEN it was the second week home. And I committed to three morning workouts a week - Mon, Tues, Thurs, for the next 5 weeks until Christmas. And if I can do this, I can take $200 and spend it on a new pair of lulus and a nice workout top. If I don't do it, $200 goes to debt repayment (so lame!!! but god, so much debt right now between Tesla and condo down payment lol - so in a way I win either way, but I win WAY BETTER if I get the nice workout tights - for the record I only go into lululemon and touch things, never allowing myself to buy - but I love their gear! the pieces I own are gifts and hand me downs from Dawn - thanks D! :)).

Just add hips..

I practiced on the first Sunday morning with physio/strength in the basement (future life: in condo gym, or second bedroom aka my space - Jeff gets the den). It went well. I was hungry! I went to the gym the following day and rode the bike for 30 mins, averaging about 24 km/hr (decently faster than I go outside - I credit good workout music instead of the sound of my own panting :)). I went to the pool on Tuesday morning and swam my triathlon distance of 750km in about 22 mins. Thursday I repeated physio/strength in the basement. And Week 1 was over before I knew it. NOW I'm most of the way through Week 3 and can't believe how easy it's actually been. I've also increased my bike and swim speed to the point where I have to add distance to keep the time the same.. cool! And I've already upped my weights by 2 lbs (upper body) and added weight to bodyweight workouts like lunges and squats, and 30 seconds to my planks. Amazing how fast you can make gains (especially when starting back at GROUND ZERO).

Ok so the energy boost was great. I actually haven't noticed it as much the past 2 weeks but I sang and danced all the way to work (and at work a little) that first Monday. I am effing tired. Like, falling asleep on the couch at 9:30 p.m. every night and if I'm not  in bed by 10 I'm a wreck the next day (exhibit: today). My evenings are suddenly oases of time in which I can do things that actually interest me, and I have been just jamming them up with social plans, so excited not to need to juggle them against workouts anymore. Travelling out of town? All good - since I rarely leave before 7 a.m. anyways, there's always time to work out and I'm guaranteed a good hair day from styling it after my shower! Probably the best perk is that I never have to have those conversations with myself during the day: when will you work out? Will you work out? Will it be better to put it off to tomorrow? I just do it - and it's done. I wouldn't say I feel energetic in the morning, but once I'm on the bike, I'm riding and I find the energy. Once I'm the pool I'm swimming and I find the energy. I laid out a physio/strength workout for myself that isn't negotiable. So I just follow it. And once the planks are done, I actually enjoy the rest of it.

Why this seems to be working (from my view in the honeymoon phase):
- I never said it had to be forever, it's just 5 weeks. Like an addict, all new habits should be thought of one day at a time
- it has a reward attached to it and I'm pretty strict with myself when I make rules! I even have a contingency that if I get sick I can walk for 30 mins on the treadmill so I don't lose progress - it's cold and flu season after all and I want those pants!
- I pack my gym bag on Sunday and Monday nights so it's ready to go and one less thing to do/dread in the a.m.
- showering and doing my hair in the morning feels great, actually. 10 p.m. blow drying was a bummer
- early waking insomnia has disappeared (or has it? I just now get up in the 6s, no matter what, so who knows!) and all I had to sacrifice was an extra hour at the end of the evening to get to bed on time (and look what that sacrifice gets me - consistent exercise.. yes!)

I'm pretty hungry. It's faded a bit, but my body is definitely trying to replace the calories I burn first thing by eating everything in sight. So I haven't lost any weight and I don't look or feel different.. except.. EXCEPT.. I noticed some muscle definition returning to my arms and legs.. but didn't look too closely because I didn't want to jinx it.

So there. Kristyn wakes up at 6 a.m. every day. Today is my day off so I decided to work on another cast-aside habit - writing. Except I'm SUPER TIRED AND SUPER GRUMPY because I stayed up too late watching the Leafs.. when will I learn! Never. We've won 5 in a row and life as a Leafs fan is goo-ood right now!



So glad to have you back, buddy

So, I guess my recommendation would be - if you're having the same problem as me trying to find time to squeeze in fitness after work, and think you can spare an hour at the end of your evening to sleep, then wake up 1 hour earlier than you usually do and work out. You might just see the return of the long lost bicep after only 3 short weeks... And if you can stave off the rampant hunger, it might help you reach a weight loss goal, if that's your thing.

I don't know who wrote this blog post, but it's nice to meet her. I do recognize her because it's 7:30 a.m. and she's super angry about being awake/alive. Maybe I should go to the gym to feel better? HA!

Movin' on Down.. Part 2

Having answered many questions about our decision to downsize to a condo in my last post, this post is about what we're really excited about, and some facts about our future digs.



I love an artist's rendering! I do like how every phase is a little different. Phase III (us) is the shorty on the left side of the screen

Excitement List

1. Instead of another decade plus of mortgage payments and big utility bills here, our monthly costs are reduced to just condo fees and electricity (property taxes a constant, though no idea what they'll be in the new place - hopefully less than the crazy $5k a year we pay in the barren east end)

2. Instead of having three cars to pay insurance on and fill with gas, I can walk to work (800m door to door!!) so we can go down to one car. Downtown Guelph has 2 rental car locations, our building will have a carshare, and .. Uber. So Jeff will take our one car to work every day and I'll … figure it out. This one has been flipping between the pros and cons column because I've had a car since I was SEVENTEEN! But I've only ever lived in the suburbs or had a hefty commute somewhere, so I'm guessing downtown will present a bit more of a walkable, bikeable life. I definitely need a basket and pannier bags for my mountain bike...

3. With only 1,050 square feet to clean and no driveway, backyard or exterior features (like the siding that detaches itself during every wind storm and needs to be beaten back into place with a broom while standing on the top rung of a ladder) to maintain, significant time and money will be freed up for doing things we actually want to do. And the stress when you hear that inevitable bang of siding, falling tree branch, grind of the owned water softener, howl of the wind when you will your shingles to stay put - will be alleviated!

