Last week I launched a secret mission into a life free of added sugar. I was planning on starting said mission on Sunday, January 3, after New Years Eve and an all day bird count on the 2nd that I knew would leave me craving sweets at its end. However, after a night of gluttony on Sunday, January 27 and feeling like sheer hell upon waking on the Monday, I decided why not give it a whirl.
This was helped by the fact that I'd just polished off the book "Sweet Poison" and had recently started "Suicide by Sugar". There are some scary facts about sugar out there. What scared me the most:
- the hypoglycemia I have developed over the past several years and was formally diagnosed with in 2014 (before that, I just called it "hangry") is likely related to over-consumption of sugar; some people's pancreas under-produce insulin in the face of too much sugar (aka. high blood sugar/diabetes) - mine seem to overproduce it and suck too much sugar out of my blood, leaving me weak, shaky and feeling just downright sick. The idea here is less sugar = less insulin over-production = less hypoglycemic moments.
- our bodies don't have a mechanism for feeling "full" from fructose. Unlike fat or protein, where we have an enzyme/hormone system that clicks on to tell your body: "ok, stop, you're full!" there isn't one for fructose because in caveman days if you came across a berry patch you WERE supposed to gorge your face off. And our bodies, always looking out for our caveman selves, transform fructose in the liver directly to fat, to keep our cavemen selves warm. Or as it's known today, to expand a muffin top on a well-fed modern human...
- Big Sugar controls A LOT. There are so much politics involved in why sugar is everywhere, including places you didn't even want it (why does a pizza need added sugar? bread, cheese, toppings, crushed tomato - these things would be delicious without added g's of sugar - why is it there?!). Big Sugar does not want us to stop eating/loving big amounts of sugar, that's for sure - and I don't like someone contaminating the food supply for no reason other than $$!
- I am fully addicted to sugar and was consuming at least 20g of added sugar per day (on a "normal", "healthy" day - it was upwards of 75 - 100g on days when I was being less conscious of my food choices), in addition to sugars naturally occurring in my food (which were likely another 25 - 30g - or about the amount found in a couple of pieces of fruit and some dairy).
- Those pangs of hunger I felt/feel mid-morning are known as "toxic hunger" or "fructose withdrawal", and it's just my body/brain looking for my next hit of sugar. I used to jokingly define it to my coworkers as "false hunger", while scarfing another granola bar halfway through a morning in the field, wondering out loud how I could feel so hungry after a double bowl of oatmeal only 2 hours before. Now I know I was right and I wasn't really hungry - and that freaks me out
So here I am. It's DAY #10!!!!!! And I haven't had a drop of added sugar. This is largely thanks to my awesome supporters including Jeff, my mom, Dawn, my New Years crew, my co-sugar-quitter Aynsley, and my coworkers, who have all been just amazing! Thank you guys!!!!
A lot of the research I've done has recommended that a full sugar detox should include the removal of ALL sugar, including sugar from fruit (fructose) and sugar from milk (lactose) to completely eliminate the dependency on it. I hear that, but I have also thought about the fact that I WANT to have a diet where I'm excited to eat fruit! I also can't imagine how sad/itchy I'd be without fruit and dairy in my diet, even for just a few weeks! I don't know that I see the point in going through that withdrawal, only to end up reintroducing fruit back in. The idea is that to completely recalibrate your palate, you need to remove fruit. So far I haven't entirely found that to be true, I have had major changes to my palate and cravings with small amounts of fruit in my diet per day, so for now, fruit and yogurt stay!
What has made me the most pleasantly surprised:
- after 10 years of REQUIRING chocolate or other sweets after every single meal, I have had 16 lunches and dinners total in which I have not finished them off with 2 squares of dark chocolate, and most of the time, I don't even think about it
- 4 lbs melted off me in 4 days without even trying and I can now fit comfortably into most of my pants again - hoorah! I plateaued after that, but hey, I'll take it! I haven't been staying under any sort of caloric goal, and I haven't been exercising much because I feel like crap a little bit every day (I'll detail that a bit more below) so the weight loss is all due to the removal of sugar.
- when I saw a bag of marshmallows in the grocery store (which I used to keep in the cupboard between fire/roasting season and sneak from time to time when I needed a "hit") I physically flinched, my stomach clenched and I felt gross just thinking about eating them
- the smell of sugar in the grocery store no longer enchants me the way it used to (you know that smell by the bags of sugar in the baking aisle? oh man it used to get me) - now I have a neutral reaction to it: "that is the smell of sugar". I can also walk down the candy and cookie aisles with minimal interest in what's around me. I used to drool over those things while shopping!
