I thought I'd start with a roundup of some of my fond memories from my Toronto work trips over the past year or two. Ahh, memories.
- The time I walked into the parking garage stairwell at Yonge and Dundas to retrieve Jetta from it's $36/day parking spot, only to think "hmm.. something doesn't smell right". My eyes were treated to a sight as equally lovely as the smell wafting up the stairwell when I saw the guy passed out in a pile of his own vomit on the landing of the next level down. In true Toronto fashion, 2% of the other ppl in the stairwell gawked and covered their noses - 98% of the people walked by as if nothing was happening
- The time I was walking to dinner with Dawn and Melanie and we passed a dude muttering to himself as he walked down the street in the opposite direction. His eyes then locked on Dawn and without warning, he suddenly took a huge swing at her head, which she narrowly (but impressively) ducked. He continued on his way. The girls behind us asked mildly "did that guy try to hit you?" and 98% of the other people on the street just walked on by. Dawn, a TO native and returnee, recovered from the incident within seconds. I am still traumatized
- The time Dawn was showing me how to take the subway to get to our Toronto office. (Yes, this is embarassing to admit as a once-native of Toronto myself, but frig.. you get out of the habit of taking the thing and you can't remember which direction Yonge St. goes in! ;)) Dawn, taking a different route from her normal morning commute, directed us onto a subway car, only at the last minute to realize she had us going in the wrong direction. She deftly hopped off the train, just as the ominous "ding.. ding.. ding.." sounded. I scurried after her, saving myself from being crushed only by lifting my arms to stop the doors from closing on me - while wearing my pretty, just-cleaned white spring trench coat. It was no longer white after that..
- How about when I sneezed (into my sleeve, not grossly or anything) on the GO train near Union in 1' proximity to my 4 seatmates and 2 people standing in the aisle and not one person even flinched, nor bothered to say bless you. Toronto.. you so sweeeet....
So this week's trip was a pretty alright one. I took the GO in early Monday morning and watched the sun rise over Mississauga, the sky slowly changing from black to dusky to deep red to pink to orange to blue - fabulous! 10 minute delay getting into Union. Ok.. cutting it a bit close, but I should be ok. Then I got on the subway. I was comfortable in my seat by the window (I'm not so good with the planting my body weight in various directions to prevent toppling over, and I never seem to get to hold the pole when it's busy!) and having that weird feeling I forgot something at home. I started crafting my next door neighbour a text message to send when I was off the subway and had service, asking her to check if I'd closed the garage door and instructing her how to do so if I hadn't. I felt like I was still pretty far away from Eglinton (my stop) and wasn't 100% paying attention when I looked up, noticed the subway had stopped and saw "glinton" on the wall out the window. EFF!!!! I very gracefully yelled "OH SHIT! CAN I MAKE IT?" (who I was talking to I'm not sure). While tripping over my seatmate and trying to grab my bulging bags (can someone invent a system where you can simply press a button and have your bags travel through the space time continuum to arrive at your destination when you do? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!) I heard my favourite noise.. "ding... ding... ding", and, traumatized from the white coat incident of 2010, didn't try to make a mad dash through the doors. :( Ok fine.. I'll just go up to Lawrence, then hop back on the car going south. (Note: it's 8:13 and my first interview is at 8:30 and I have nothing set up and have all the interview materials in my bag.. my coworker is at the office with only his smile and a vague idea that we need to hire some people..). UMM the distance between Eglinton and Lawrence is ridiculously long compared to every other stop!!! I had a panicked three minutes (it's now 8:16), burst off the train onto the platform at Lawrence only to see the southbound car's doors closing. Ding... ding... ding.... FRRRRRIGGG!!! I waited completely impatiently.. another 3 minutes gone (it's now 8:19). The train pulls up, resembling nothing but a cattle car on the way to the slaughter house. Needing desperaely to find a handle so I didn't plunge into my fellow cows with every sway of the train, I went on my tippy toes and grabbed the bar above my head, snuggling up next to several strangers, one of whom breathed in my face for the next three minutes while I lost all feeling in my arm. Very cozy. Ride the train for another 3 mins (it's now 8:22...). Shuffle my way to the office which is luckily quite close to the stop - en route I send my neighbour the text (turns out the garage door was closed but the feeling was coming from having left the heat on for three days - my house helpfully warming and cooling itself for no one.. GREAT!). Burst into the office in a frenzy - so much of a frenzy that during the interview the candidate, describing a difficult time says "sometimes you just have those days - Kristyn knows what I mean". HAHA - HILARIOUS. No j/k, it was me who was making fun of myself and encouraging others to join me (but I'm still not hiring her ;)).