4. Our environmental footprint will be reduced, living in a smaller space and reducing our heating/cooling/electricity needs.

5. Location, location, location! We'll be less than a ten minute walk to my favourite walking and biking trail in Guelph along the Eramosa River which stretches infinitely in each direction. Yay! Restaurants, sports, theatre, shopping, market - suddenly all walkable. The east end has a walkable library and convenience store. End.

6. Back to #1 which is really the driving force here - we'll take the money saved on mortgage payments, bills, cars and spend it on higher priorities for us - accelerating retirement savings to reach ultimate financial/career freedom faster (not saying we'll stop working earlier, but having the option would be nice!), experiences, classes/lessons, more Leafs, more travel and just the ability to breathe a little after stretching ourselves so significantly to get into this house, then as soon as we got comfortable increasing the mortgage payments to get it paid off faster. So, basically, being comfortable for the first time since we lived in our townhome on Schroeder Cres, which I on and off have mildly regretted moving from because it was just so damn affordable!

I wanted to add a big disclaimer, that this move is right for us, and us alone. It's in no way a commentary on anyone else's choices. Especially in that we aren't having kids. As a kid, some of my best memories are in my backyard. It was my happy place! Tobogganing down the tiny hill in the winter; playing "spy" around my and Aynsley's houses, learning about backyard birds from my mom. Then, as a teenager, our 2000 square foot home provided much needed separation from my parents! A separate place to hang out and watch tv with friends was crucial. If Jeff and I were on the life path of having kids, we'd for sure finish paying off this home and hunker down here for the long haul. Then again, there are tons of different ways to make it work! No one decision will be right for everyone. Plus, I need big beautiful real estate to enjoy with soaring ceilings and flooring that stretches on forever - so someone's gotta keep that going!!

For me, I never imagined living in the same place for more than 10 years. I panicked when we bought this house and Jeff suggested we stay here for 20 years. I talked him down to 5-10. It's telling that this will be my third purchased home since 2007. I'm pretty nuts about real estate, and I just like variety all around! I've changed jobs six times in 11 years, changed my priorities and interests more times than I count. I thrive on variety, doing things that scare me and having adventures. Having Jeff and my friends and family as the constants in my life are great - everything else, let's spin the wheel!

I'm really excited for this next adventure to begin, with my awesome hubby and furry puppy by my side. August 2020.. oh gawwwwwwwwwwwddddd this wait is going to kill me!!!

The Facts

I forced you to listen to me ramble for this long, now here are the goods on where we're going!

Condo Development: The Metalworks
Location: The transition between downtown Guelph and (ominous music) THE WARD! 73 Arthur St. S to be specific
Occupancy: August 2020
Unit specs: 1,050 square feet, 240 square foot balcony; 2 bedrooms + den, 2 bathrooms
Parking: 1 space, underground, with car charger
Finishes: tbd - I am so excited. Stone counters and tiled showers are a minimum, which is not too shabby!
Amenities: party room, chef's kitchen and dining room, guest suite, bar (private spaces available for rent for about $100/pop); gym, dog spa, library,

The Metalworks is a pretty cool development I've been keeping a close eye on for the past several years. It's pricier than almost every other condo in Guelph except the River Mill and River House (also downtown) which is driving me a little nuts, but I rationalize we're paying a premium for downtown living and the car charger (no other condo offers this, come on Guelph, get a move on!). In the end it will consist of 5 phases (we're phase 3) and a heritage building turned restaurant and distillery (cool). It backs onto the Speed River. I'm excited to see the Ward continue to turn over into a bit more of a cool, contemporary funky spot. There is this nasty warehouse that I'm going to have to strategically not look at until it sells/changes hands/gets torn down. I'm thinking of petitioning them to put in a green roof ;) But I'm grateful for this old neighbourhood and it's wonderful old trees. It will be neat to be a part of it changing over the coming decade.

In another 10 years (estimate) we'll see where we end up. Retired and living in a cottage on a lake full time? (yes please! Freedom 45?? haha I wish). Finally trying out downtown Toronto living? In the middle of nowhere with my own forest? In a tiny house on a tiny lot because we just couldn't stand the proximity of other people in condo living? In a literal tiny house because we loved the smaller space? Out west with the grizzlies in BC? Leading ecotours in the Galapagos? In Niagara on the Lake close to my parents? It's cool to think that we could keep this condo forever and rent it out, allowing us to go where the wind takes us (jobs pending). It really does feel like I've started sawing a ball and chain off my leg. The future freedom feels at once scary and exhilarating. Note to self: make the most of it!

Thanks for coming along on my thought journey today!

Movin' on Down... Part 1

I'm excited to share that Jeff and I are officially the proud new owners of a condo... that won't exist until 2020! Yep, that's right - we are downsizing! The driving force is financial freedom - I know mortgages are kinda de rigeur, but we have a unique opportunity to sidestep the last 12 years of payments, because we bought our house when the market was in the tank (and the Guelph market did well as the TO market boomed), and are willing to live in a smaller space - I just felt this pressing need to take advantage of the value in our home. And like 60 year old empty nesters, we have realized we don't need this much space, we're tired of the maintenance (yard, cleaning, repairs), have always been interested in downtown living - so here we go! The 2 year window until our home actually exists should hopefully be enough time to get rid of several couches, cars, treadmills, coffee tables and the remarkable number of 'things' we have filled our house with since we moved here in 2010 (...maybe). Though I'm relieved about my heavy duty Marie Kondo effort of December 2017 (see I Got Kondo'd - Part 1 and Part 2), which I had in the back of my mind was the first step toward downsizing, it didn't take care of the pieces of furniture which fill this full house plus basement. To Kijiji!! (p.s. anyone want a couch or treadmill? let me know!)

Question Period

Questions? I thought you might have some - I've heard every question and concern under the sun, but to the credit of my coworkers, friends, and family once their questions had been answered they were happily on board because they could see that we were stoked about this (as usual, against social norm) life choice.