- I have been forced to replace things in my diet and it has been pretty easy breezy. In my last post I wondered if I could ever enjoy gross, bland oatmeal without the sweetness of brown sugar. I am not sure I'm interested in eating plain oatmeal still but I have been mashing some raspberries or mixed berries into it each morning and truly enjoying the flavour - more and more each day, too. I lost the granola from my yogurt and replaced it with chia, pepitas, almonds, unsweetened coconut - and I adore it! I also sweeten the yogurt (thick, sour, Greek yogurt - it needs it!) with mashed berries, instead of jam or honey. It takes me a lot longer to eat it, but I enjoy it very much. No more balsamic reduction meant losing my beloved caprese salad, so without tomato salad and parfaits, my "go to" meals have had to become more savoury - and I'm really loving the whole foods I'm eating! Veggies and fruits are simply delicious. Cheeses and nut butters and my new comfort foods. Nuts are the most incredibly filling snack! Eat a handful pecans and see how long you stay full for - it's unreal. Sugared peanut butter is replaced with natural almond butter, which is possibly the nicest tasting thing in my house (and I've had almond butter before, and I did NOT feel about it the way I do now). And crunching on cacao nibs is WEIRD but oddly satisfying, especially knowing I'm getting all the antioxidants of chocolate without the sugar and with the added fibre, good fats and protein.
- comfort food comes in many forms - not just sweet. Heavily buttered, salty homemade popcorn on day #1 was a delicious dream come true!
- I can easily say "no" to desserts at social functions (had to do this 3x in the past 10 days), because I can't imagine going through withdrawal again. I'm not ready to add them back in (...yet? I'm not sure yet), and have no desire to (aside from those occasional moments of my brain screaming for them, like when I saw chocolate cake with white frosting in a movie the other night - my favourite - and didn't stop thinking about it for about 18 hours - weeeeird!)
What has been hard:
- Day #1 I felt absolutely desperate - like a caged animal. I tried to go out in a snowstorm to seek out satisfying sugar-free treats but decided I should let safety be a priority instead of my gnawing toxic hunger. Instead I made the popcorn I mentioned above :)
- Day #2 I got really really stupid and couldn't form sentences or find words I was looking for
- Day #1-3 I had a constant dull headache
- Every single day (up to and including yesterday) I have had one serious 30 minute crash between the hours of 2:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m., depending on when I woke up that day. I found putting my head down or lying down and sipping a cup of black tea with milk was helpful to get me through it. During the crashes, I felt nauseous, dizzy and completely sapped of energy.
- Day #4 I had some wild digestive issues, likely related to the onslaught of veggies and lentils in my diet. Usually I would calm my system with simple carbs, but as most were off the table and we had no bread, I had to keep eating cheese and veggies and fibre and fat an all the things that typically bug my stomach. I made it out alive, though.
- Day #7 I had insane cravings for cake that carried into Day #8. When I think about the cake, I can still feel pleasure centres lighting up in my brain. This is creepy
- Feeling like I'm "doing it wrong" by not cutting out fruit. I still crave sweetness, but find I am then more than satisfied by a serving of my saving grace Vanilla Almond Popcorn http://realfoodrealdeals.com/vanilla-almond-popcorn/ (sweetened with dates) or a piece of fruit. Is it a bad thing to still want sweets, eat them in their whole package with fibre and nutrients, and subsequently feel good??? It doesn't feel bad but I'm really confused.
- Feeling like I'm "doing it wrong" because I have largely been a functional human - exercising lightly, working, cleaning, laughing, birding. I was expecting it to be SO MUCH worse than this.
- So much cooking and food prep. My go to/easy grab meals and snacks which revolved around sweetened cereal, sweetened oatmeal and sweetened sauces are all out, so I am doing a lot of chopping of fruits and veggies, cooking grains and starches (which take forever!!!!), preparing big batches of foods for easy meals and bringing seemingly 3,000 calories of snacks with me to work to ensure I make it through the day (I bring most of them home, but I'm always so worried I'll wig out at the office that I can't go in without my lunch bag brimming over with a million tiny tupperwares)
- When I explain it to people and they feel like I'm somehow judging their habits or there is an expectation that they do this as well. Absolutely untrue! Everyone's journey is their own. Frankly, I don't care what you do as long as you don't wave cookies in my face while I'm trying to quit sugar :) And of course if you are interested in taking the journey, I'm happy to be your "sponsor"!
- Feeling a little bit crappy in unpredictable intervals every day. Blargh!
So. I'm going to keep taking it day by day, and keep thinking about what I eventually want to do with this sugar-free me, and if I should consider a total ban of ALL sugar from all sources until I stop craving it. Currently, I feel like a pile of garbage (may be related to bad sleep, possibly to withdrawal which I've heard can last 3 days or 6 weeks.. oh god..), so I'm going to sign off. Sorry this blog post isn't more entertaining with fun pictures like the last one. I liken it's blandness to being an homage to the blandness of my morning oatmeal.... ;) Kidding, kidding.......