Only today did I remember my absolute favourite thing that happened whilst on the hectic subway ride Monday morning. We were at a stop, still pretty far downtown, and before my personal mayhem began I sat in my seat looking out the window at all the fancy people strolling by in their business formal best. I saw a lone pigeon on the bench on the platform. What are you doing in the underground subway, Mr. Pigeon!? Probably a common thing but he just looked so out of place to me. Then he hopped down off the bench just as a few people bustled past - I guess this freaked him out because he flew up midair in a flapping, winged frenzy. He wasn't actually going anywhere though, just sort of staying in one spot flapping, ironically right in the face of a fancy businessman. The businessman kept trying to walk around the flapping mess, trying to look unfazed. The pigeon seemed intent on staying right in front of his face. The whole thing probably only lasted 5 seconds, but that's an unbelievably long time to have a pigeon quite literally on your face. My only reaction was to laugh (trying to keep it quiet, not so good at that!) and once the business man freed himself from the pigeon's wings and continued on his way, our eyes locked and I'm sure he saw me laughing at his expense. But, in true Toronto style, he continued calmly on his way. I'm pretty sure my reaction in that situation would have been to turn in disbelief to the strangers around me and yell "DID YOU SEE THAT FREAKING BIRD?!". I am definitely not Toronto material anymore.....
I had decided to break in my new shoes on this trip. Some practical looking leather loafer type things for my many fancy meetings over the coming weeks. I didn't bring back-up shoes because my backpack and shoulder bag were already stuffed beyond the regulatory limits for public transit travel. By the time I reached the office Monday morning I had three blisters (including one blister through the preventative bandage I'd put on my heel - it was in the shape of the padded bandaid square.. that was a first!). By the time Monday evening rolled around and I'd walked the 10 mins to my hotel, I thought my feet were going to detach from my ankles and make a run for it. So instead of the nice dinner out I'd promised Dawn (which was NOT do-able with these feets) I asked if she would come to my hotel room so we could order pizza in bed. Very romantic! I'm not sure what was wrong with us, but we ate an entire medium pizza, the whole order of cinnastix and had to make a commercial-break trip to the vending machine for chocolate. The line of the night was "no judgement". No judgement!!!
Tuesday night was another delightful night with another delightful Dawn (coworker from previous job and simply wonderful lady). She was dear enough to find a restaurant between my office and hotel, so my feet didn't have to do too much extra walking! After 1 beer I was wasted and I can't even remember what we were talking about but I was laughing so hard I could hardly talk. Why I love DL! My brain was already into the garbled mush phase that accompanies too many interviews, so I was asleep within maybe 1 hour of the Biggest Loser ending last night.. what a loser I am! But it was a good solid 9 hours of sleep which I desperately needed. Packed up this morning, slipped my feet into my torture devices (now my big toenails were hurting and my little toes had turned entirely into blisters to match all the others decorating my feet), and repeated to myself "don't forget your coat, don't forget your coat". This was tricky because the 8C mornings and 17C afternoons were not exactly calling for my fall-weight new Danier leather coat with fur collar. Elevator down 6 floors. Check out. Walk outside. Think "hmm it's a bit nippy out here". Sigh. Turn around and ask the lady at the front desk if she can make me another room key.... urrrrgggghhhh........ Up 6 floors. Coat on. Good to go. My goodness.
The weather was so unbelievable - as I witnessed from the 6 cumulative minutes outside today. Too bad we didn't get to enjoy it a bit more, but hey we got some good candidates out of the process. One note about the interviews.. if someone is interviewing you and says "THIS IS A FUN QUESTION!" - get creative and have some fun! I asked my non-scientist husband the q: if he was the mascot at an invasive species event and he could dress up as any invasive species what would he be? After a moment of whining, he quickly described how he would create Dog-strangling Vine (my most hated) by maknig a dog costume then wrapping green vines around him and around his neck. I gave him full marks. I'll be PC and not say much more about some of the answers I heard to those questions, but I'll say that Jeff's was the best and I asked it 19 times in three days......... :S
All in all another silly but fun trip to TO. Montreal next week, so likely more Kristyn's-a-moron stories, maybe with a slight Quebecois accent this time! And hopefully more rebel birds - Pigeon Power!
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