1. What about your dog?
Our dog's top 2 priorities are napping as close to us as possible at all times and going for walks. Bailey was a 10 year old at heart by the age of 2 - just an old soul. His use of our backyard consists of laying on the deck staring at the grass and occasionally using it as a toilet (though he mostly goes on walks, because it's important that I touch poop every day of my life). When we have to get up with him in the middle of the night there are a lot of stairs to head down anyway. And since he will never age or pass away, we're good.. right? ;)
Conclusion: more small walks, nothing else changes for Bailey

2. Don't you love your backyard?
Yes, the big willow trees on our back neighbour's rural property and shaded deck are wonderful. We sit out there about 1x a week from April - October (though not in this crazy kinda heat) and love it. But I just don't love it ENOUGH to keep paying through the nose for it for another decade plus. I would literally pay someone if I never had to garden again in my life. ;) The hot tub was a fun/novel addition but it is a lot of money and maintenance and the chlorine plus my skin is not a great combo, especially in the winter.
Conclusion: Our 250 sqft shaded 5th floor balcony will have nice views of treetops (and our building allows hot tubs on balcony - doubt it, but good to know!)

3. But I thought you loved your house!
I never would have spent every last cent to my name if I didn't love this house to pieces. I think an appropriate word all my fb/friends could agree to use is "obsessed" during the buying, building and decorating process. In 2009 my priority was buying as much space as I possibly could and I was thrilled to end up here. We felt so lucky, so in love with this home, and spent years lovingly tending to it. But the bloom is off the rose. We can't/don't want to sacrifice $ for Leafs tickets to pay for cleaners so we spend 1 hour a week dusting, vacuuming and scrubbing 2000 square feet. Jeff mows the lawn in the stifling heat of summer. We seal the driveway. We refinish the deck. Jeff waters and weeds the gardens and lawn. We work, and work, and work, and have stopped finding joy in it. There's always another outdoor improvement project to blow a couple grand on per summer and yet another room to upgrade in our home. The windows and shingles are more than halfway through their life so I see that $30,000+ cost staring me down. And I just... want out.
Conclusion: We aren't "in love" with our home anymore, though still love it very much - but we are starting to see some red flags! ;)

4. You're going down to one car? But you love Sparky!
That one's easy - I love our fully electric Tesla even more! And I will not miss the multiple car payments or insurance payments, that's for sure!
Conclusion: I get 2 more years with Sparky, and then share Tesla with Jeff. I can do it.

5. Won't you and Jeff feel cramped, cutting your space down to 1050 sqft?
It's very difficult to use two living rooms, a dining room and three bedroom simultaneously, if you can imagine (haha, I was so irritated when I drafted this blog post in early August, I'm actually just transcribing it now - but I'm leaving that in because it made me laugh). Two adults need maximum two living areas and we will have three (it's a 2 bedroom plus den with a living/dining area). I don't think we need 2000 square feet to fit comfortably. Contrary to what Jeff will tell you, I do really like him! ;)
Conclusion: We will not feel cramped and if we do there are multiple indoor/outdoor common areas as well as nearby parks and coffee shops!

6. What about Jeff's tools and woodworking?
Jeff builds about one piece of furniture every 2 years. We'll put his albeit impressive tool collection in our external storage space ($150/month compared to a decade of four digit mortgage payments per month felt like a good tradeoff) and he found a space in downtown Guelph you can pay a monthly fee that you can stop and start anytime to use their tools, workbenches and space as often as you like. However, he has decided he doesn't like the idea of building things for selling (too bad, he could have a great side hustle, he's so talented!!) and already having built our entertainment unit, kitchen table, headboard and coffee table, and in the process of building a new writing desk for me (all can fit into the new space, yay) he's basically out of stuff to build. Unless we wanted to sit on some sort of wooden couch..
Conclusion: There is a workable solution for my woodworkin' guy.

Stay tuned for the next post, containing a list of the things we're pretty darn jazzed about... :)

Back at It

 

I've been having a less than optimal 2018, although it has been packed with great things and highlights among the tragedy and stressors. I was thinking that I would need to create at least 10 blog posts to get caught up on this year. But what I've learned is that you can't spend too much time looking backwards, you can't stop time. And no matter how hard I try I won't be able to capture all the sad, all the beautiful, and all the happy. So with that being said here is a short series of blurbs about the first half of 2018. Really looking forward to a much better second-half – come on quarters three and four!

In February 2018 my boss Wendy, who had been covering both the positions of Regional Vice President and Director of Conservation since the passing of our RVP James (suddenly and tragically in January) realized that the two positions were too much for one person, so she passed along the bulk of the Director of Conservation job to me. We didn't have the foresight to backfill my role, not knowing how long it would be before Ontario Region hired a new RVP, so I spent mid February 2018 to mid June 2018 absolutely drowning. Something weird happened, that enabled me to get all the work done for both positions, supervising a total of 11 staff out of Ontario's 35 full-time staff, meeting deadlines, completing business planning, and somehow keeping enough balls in the air that nothing went off the tracks, and some pressing long-term problems even got resolved. I don't know how to describe it except it felt like I kicked it into some sort of high gear I didn't even know I had in me. But what I should've realized it was four months spent in this gear was going to destroy me. And it did. I've experienced burnout before at work, and decently stayed away from it since that time, but here I was again, burned to an absolute crisp. When I look back at pictures or messages from that time I can see and feel my stress – it was tangible, unsustainable and it really took a toll on me. Luckily, when Wendy and I realized that there would not be a new VP hired until at least the fall, I cried mercy, she answered swiftly, and we found a backfill for my position. The backfill is the person from whom I took over the job in 2012, so I couldn't think of a better person to take my place to allow me to focus on the DOC job, allow Wendy to focus on the VP job, and for all of us to truly make sure that everything stays on track and even makes nice progress ahead. Again, it's not to say there weren't highlights during these four months, like my meeting with Margaret Atwood (fangirling hugely), our annual staff retreat, trying out floating (sensory deprivation in saltwater) for three wonderful separate hours of oblivion throughout the month of April, a couple of stolen vacation days which were sanity makers, fun events like the Cardin Challenge, and lots of great memories with friends on weekends and weeknights, and as always clinging to the liferaft I know as Jeff. But Oh. My. Goodness: I couldn't be more glad that it's over. My replacement is now up and running so for at least the next couple of months I will have just one job, this new and interesting challenge of DOC for Ontario Region, and it will be interesting to see what this job actually looks like without the constraints of my usual position preventing me from thinking it the DOC job is anything except sheer and utter torture! ;-)