Wednesday, 6 January 2016
Wednesday, 16 December 2015
Sugar
"Hi, my name is Kristyn. And I'm addicted to sugar."
"I could quit if I wanted to!!"
"I only need a little bit every day, then I'm good."
"There are worse things I could be addicted to: cigarettes, drugs."
Yup. Those are things I've been saying for a long time. Several years ago I realized I had a true physical addiction to sugar when I tried to stop eating refined sugar for a week. I lasted about 4 of the most miserable days I've ever had (and the most miserable days Jeff has ever had) because I was so incredibly grumpy, cranky, and irritated. I can remember eating a bowl of strawberries (the least satisfying strawberries have ever been, probably) after dinner one night and glaring at him for no reason, and the look of fear on his face. I didn't realize at the time exactly what was happening, but I was going through withdrawal.
Disclaimer - I understand this sounds a little #firstworldproblems to be complaining about sugar addiction (poor me with this abundance of sweets available to me), but it is actually way more serious than I realized now that I've been looking into it a bit further. Disclaimer 2 - I'm in the early days of my research, so sharing only my limited understanding of this issue.
Refined white sugar was never a key part of a human diet - only showing up about 200 years ago. Our bodies are equipped to deal with the breakdown of a small amount of a wide variety of natural sugars (e.g. fructose in fruit, lactose in milk, honey (pillaged from bees)), and have absolutely no idea what to do with the deluge of sucrose, fructose, maltose, etc. being barraged at us daily. I have read some disgusting statistics about average folks eating 50 kg of sugar per year. EWWWW!!! That's crazy!
Sugar can be found in nature, for sure. But the processing required to distill out a highly concentrated portion of a plant is comparable to how they get cocaine out of the coca plant. And in the end: a fine white powder that in both cases alights the senses and leaves people craving more, in an endless cycle. The damage done to our bodies by both is, sure, minimal each time, but over time can launch a cumulative assault that can eventually be deadly.
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| Where sugar comes from: sugar cane and sugar beet |
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| Where cocaine comes from: coca plant |
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| This seems like a reasonable amount of cookies, no? |
It's embarrassing too. Agh, that's hard to admit. I've always done such a great job of owning and loving that I'm a sweet person, not a salty one, that sugar satisfies me like nothing else can, and that I just adore it. But honestly, when you've been with me in public and I've ordered that massive dessert in a restaurant, or eaten one too many cookies from the platter that were supposed to be for everyone, trust me, it's embarassing. Because, like a drug addict, I really don't have control over my actions, which is mortifying. I'm an autonomous adult - why can't I control what I put in my mouth!?!!! I recognize it's not like I'm alone in this in the world, and obviously I have SOME control over what I put in my mouth otherwise I'd be 400 lbs. But I'm tired of letting my urges and instincts control me. I want to be controlled by rational thought - wouldn't that be nice!!
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| Again, this seems like a reasonable quantity of chocolate cake... |
I sometimes stand in front of the chocolate bars at a convenience store and can't believe this is allowed in this world. Probably how a trying-to-quit smoker feels staring at the wall of cigarettes, or an alcoholic in the LCBO. "Why is (insert name of massive corporation producing product) allowed to make this largely unhealthy product, and tempt us like this? Don't they know they're actually killing some of us with these offerings?!" But of course it's not "their" fault. It's our inability to control our impulses. I would do very well in a temptation free world, though. Honestly, I would. I'd nibble on my dark chocolate daily and get by. This is what I do in the controlled environment of my home. But the second there is a dish of candy or plate of cookies on the kitchen table at work, it's a constant struggle to stay out of them - every single time I walk past them, they call my name. If I make the mistake of picking up the "healthy" ice cream sandwiches at the grocery store, I spend a lot of time at home convincing myself why I shouldn't have more than 2 a day, and often finish that train of thought licking my fingers from the third one. If I'm at a social event, all bets are off. If the sweet stuff is near me, I am in the sweet stuff. Back and forth between my seat and the sweet stuff like a wasp at a BBQ in August. If only temptation wasn't there, this would be SO MUCH easier. But it is there, and I certainly don't want to stop seeing my friends and family, or going to work for that matter, so I need to figure out some workarounds.