Carden Challenge highlight: a Red-shouldered Hawk carrying a weasel in its claws. Photo credit Bill McIntyre

No better way to spend 24 hours in the Carden Alvar :) With my team the Bruce and Spruce Moose

So.... when you are overstressed, what else is there to do but sign up for a triathlon, doubling the distance of any triathlon you've done before. So that's what I did! On June 17 the Guelph Lake 1 Sprint Distance Triathlon took place, and I crossed the finish line! I'm not going to pretend I didn't cross the finish line 20th from last out of hundreds of participants, but I'm also very proud that I did cross it and in a reasonable time of two hours and two minutes. It included a 750 m swim, a 19 km bike ride, and a 5 km walk. You're supposed to run that last bit, but with my recurring foot injury due to a loose and unsupportive ligament in my right foot, running is off the table for me. However, I learned that I can walk 5K in 42 minutes, which is pretty excellent! The swim was intense – this race is full of professional triathletes and very serious triathlon club members who take it all VERY seriously. The way people swim in this race almost just makes me laugh every time I'm in the water with them – the splashing, the intensity, the fierceness – when I tried to escape to the outside of the pack on one of the corners one guy lifted his head from the water and frantically screamed at me "you need to go this way!". I think he was thinking that I was just going to keep swimming for the great beyond. He was so stressed out my response was only to laugh. I'm proud I made it out of the water in about 21 minutes, front crawling almost the whole way. Switching to a road bike this year was definitely an advantage, and I think my speed of 23 km/hr on the bike ride was good. Finally, the walk was actually the most fun part for me because I got to chat with other people who were at the back of the pack and not so intensely competitive, and we encouraged each other all the way to the finish line. Getting that medal felt great. It reinforced my love for multisport, and solidified the fact that I'm done with running (at least for now until my foot is in better shape, should I ever be able to get it to that place through annoying physio and strengthening exercises which, really, I just hate). So that means my next event is going to be a "swim/bike", in Niagara on July 29. It's the same distance swim – 750 m – but a 25 kilometer bike ride, including a 1km climb straight up the Niagara escarpment, which should be an interesting challenge. I've ridden up the escarpment one time before, but who's to say I can't just do that again! Also, I had to buy a new tri top due to my excess pounds gained this year from grief and stress eating, rendering me NOT sports bra/tight shorts ready, so I've got to get my money's worth and take it out for at least a few more races!

My parents came to the finish line for me bc Jeff was in Germany, then my dad took this supremely dorky photo for me when we got home

 

I used to always share the stories where I did the stupidest things, and I don't want this post to be an exception. Jeff, my parents and I, were cycling the Waterfront Trail in Burlington/Oakville in May and having a good decent long ride. Jeff had fallen behind due to an equipment issue, so my parents and I turned onto a side street off Lakeshore to wait for him to catch up, and get out of the traffic ourselves. As we waited, we suddenly saw a blur of black on a black bike zoom past, and it didn't stop even when we shouted "Jeff! Jeff!". I was feeling cocky due to recent triathlon training, so I decided to chase Jeff down on my bike. For a good 1.5 km I rode flat out at 33 km/h, but was barely closing the gap. Jeff was riding so fast, presumably to catch up to the rest of us, and even though I was shouting his name he didn't appear to be able to hear me, so I just kept riding and yelling "Jeff! Jeff!". When I saw his head tipped back slightly I screamed "yeah! You!" And " Jeff" stopped. As I neared him I realized that this was not Jeff at all but another cyclist who seemed very shaken up by the angry blonde girl speeding towards him and screaming. I simply said "you are not my husband. You are wearing identical outfits and we lost him. I am SO sorry." I turned around and rode back to where my parents were, and couldn't tell them the story because I was laughing so hard. Luckily we reunited with the real Jeff again at some point along the way and finished our ride.

I want to reflect on all the loss that has happened in early 2018, because I don't want to run away from the idea that death is an inevitable part of life. I know it's just going to keep happening. I keep thinking "don't I get a break from this?", But it just keeps happening and as I get older, everyone I love is going get older too. So to the bosses, moms, aunts, sisters, pregnancies, and all the other losses that were suffered during the first half of 2018, know that you were all loved, that you are also dearly missed, and that the rest of us lucky enough to persevere on this planet will do our best to live

our lives right, for you.

My Aunt Lynne, who passed away on June 28 2018. I'm grateful for the good memories.

 

 

I recently listened to a great podcast featuring Sarah Knight, an author who I hadn't heard of before, and it was a pretty awesome game changer. It inspired me to download and gobble up her e-book The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck (for the record, I am reading or listening to at least 1 to 2 books per week, resurrecting my old grade 5 nickname of "Books" which I know at the least will make Dawn laugh pretty hard). The premise of this spin on Marie's Kondo's classic (around here anyways: instant classic ;)) was to be more authentically you, whatever that means, and recognize and stick to a big list of all the things you have decided are going to care about, and especially all the things you are not going to care about. I found the process of writing both lists incredibly enlightening, uplifting, and freeing,. Writing down words like "I don't care about gardening" and "I never have to run again in my entire life if I don't want to" and "I don't want to discuss current events for more than 5 minutes when I am socializing with people I care about" was so freeing. It's allowing me to own parts of what I want to give my energy to, without yielding to the fact that everybody thinks as a naturalist I should be an amazing gardener, or that as a bright girl I probably want to talk about politics – I don't – politics absolutely depress and disgust me most of the time and I can't handle the pain. On the flipside of that, writing a list of things I did care about, which I dabbled in during my "manifesto" of 2015, was reaffirmation that spending time with people I care about, reading, writing, outdoor fitness, travel, TV shows I love like The Affair (augh - so good - inhaling it right now!), are absolutely things I could, should, would, and will give my time and energy too (that is a sample of the 6 things from a list of like 60 - yikes!). Awesome! Now the trick is continuing to populate the list and remembering that I don't have to care about things that I genuinely don't care about. Whether or not you think I should do them, should care about them, and whatever expectation you have for me – sorry to tell you, if they're on my don't give a f*ck list, they're out of here! If you're interested in taking deep into who you are and what matters to you today, to help you focus how you want to spend your time and energy, I would highly recommend her book.


Add caption


It feels so nice to share some life updates and musings, and just to write again, even though writing these days is mostly with my voice because of my persistent tennis elbow issues (as such any crazy grammar errors I blame on my dictation program!). I hope to get back into the swing of writing blog posts regularly and reflecting on some of the things going on in my life, new things I'm thinking about, and sharing of ridiculous stories. It's my hope that putting my thoughts into the world will make people feel less alone if they are thinking about some of the same things as me, inspired to take action in their own lives in a new way they hadn't thought about, to be very sure that they don't want their life to look anything like my life, and best of all if I can get it, to make somebody laugh.... ("Jeff! Jeff!!!!").

 

Last up: I booked our flights to Quito this week. Galapagos Oct/Nov 2018 here we commmmmmme!!!!

Waved Albatross who only live and breed in Galapagos - this bird is thigh-tall for reference!

 

I Got Kondo'd - Steps 4 & 5

So, what was I saying? Ah yes, komono.... step 4.

CRAP WAS EVERYWHERE!

It was in every drawer, every basket, every cabinet. It was in my night table, the kitchen, the living room. Picture loose change, buttons, a spool of thread (I don't sew!), 15 serving platters, hideous mugs, and all that stuff you keep because "I could use this for.." "one day I might.." "maybe someone would want...". UGH! This to me is the bane of the stress that comes with "too much stuff", where you start to feel suffocated and overrun by your possessions. When drawers don't close. When you can't get at the thing you actually want due to all the junk piled in front of it.

I asked myself these types of questions: how many of Item X do I ACTUALLY need? Does having 12 back up wine glasses (along with the set of 8 we have) bring me joy (in my case - hells no!!). Will I ever sew a button on a shirt? If a button falls off a shirt.. isn't that shirt ready to be donated? Will I ever wear this necklace I haven't worn in 15 years again? Just because I wore these shoes to my wedding, do I intend to keep them forever in this shoe organizer, even though they're too fancy to wear anywhere else and the heels are covered in dirt from our outdoor ceremony and pictures? :) Also I think we're really lucky to live in the digital age where saying goodbye to CDs doesn't mean saying goodbye to Nirvana's entire collection of songs, forever. All those CDs were ripped long ago and are available whenever I want them! I have an android box where every movie or tv show I could ever want to see is illegally available to me. :P Every instruction manual for everything I own is online! There are 9,700 versions of a recipe for every type of food item you could ever dream of making, a click away.

And what's with the hoarding? We wouldn't need so much storage space if we didn't buy 87 rolls of toilet paper when they came on sale. Again, the world is very unlikely to end tomorrow, leaving you very glad for all 87 rolls. You live in a city with stores on every corner to buy toilet paper in! And 4 sets of bedsheets for the guest room? I think we could get by with 1! I kept 2 to be safe ;) Just... tone it DOWN, friend! (yelling at myself there.. still in shock about how much stuff there was). Bottom line - we need way, way less shit than we currently have. And with that, we added to our eventual 6 hatchback carloads that went to the dump, Goodwill, Value Village, The Beat Goes On, Royal City Gold.. you name it. We sold a lot of stuff, gave away a ton more (and it felt so, so good) to friends, family, and mainly people we don't know, who need it more than us.

I traced my obsession with stuff back to the days when we first bought this house (let's be honest, the first three years) when I was sick over how house poor we were. I could have no "stuff". I let myself spend $100/year on clothes. No new dishes. No new books. Electronics/toys had to be very well justified to enter our doors! When my step-grandma would load me up with stuff (she was a lover and hoarder of all stuff), I'd cling to it like a life preserver. "I have obtained things! All is well!!" It's amazing what a 180 I did in the span of a month. I denounced presents and gifts that weren't consumables. I loathed giving people gifts this Christmas for fear that they wouldn't use them and I would have just contributed more to their STUFF load. I felt more joy in getting rid of things than acquiring them. I'll be honest.. this process changed me and it was WEIRD.

Kitchen junk drawer - ONE pair of oven mitts, ONE apron, 50% less dish towels, and 1 less set of cloth napkins. Twist ties, elastics, labels, one lighter and one pen. DONE. Damn I wish I had a before pic of the hot mess that was :)

Up last was Step 5: sentimental items.

I threw away 2000 photos!! That's my best estimate. From the ages of 11-23 I took pictures on film at a pretty impressive rate, and had the 20+ photo albums to show for it. I took them all apart, put the pics in chronological order, and as I was doing it, got rid of blurry pics, doubles, pics where no one looked good, 1/2 of a 1997 trip to Greece where I took miscellaneous photos of Dawn in our various hotel rooms. I kept about 1000 pics which someday I'd love to scan (but couldn't justify the cost/time right now). In the bookcase pic in my last post you can see 7 photo albums, plus our wedding album. Set for life!

I recycled 4 shoeboxes of notes from high school. I kept the ones that made me laugh out loud. Truth, I didn't read them all. High School Kristyn is actually not who I am anymore, and while I'm glad she had the experiences she did, she was a boy-crazy, drama-lovin' typical teenager. Plus, if I ever need a trip down memory lane, I have her diaries (oh gawd.. mortifying..).