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| Temptation, thy name is a convenience store |
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To my girls, who won't be surprised, but may feel sad for me: I ate the whole box of Katie's Christmas chocolates in one sitting. I was SO SAD afterwards. I did that thing I do, where I feel stressed, because I wasn't feeling well (massive headache), and then I ate all the chocolates in an effort to "feel better" (sidenote: Kate, they were delicious!). I emerged from a chocolate haze wondering who I was, and what the heck I was doing. To the masses - can you imagine eating 7 truffles in a row, essentially chain-smoking truffles??? Most people likely wouldn't be able to stomach it. My former coworker would have lost her mind! I, however, took it like a champ. That kind of sugar binge is no big deal for me - my body can handle it. And that's a bit scary.
That brings me back to gut flora (ah gut flora - it's exactly what you wanted to be thinking about, right?). After some chats with a coworker over my squares of dark chocolate after lunch the other day, I was floating my musings about quitting sugar, and she was telling me about new research she'd read regarding the differences in gut microbiota (the lil guys that live in all our guts that help us extract nutrients from our food and digest away) between sugar eaters and non-sugar eaters, between obese people and thin people, and how it can take a concerted effort to really change the make-up of who's hanging out in your insides. If I starve the refined-sugar loving gut bacteria, they are going to wig out and send me lots of cues - cravings for sugar, headaches, dizziness... but eventually they're going to starve, not be able to reproduce, and start to die off. The plan is that I'd be concurrently feeding some of the good guys down there (I do occasionally eat vegetables..) and encouraging them to reproduce and take up some of the real estate of the baddies, and eventually all I'll hear from my lower half is: "dang girl, get me a salad!" (wouldn't that be nice. :))
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| You almost thought it was a picture of Goodies licorice candy, but instead it was gut bacteria... |
I don't know that I don't ever want to bake again. My granny's chocolate chip cookie recipe is a legacy!
I don't know that I don't ever want an ice cream after a long hot day in the field again.
I don't know that I want chia seeds on my daily yogurt instead of granola.
I don't know if I could ever enjoy my morning oatmeal without the teaspoon of brown sugar.
I don't know if I can resist the social pressure of people foisting sugar on me; noting that this IS the world we live in. Dessert comes after dinner!
However.
I don't know if I want to ravage my body with this drug anymore.
I don't know if I want to die years earlier from the damage I've done to myself by eating so much sugar all the time.
I don't know if I want to develop type II diabetes when my body eventually gives up the good fight and can't regulate my insulin anymore.
I just don't know if I want to be ruled by something OTHER than my rational brain anymore.
To be continued....
Thursday, 5 November 2015
Manifesto
Hello! I feel so sad that I went three months without posting anything - but I have an excuse for my general blogger lameness over the summer - in late May I started what I was jokingly referring to as "My Manifesto"... which I ended up naming "Manifesto"!! This is basically a collection of short, blog-like entries about how I wanted to live my life, places to improve, places I was doing well, aspirations, goals, regrets, you name it. It's probably where this blog has been leading me for some time now. I once started typing here as a place to tell silly stories and hopefully make some people smile/laugh, but it was so therapeutic getting my thoughts out that I started working out some serious issues in this medium, and it's been immensely helpful over the years (http://www.sincerelygoofy.blogspot.ca/2013/11/the-need-to-be-liked.html, http://www.sincerelygoofy.blogspot.ca/2014/06/green-grass.html)
So culminating in one big 5 month spew of thoughts onto paper, covering a huge variety of topics from buying a cottage to managing finances to exercise to eating healthily to friendships to being childfree to nature to my career to living life with purpose - you name it, I contemplated it. I read about AA one time (concerned for a friend - I still can't handle more than 3 drinks even if I wanted to #lightweightforlife) and it always stuck with me that a key first step on the road to recovery was to do a searching, brutally honest, self inventory where you basically lay out the contents of your head/soul and get really real with yourself about areas that need improvement, as well as just the honest clutter of truths that are feelings that live within you. I pictured my manifesto as a tidy black and white notebook with my brain sprinkled across all the pages! :D
It was easy to get off track and wind up on crazy tangents. I also made a lot of jokes - I think it's kind of funny that I'm just trying make myself laugh since I will never let anyone read my Soul Inventory! But the most important thing I did was create "I will" statements throughout each entry and put a big star in a circle beside them. "I will work out 3x/week". It's a level of exercise that's manageable for me - I've tried 5-6 days; I've tried once a week; I've tried weekend warrior, I've tried consecutive months of inactivity...eep - I know from many years of testing that 3x/week is achievable, doable and beneficial. So it's in. Big star in a circle. Done. "I will prioritize alone time". Why I have to keep learning the lesson that I fall apart when my schedule is too booked and I overdo it with social obligations is beyond me, but I'm hoping this big star in a circle next to permission to let myself be quietly alone when I can tell I need it (or even BEFORE I need it) will be the last time I need that lesson 'taught'. "I will focus on paying off the car by the end of 2016" - it re-centered me to focus on debt repayment and away from thinking of other things to do with $ that aren't a priority right now (e.g. saving for a cottage I'll likely never work up the nerve/savings to buy :D). You get the picture - lots of "to do"s and I respond very well to to do lists.
Issue - those big stars in circles were scattered across 100+ pages of writing and I would pick up the book on and off all summer long and add to chapters as it suited me - how do you keep track of all those "to do"s!? So I decided an appropriate birthday present to myself would be to consolidate my list of action items, provide a bit of a status update for myself (pat on the back! or: get down to business, lady!) and have the list handy for reference as I move on from the first third of my life into the second third. Three is my lucky number, so turning 33 on November 3 and contemplating my 1/3-life crisis felt just like the right thing to do. There is no wrong time to take an inventory of your life and aim it in the right direction - not saying that path will always be walked in a very straight line, but at least it's nice to check in and make sure you're still heading where you want to go, being the person you want to be.
My BFF's fiance Dan really took to my chapter "Time" where I figured out what was a valuable and not so valuable way to spend time, so I thought I'd share my ridiculous list if it might be helpful for anyone else (you will likely need to replace things like "reality tv" and "facebook" with your own personal vices, should you wish to adopt this way of thinking ;)). Dan and I had a real moment when we were canoeing (with Dawn and Jeff - I'm not just sweeping Dan away on nature adventures) last summer when we realized we were completing four Category A activities at once (spending time in nature, meaningful interactions with people we care about, exercise AND relaxation!).
Ok so the rough breakdown here is a goal to spend 75% of time on Category A activities; 20% of time on Category B activities and < 5% of time on Category C activities. Since this careful mathematical formula was contrived while I was exhausted after fieldwork one night, high on lake views and caffeine, and plain drunk on manifesto-ing, you'll understand it's highly flexible/adaptable! Inevitable and not included on the list are sleeping, working and bathing. lol.
Category A (i.e. What I Consider Worthwhile Ways to Spend My Time)
- exercise (light or heavy)
- cooking and consuming healthy/delicious meals
- learning (reading non-fiction, watching docs, taking courses, etc.)
- pursuing hobbies/interests
- financial planning (Nov 5 2015 ed: that is so lame)
- nature appreciation
- relaxation (reading; campfires; country drives, etc.)
- writing*
- acts of generosity (helping friends/family in need, volunteering)
- meaningful interactions with people I care about
Category B (i.e. What I Consider Borderline Worthwhile Ways to Spend My Time)
- watching m'stories (I didn't write that.. watching TV is what is says - it also then says "I love my shows - Bachelor, Biggest Loser, Downton Abbey, Grey's and How to Get Away with Murder; I like a good hockey game" - poor Leafs, can't get no respect even in the off season)
- spending time on my appearance (hair, clothes, makeup)
- thinking about work/catching up on work outside of work hours
- housework/grocery shopping
- napping (often a necessary evil)
Category C (i.e. What I Consider Poor Uses of Time)
- worrying
- watching mindless TV - anything outside "my shows" or hockey; may be bumped to Category A if I'm snuggling with Jeff - non-touching TV time doesn't count :)
- interactions with people who bring me down
- browsing facebook/the internet
* truth: the reason I am in here writing a blog entry tonight is because tonight was risking turning into a big old Category C of watching mindless TV alone if I didn't move my butt off the couch!
I still think the categories need some work, but it's interesting how much of my life actually slots into those groups! I have never once quantified my time according to percentages, but I am certainly aware when I've been lingering on the Book of Face for too long and it's time to get moving, and I grumble about housework but recognize it's ok - a good thing to do, a necessary evil, and I feel really extra great and special when I combine things I love like when I sat under the willow tree in our backyard the other day that was raining yellow leaves all over me and my manifesto, and I wrote, and enjoyed nature and petted Bailey and kissed Jeff and thought: all is well in this Category A world! Category C's last point spawned a massive tangent about my love-hate relationship that is social media. Definite Essena O'Neill moment of feeling how hollow it can all be. I hate to see people "curating" an image, that isn't reflective of real life. I hate when I catch myself in an overly exuberant sharing moment and think: "what if you just made someone struggling with the opposite end of this issue feel like crap?". For awhile now I've been trying to balance posts - negative with positive. That's life, isn't it? I just want to be more authentic. And if I/others can't be, well then I'll be spending even less time on that Category C activity in the future and - I dunno - doing yoga while working in a soup kitchen outdoors in nature balancing my budget in an Excel sheet on a laptop? ;) Hey, a girl can dream.