I threw out another 4 shoeboxes of miscellaneous memories - every movie stub, beer bottle cap, napkin from a restaurant while traveling, etc etc etc etc. The purple paper covered box you see in the bookcase pic (last post) is what I kept and where I'll keep a few future worthy items. What's in there now: a few key high school notes from characters like Dawn, Nicole and Jana, cards with sweet messages that made me smile or tear up, the ticket to my first (and last and almost every in between :)) Leafs game, and all the beautiful love notes Jeff has written me. I shed tears and laughter, and in the process, a lot of space/stuff/weight/emotions. What remains is that purple shoebox, those photo albums, a tote of diaries and stories, and ... that's it.

I would like to solve the mystery of who the heck wrote me this funniest email ever in high school. I was hysterically laughing about it - whoever it was shares my very random sense of humour. If you're someone I have on fb, please let me know, and thank you (then and now) for the laughs!!

I'm light as a feather. There is so much space around here. And even though my house looks basically the same to an outsider, I'm finding it WAY easier to relax in, WAY easier to clean up and keep clean, WAY more appealing to come home to and way easier to focus on what matters: my relationships, my hobbies, living a healthy life, and relaxing in a bath with a thousand candles lit because, guys, I finally found where I was keeping the extra candles!!

Also, doesn't this battery drawer (that used to not open) just look so chill?! ;)



Basement storage area, 1/2 of what used to be here, everything you need to reach can be reached with one move. And GOODBYE PLASTIC CHRISTMAS TREE! One of my favourite moves :)




Anyways, that's the extent of my thoughts about this process that I can share. Definitely would recommend it to anyone. If you can't imagine going as hardcore as me, don't. Just start small. Maybe do your clothes, or your books. It gets a little addictive (having trouble watching movies or tv shows without mentally editing the contents of their bookcases in the background). So thanks, Marie, you slightly kooky organizing lady. It was indeed life-changing!

I Got Kondo'd - Steps 1 - 3

** I was working on these posts about decluttering my home before my life went off the rails last week and we lost the beloved leader of our organization. I thought they would be a nice distraction to work on today. They were! A weekend of supreme relaxation, spending time in nature and getting a little caught up on life was just what the doc ordered.

I subscribe to an audiobook service called Scribd which ends up giving me more to read and listen to than I can keep up with. I think I read about a book every 10 days last year!! Audiobooks are great as I can devour them while on the road or on dogwalks. The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo was one of the most interesting listens of 2017 and I couldn't help it.. I got totally inspired to declutter my life.

Her book takes you through five steps of decluttering, from easiest to toughest. You start with your clothes. I thought I wasn't someone with a lot of clothes. I was wrong.

I had a disgusting amount of clothes! I could have lived for 6 weeks without doing laundry!! What sort of apocalypse was I preparing for? Enough! Marie wants you to hold each item (EVERY ITEM IN YOUR HOUSE, FOLKS) and ask yourself: "does this bring me joy?". With clothes, I found the answers were SUPER easy! Turns out I hated a ton of my clothes! Turns out just because something fits, doesn't mean it's a good look for you, the fabric feels nice or the colour makes you happy. Adios dark pink plaid shirt! See ya later blazer that was never and never will be my style! No more, socks with hole!!!! Anywho.. this process, while destroying an entire Saturday, was absolutely worth it.

T-shirt drawer of joy

This drawer used to hold only 6 items of clothing! Look at it now!

I got really efficient with my space, moving into the second, smaller bedroom closet (ugh that sentence drips with privilege...... I am very aware) and learning how to fold so that my dresser could hold more than I ever thought it could! Marie's folding method takes a bit more time because I can't fold shirts in the air in 0.8 seconds anymore, but it makes packing for trips a breeze and constantly reminds me what clothes I have so I don't forget to wear any of these items, carefully retained for the joy they bring me :)

Up next was books. Beyond the 8th grade, I stopped hoarding books like a crazy mini librarian, realizing that they are always available to be borrowed, or from a library. After a few moves, I was down to just four shelves of books in my bookcase. But books were actually everywhere - cookbooks in the junk drawer in the kitchen, books I was "intending" to read "someday" in my night table, books in that random basket of random stuff under the end table in the living room. So I donated 6 boxes of books to Goodwill, and selected a few of my favourite authors for the neighbourhood borrowing box, hoping I'd "spark joy" in someone else when they read Marian Keyes for the first time. I retained only books I thought I'd use again (travel or nature reference), or ones that I've already read at least 2-3x and am not even close to being sick of. As I said, I'm fielding 4 books a month on Scribd, so I have enough electronic books to keep me busy for life, and a great public library for when I finally have to kick the ebook habit ;)

The best books! From a bird reference guide, to Emily Giffin, these all bring me such joy!

 

This used to be stuffed! I wish I was better at before pics. Jeff is going to build a new, smaller bookcase for this space!

'Books' was done, and I was feeling go-ood. I could do this!! Up next. Papers. So, files, receipts, instruction manuals - picture everything paper and figure out what's got to go. Marie recommended ONE file with pertinent warranties and receipts. She's a maniac. But guess what - I did ok! All the paper in my house now lives in my filing cabinet and I used to have trouble getting stuff into and out of it because it was so full. Three recycling bags later and voila.

I was pretty exhausted at this point, it had been at least a full weekend (Sat/Sun) and another weeknight or two (I have lost track at this point), but up next was komono, also known as "miscellany", also known as the bane of my existence. The motivation was certainly there. So prior to, and during our extensive home reno over the holidays, I went to town on komono, phase 4.

Tune in to my second post on this. Even writing it as one post was too overwhelming for me!

Remembering James

I was just talking about grief with my mom yesterday, and how when it hits you it's like a big earthquake, followed by so many aftershocks (and you never know when they're coming). And you run around in circles trying to DO something to make the feelings go away. If I just a) eat this b) watch this c) do this d) talk to this person e) write it down (look familiar?) THEN I'll start to feel right again. But the hard truth is, you can't feel right again when you lose someone you care about. Not right away anyways.. It just takes time. It takes all those afterblows, and the tears that come with them, and the good memories, and the harder ones, and the last things you said to each other to cross your brain 50 times, and talking, and writing (and eating).. and what's actually happening as all those moments occur, is time passing. Because time is really the only thing that makes losing someone even minimally, somewhat, slightly "ok".