My manifesto landed me with a BIG to do list. But I feel confident seeing it all laid out - the person I want to stop being, the one I want to continue to be and the one I would like to grow to be. I like having a path, goals, a plan, and, really, dreams. I was very excited to learn last week that my good friend Erica is walking a parallel road beside me, waving to me with one hand and a self-help book in the other. Who knows why some of us weirdos become so deeply interested in self-improvement?? I was suspecting that I was becoming so introspective because this is typically what happens to people in their 40s once their kids are more independent and I was just getting there 10-15 years early because I'm childfree. But Erica, whilst walking this path, amazingly, has three kids attached to her!! :) It was nice to know I wasn't alone out there in the woods (while lifting weights and blogging and sauteeing veggies.. haha..)
On my radar this week:
- breaking habit loops associated with stress eating
- reducing sugar and increasing whole foods
- generosity (charity curling tournament here we come!)
I realize I've been writing a lot of the same things again and again over the years - sometimes I forget I've written them before and am surprised they're not new ideas. Life is just a lot to process - and it's really helpful to have a place to come to to lay out the contents of my brain and make sure everything's still in fairly good working order. :) Cheers to blogs and manifestos, and patience of the people I love to support me on my many varied, dissected, analyzed and beloved journeys. :)
So culminating in one big 5 month spew of thoughts onto paper, covering a huge variety of topics from buying a cottage to managing finances to exercise to eating healthily to friendships to being childfree to nature to my career to living life with purpose - you name it, I contemplated it. I read about AA one time (concerned for a friend - I still can't handle more than 3 drinks even if I wanted to #lightweightforlife) and it always stuck with me that a key first step on the road to recovery was to do a searching, brutally honest, self inventory where you basically lay out the contents of your head/soul and get really real with yourself about areas that need improvement, as well as just the honest clutter of truths that are feelings that live within you. I pictured my manifesto as a tidy black and white notebook with my brain sprinkled across all the pages! :D
It was easy to get off track and wind up on crazy tangents. I also made a lot of jokes - I think it's kind of funny that I'm just trying make myself laugh since I will never let anyone read my Soul Inventory! But the most important thing I did was create "I will" statements throughout each entry and put a big star in a circle beside them. "I will work out 3x/week". It's a level of exercise that's manageable for me - I've tried 5-6 days; I've tried once a week; I've tried weekend warrior, I've tried consecutive months of inactivity...eep - I know from many years of testing that 3x/week is achievable, doable and beneficial. So it's in. Big star in a circle. Done. "I will prioritize alone time". Why I have to keep learning the lesson that I fall apart when my schedule is too booked and I overdo it with social obligations is beyond me, but I'm hoping this big star in a circle next to permission to let myself be quietly alone when I can tell I need it (or even BEFORE I need it) will be the last time I need that lesson 'taught'. "I will focus on paying off the car by the end of 2016" - it re-centered me to focus on debt repayment and away from thinking of other things to do with $ that aren't a priority right now (e.g. saving for a cottage I'll likely never work up the nerve/savings to buy :D). You get the picture - lots of "to do"s and I respond very well to to do lists.
Issue - those big stars in circles were scattered across 100+ pages of writing and I would pick up the book on and off all summer long and add to chapters as it suited me - how do you keep track of all those "to do"s!? So I decided an appropriate birthday present to myself would be to consolidate my list of action items, provide a bit of a status update for myself (pat on the back! or: get down to business, lady!) and have the list handy for reference as I move on from the first third of my life into the second third. Three is my lucky number, so turning 33 on November 3 and contemplating my 1/3-life crisis felt just like the right thing to do. There is no wrong time to take an inventory of your life and aim it in the right direction - not saying that path will always be walked in a very straight line, but at least it's nice to check in and make sure you're still heading where you want to go, being the person you want to be.
My BFF's fiance Dan really took to my chapter "Time" where I figured out what was a valuable and not so valuable way to spend time, so I thought I'd share my ridiculous list if it might be helpful for anyone else (you will likely need to replace things like "reality tv" and "facebook" with your own personal vices, should you wish to adopt this way of thinking ;)). Dan and I had a real moment when we were canoeing (with Dawn and Jeff - I'm not just sweeping Dan away on nature adventures) last summer when we realized we were completing four Category A activities at once (spending time in nature, meaningful interactions with people we care about, exercise AND relaxation!).
Ok so the rough breakdown here is a goal to spend 75% of time on Category A activities; 20% of time on Category B activities and < 5% of time on Category C activities. Since this careful mathematical formula was contrived while I was exhausted after fieldwork one night, high on lake views and caffeine, and plain drunk on manifesto-ing, you'll understand it's highly flexible/adaptable! Inevitable and not included on the list are sleeping, working and bathing. lol.
Category A (i.e. What I Consider Worthwhile Ways to Spend My Time)
- exercise (light or heavy)
- cooking and consuming healthy/delicious meals
- learning (reading non-fiction, watching docs, taking courses, etc.)
- pursuing hobbies/interests
- financial planning (Nov 5 2015 ed: that is so lame)
- nature appreciation
- relaxation (reading; campfires; country drives, etc.)
- writing*
- acts of generosity (helping friends/family in need, volunteering)
- meaningful interactions with people I care about
Category B (i.e. What I Consider Borderline Worthwhile Ways to Spend My Time)
- watching m'stories (I didn't write that.. watching TV is what is says - it also then says "I love my shows - Bachelor, Biggest Loser, Downton Abbey, Grey's and How to Get Away with Murder; I like a good hockey game" - poor Leafs, can't get no respect even in the off season)
- spending time on my appearance (hair, clothes, makeup)
- thinking about work/catching up on work outside of work hours
- housework/grocery shopping
- napping (often a necessary evil)
Category C (i.e. What I Consider Poor Uses of Time)
- worrying
- watching mindless TV - anything outside "my shows" or hockey; may be bumped to Category A if I'm snuggling with Jeff - non-touching TV time doesn't count :)
- interactions with people who bring me down
- browsing facebook/the internet
* truth: the reason I am in here writing a blog entry tonight is because tonight was risking turning into a big old Category C of watching mindless TV alone if I didn't move my butt off the couch!
I still think the categories need some work, but it's interesting how much of my life actually slots into those groups! I have never once quantified my time according to percentages, but I am certainly aware when I've been lingering on the Book of Face for too long and it's time to get moving, and I grumble about housework but recognize it's ok - a good thing to do, a necessary evil, and I feel really extra great and special when I combine things I love like when I sat under the willow tree in our backyard the other day that was raining yellow leaves all over me and my manifesto, and I wrote, and enjoyed nature and petted Bailey and kissed Jeff and thought: all is well in this Category A world! Category C's last point spawned a massive tangent about my love-hate relationship that is social media. Definite Essena O'Neill moment of feeling how hollow it can all be. I hate to see people "curating" an image, that isn't reflective of real life. I hate when I catch myself in an overly exuberant sharing moment and think: "what if you just made someone struggling with the opposite end of this issue feel like crap?". For awhile now I've been trying to balance posts - negative with positive. That's life, isn't it? I just want to be more authentic. And if I/others can't be, well then I'll be spending even less time on that Category C activity in the future and - I dunno - doing yoga while working in a soup kitchen outdoors in nature balancing my budget in an Excel sheet on a laptop? ;) Hey, a girl can dream.
My manifesto landed me with a BIG to do list. But I feel confident seeing it all laid out - the person I want to stop being, the one I want to continue to be and the one I would like to grow to be. I like having a path, goals, a plan, and, really, dreams. I was very excited to learn last week that my good friend Erica is walking a parallel road beside me, waving to me with one hand and a self-help book in the other. Who knows why some of us weirdos become so deeply interested in self-improvement?? I was suspecting that I was becoming so introspective because this is typically what happens to people in their 40s once their kids are more independent and I was just getting there 10-15 years early because I'm childfree. But Erica, whilst walking this path, amazingly, has three kids attached to her!! :) It was nice to know I wasn't alone out there in the woods (while lifting weights and blogging and sauteeing veggies.. haha..)
On my radar this week:
- breaking habit loops associated with stress eating
- reducing sugar and increasing whole foods
- generosity (charity curling tournament here we come!)
I realize I've been writing a lot of the same things again and again over the years - sometimes I forget I've written them before and am surprised they're not new ideas. Life is just a lot to process - and it's really helpful to have a place to come to to lay out the contents of my brain and make sure everything's still in fairly good working order. :) Cheers to blogs and manifestos, and patience of the people I love to support me on my many varied, dissected, analyzed and beloved journeys. :)
Tuesday, 4 August 2015
French River Fun
What a super weekend backcountry camping in French River Provincial Park with my hubby Jeff and a few of my faves - Viv, Kristy and Evan. I have to admit, I was nervous going in! My last experience canoe camping was when I was 10-12, for three summers in a row at Camp Pinecrest, forced on a 5 day, 4 night canoe trip where we paddled what felt like hundreds of kms, shoved 5 people into a 4 person tent (one person slept at the feet of the other girls) and were allowed to bring a stuff sack with a sleeping bag and one change of clothes to be used as a pillow. There was a trowel involved, and dehydration occurred frequently.. there were leeches, and crazed raccoons rattling the walls of our tents at night, and one time we came up unexpectedly on some rapids and nearly went down them in our canoes - picture three screaming 10 year old girls trying to steer a canoe out of that situation. These memories are burned deeply.. and as such I only started camping again when I was ~23 and since then only car camping where escape was easy and I could always bring a fluffy queen sized air mattress ;) However.. as a lover of nature.. solitude.. campfires.. relaxing.. canoeing... it seemed that there might be a hole in my life that the rest of the world's been experiencing that I've been studiously ignoring. I was still wigged out about rapids (fear made worse by being dunked/stuck under raft on Ottawa River last year!).. portaging (blame my crappy back).. sleeping on an airpad barely the width of me.. wearing filthy clothes.. no toilets... but I flung myself out of my comfort zone and down the French River (the very same river of 1993 rapids trauma) this August long weekend. Luckily I had two very experienced and awesome guides - Kristy and Evan, backcountry campers extraordinaire, instructed to remake some memories for me, and my very strong hubby who is more like a mule or workhorse of some sort.. so I had a feeling all was going to be ok!