Today, the head of my department, our regional vice president, my boss' boss, and my former boss for 4 years from 2009-2013, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. James .. I don't know how to describe him except this phrase that keeps coming to mind.. he was everything. He was personality, sarcasm, a dark and evil sense of humour, charm and lightness, sensitive, brilliant, strategic, the biggest of big picture thinkers, a softie with a hard shell that didn't take much to crack, and the proudest VP, dad and husband around. He would hate it if I described him this way: but he just sparkled. His legacy in conservation will be remembered forever. Long after people stop remembering him, me and the rest of us, they will walk the shores of places like Wilson Island in Lake Superior and be glad that a place like that was protected. And that was James. He devoted his career to conservation, was the second longest-standing employee at our organization, and was inspiring people, building them up, and taking them down a peg, just to keep it real, until his last day. Which I still can't believe was today.

Hearing the news I was suddenly no longer in my body, but watching a movie of a person receiving bad news who stumbles backwards to the wall and slithers to the floor in tears. Even though it's hit me about 15x now and I've burst into hysterical sobs, every time I realize it's real again, I'm back in that moment, slithering to the floor, pain as fresh as knives. And omg, I'm just his employee. I can't stop thinking about his wife of 20+ years, his three boys (teenagers) and wondering what they must be going through. 54 is way, way too young.

But that's life, isn't it. Full of shitty surprises. All any of us can do is tell the people we love that we love them, be kind and good as much of as many days as we're able, and try to make the most of the short precious time we get to spend here. Damn living is good. And it's way too easy to take it for granted.

Here's my memorial to James, thinking through the ways he touched my life.

He hired me in 2009 after I'd been with our organization for 2 years, into a new role with a lot more responsibility than I'd had in my previous job. Suddenly I went from dealing with conservation plans on my computer, to dealing with people and properties. We managed Northwestern Ontario in tandem for a few years, which meant lots of grumpy early morning flights to Thunder Bay together (neither of us are morning people) and long road trips across the Trans Canada. He loved showing off NWO and the conservation successes he'd had up there. His pride and joy was Wilson Island, 5,000 acres of untouched boreal forest in Lake Superior which he'd been after for a decade and finally secured in 2008. We had a blast exploring the island together. He brought his middle son, Jayden, which made our motley crew of biologists, boat drivers, managers and new northern friends that much weirder, and more memorable. He always called me Grasshopper, as I learned the ropes (I was super naïve at 27, even moreso than I am today at 35 if you can believe it ;)) and one of my proudest moments was when I successfully negotiated my first land deal, skirting some land mines, and he emailed "You have snatched the pebble, Grasshopper." I'll definitely have to watch some Kung Fu in his honour sometime. It was James who pushed me into an Acting Program Director role for the first time. I was 28 and I thought he was bloody crazy. I asked him to pump up my tires and tell me WHY he thought I was ready for that level of responsibility and he said he could teach a monkey how to negotiate a land deal, but people skills were something you couldn't teach, and I had them. Since the man handed out compliments about twice a year at most, I never forgot this one. He also shoved me into a full time Program Director role (after shoving me into a second Acting PD role for the second time in one year), as I was almost literally kicking and screaming. Unsurprisingly, it was exactly the right move for me and my career, and he knew that very well all along.

I bumped up against a couple of rough HR moments somewhere in the middle of all of this, and he was a huge supporter and there for me exactly when I needed his support the most. He did everything I could have asked for, and even the things I didn't, to keep me from drowning. He was always so steady, and so sure. I don't think it was necessarily like that under the surface (I know for a fact he would draft important emails and read them over and over again for many days before sending them), but he was your life preserver when you needed him.

All of this makes our relationship sound like it was super rosy, but it wasn't perfect by any means! We could be pretty tough with each other - nonstop teasing, never giving the other person an inch, and he challenged me ALL THE TIME. We had a couple of good battles. But what was always there was respect and kindness, under it all. His last email to me, and two of my coworkers, read: "I hate you all!" as he was being teased for being early for a conference call for the first time in his life, and was actually a full half hour early and the call hadn't started yet. I replied: "That's sweet, James". Those weren't quite our last words - we had a productive call after that on Friday morning. But I sure wish I had known it was the last time I'd get to speak to him.

I have so many wonderful memories with James. I can't picture what work is going to be like without him. We're all wandering around like zombies today, not quite believe that this is real. The spirit and passion of our region .. he's gone? But what he would want would be for us to carry on with that spirit and passion, and keep delivering amazing conservation for years and years to come. I know before long I'll be walking on the JD Nature Reserve, and my tears will be all over that forest, or wetland, or alvar. It will be a lucky property that gets his name on it forever. He made a humongous difference at our organization, in all our lives and he will never, ever be forgotten. I can't believe how much you can miss someone - so sharply, and so quickly. Wow does it hurt tonight. I'm just going to let the hurt happen, and try to focus on those good memories. On that note, here are some of my fave pics from our time together.

Staff retreat - JD & me, Annette, Ali and Cara. So much wine. So much fun.

He spent this hike on a property in Northwestern Ontario throwing snowballs at me, and then tested the water (verdict: Lake Superior in late October is cold!)

 

Management canoe race at staff retreat (James and Chris); the interns beat these two by a long shot after he lost his paddle

 

He took me to this amazing lookout over Lake Superior. Can't beat that view. This one is framed and hanging downstairs!

 

2 days on Wilson Island with James, Jayden and crew in August 2010

So glad I was on a pic-taking tear this spring, and so glad James got to see the completed work in Creemore. This project took me 4.5 years, $400,000 and I never could have done it without his support!



My work parents - my boss Wendy, and James, who just learned how to wear his buff like a toque

I will never forget you JD

Kristyn Goes to the Pool

I'm not sure why I've never been able to do the simplest of tasks without the maximum amount of ridiculous, embarrassing things happening to me. I'm grateful that I came with a built-in self deprecating sense of humour to withstand the humiliation of the many, many very, very stupid things I've done in public over the years.

Last night I decided: fitness night!! There was a fresh dumping of snow overnight Sunday into Monday, and the temperatures had just risen above nose-falling-off frigid, so it seemed the perfect weather to get out for my first snowshoe of the season, and I had to walk the dog anyways. And the public pool that reopened in my neighbourhood last year runs a "fitness swim" from 9-10 p.m. most evenings. With no other plans, it seemed like a perfect night to burn off the few marshmallows dipped in peanut butter dipped in rice krispies I'd indulged in when I got home from work (these were all Christmas baking leftovers - I finally tossed the marshmallows today - enough already!!!). Caution: don't try this homemade snack lest you want to spend your night in the throes of fitness... Ok anyways, onto the hijinx.

Bailey and I headed out to the local neighbourhood park built around the old landfill site (Jeff and I affectionately call it "the dump park") to get our snowy workout in. I definitely fall down every time I cross country ski, but snowshoes are essentially giant balancing feet, so you think you'd be all set to stay upright, right? Nope. I bailed twice, once going downhill with a little too much enthusiasm (picture windmilling limbs, all four of them) and the other time in a giant unpredictable snowdrift that was inexplicable based on its location and my knowledge of that terrain when there's no snow.... I'm still trying to figure out how a crater formed along the usual walking path :P This drift was so deep the dog (Rottweiler x shepherd) was up to his ears!! Rather than using him as a canary in a snowy coal mine, I just went right into the same spot and suffered the same fate. We both extricated ourselves eventually but shared a look of: "whoa! that was deep!". The tights I'd worn to keep cool since I knew I'd get hot slogging around in all that snow were not waterproof, so the last few steps back to the car were PRETTY chilly as the snow soaked through! Good news - we made it out alive :)

Bailey boy

Pink cheeks!

Fun (soaked) tights & snowshoes

Then it was off to the pool. I said to Jeff as I was leaving "I feel like I'm going to do something stupid. Getting into my bathing suit in a public place and jumping into a communal bathtub is already my worst nightmare." Self-fulfilling prophecy?

1) Arriving at the rec centre, I stood in front of the automatic door and nothing happened. I panicked mildly before locating the actual opening of the door, eight feet to my left. Sigh. Not off to a great start.

2) To mitigate potential future horrors, I asked the guy working the front desk: "I've never been here before, and I'm the type to do something stupid like walking into the men's changeroom, so can you tell me exactly how this works?" He said, "you go into the women's changeroom, and the door to the pool is right through there. It's really easy." Fine. I'll trust you, fella (hint: there were a few more key things he could have mentioned, such as lockers!)

3) The lockers had those crazy pay a quarter, turn the key, key pops out, attach key to self with safety pin systems. A woman in the changeroom noticed me staring at them for a good ten seconds, so I said "do you know how to use these?". She pointed to the instructions, clearly printed on the inside of the door (but the inside of the door? come on!). I slid off my clothes, having already put on my bathing suit underneath (I am a good planner; nothing worse than wriggling into a tight bathing suit under fluorescent lights in a place you've never been before with strangers), worked the quarter-lock system like a pro, pinned my safety pin to myself and I was away to the pool!

4) Without my goggles. Sigh. Back to the changeroom. What? I don't get my quarter back?? I assumed it was like the shopping carts at No Frills. Geez.. I brought my own lock.. can I just use that!?!? Come on City of Guelph. Luckily I had many quarters. Got the goggles. Locker locked again, key pinned to me. Ok.. back to the pool.

5) I hopped into the "medium" speed lane, noticing everyone in every single lane was going exactly the same speed, and having no idea if I'm a fast, slow or medium swimmer. After 6 x 25m laps (which felt great by the way! swimming is basically the best - just the feeling of water, and freedom, and not aggravating my sprained foot or tennis elbows (too badly)), I noticed my lane-mate was standing at the end of the pool. I stood up as I was turning around and said hello and she asked if I could swim closer to my lane divider and only if another person came into the Medium speed area would we need to swim that close together. Yeesh! Pool etiquette I was unaware of!! So I hit the lane divider about 8 times for the rest of the night as I was swimming so close to it to avoid getting all up my neighbour's grill. Small victory: I kicked her ass and covered 750m in 25 minutes while she did maybe half that. ;)

6) I exited the pool feeling like a champ. 750m is the distance I need to do for a sprint triathlon, my summer goal, and I'd done it! In 25 mins! I caught a glimpse of my triumphant self in the mirror in the changeroom and said in my head "looking good girl!". Then realized I'd forgotten underwear to change into. And a toque for my wet hair. Not so well planned after all. Commando home it is.

7) Heading out the door, thinking about how thirsty I was, I suddenly spied a water fountain to my left and made a quick turn to take a drink before heading out into the night. "Wet floor" signs must have taken on some sort of "blend into the background" mode in my brain because I didn't see it, that floor was super wet, and I TOTALLY BAILED! I fell on my outstretched left arm and left knee, and slowly got to my feet. A rec centre worked called out "are you ok?". Someone else said "what happened?" and she yelled "this girl fell!!". Mortification complete. My answer to "are you ok?" was a timid "I don't know" - DAMN my elbow hurt! It didn't get any better overnight, and at my doc appointment that was already booked today, I asked her about the pain and she recommended I get an x-ray since it sounds like I might have a hairline fracture! I'm a walking medical textbook these days! 35 going on 80.

Lesson learned: stay home, don't move. You're a spaz. ;) No, no, just kidding. You know that I didn't sit out the outdoor skating session with my coworkers at lunch today. I got my heart pumping so well that I unzipped my jacket and flapped my arms around yelling "this is so funnnn!!!" - then had to stop because of the pain in my elbow. Victory - I did not fall.

Kathryn and I enjoying the outdoor rink at lunch

The roads iced over around 4 p.m. today as I left the doc's office, so I secured myself safely inside  - where I should probably stay indefinitely, but hey.. life's for livin' after all...