I just wanted to do a short replay about the weekend and why it was so lovely. Short because I'm still super tired! I had trouble falling asleep last night, perhaps missing my 18" wide self-inflating airpad and collapsible camping pillow filled with chunks of foam, or the sleeping bag cover filled with clothing I used as a body pillow :P So I am still pooped today.. but happy pooped!
We paddled 10 km downstream on the French River out of (roughly) the Walmsley Bay area. I say roughly because the lodge we booked with totally didn't write down Evan's reservation and therefore no canoes were waiting for us and all canoes were gone for the weekend. The very German lodge owner in the jean shorts, bald spot/ponytail combo and apologetic smile told us "Harold made a boo boo" and offered us a motorboat instead. I will never forget Kristy's face when she heard that suggestion - pure disgust! Luckily Harold fixed the boo boo by setting us up with canoes at a lodge down the road, which was a relief. He told the other lodge owner on the phone that he was sending down "Evan Uge" - she promptly asked when we arrived: "how do you spell your last name, Evan??" "It's Hughes...". (amazing)
We portaged around three sets of rapids - each one reminding me of my childhood fear of the feeling of the river pulling me down. Jeff and Evan braved the second set in their canoes - first canoe down: success! Second canoe down:
Viv yelled to Evan: "are you alright?" and he yelled "noooooooo!!!" as his sunglasses began to float away from him. He realized later it was a misleading answer (they were fine minus some scratches) and he luckily managed to snatch his shades out of the water before they were lost forever!
We scored gold with only the second campsite we checked out - on a point of land around a bend in the river, with not another soul on it (even though there was another campsite around the back side! we basically had a double wide site) and the nicest view in probably the entire world! :)
We set up camp and ate gourmet meals (check out this salmon fanciness below!), read, relaxed and shared drinks and laughs around the campfire.
The weather was super cooperative Saturday, Sunday morning and Monday, with just a snag on Sunday when it rained on and off through the afternoon and evening. We passed the time under ponchos and our (mostly) trusty tarp, drinking baileys and hot chocolate, and watching 2 beavers feed and rest on the shore near our site. No bears ate our food, or us. No one killed themselves playing in the rapids at the back of our site on Sunday (I wimped out from going down.. figured why potentially ruin a good thing! :)). We all fell in the water while completing benign tasks like washing dishes or our faces, including Muggins who is a dog, at least 1-2 times after it rained and the lichens absorbed the rainwater and made everything quite treacherous. We swam, skinny dipped, read good (everyone else) and trashy (me.. Dan Brown :)) novels, napped, shared our hatred for mispronounced words like "warsh" instead of "wash" and "malk" instead of "milk". We reminisced over ridiculous memories from our 10+ years of friendship, talked about our theories on life, politics, got super politically incorrect for an irretrievable 20ish minutes that I'm STILL laughing about, and ate a LOT of food. Every time there was a slight relent in feeling full, I'd reach for something else to eat. Nice job on the food Cap'n and Mrs. Camping!!!
The sun blazed out just in time for our departure on Monday morning and we paddled back under perfect skies with puffy clouds.
Overall, backcountry camping has been redeemed! I perhaps took Evan's suggestion to pack lightly a little too seriously (all my wordly possessions in my field backpack - 30L) and may bring a few more creature comforts along next time. My bum was definitely sore from sitting on lifejackets, bare granite or a wooden bench that Evan carved to the perfect slope which I promptly sat on and split in half. He tried to make me feel better by reminding me that the wood was rotten and full of termites and grubs.. I appreciate the effort. So next time - a seat pad, a hammock.. and possibly an investment in a proper thermarest and maybe ONE extra inflatable pillow. Other than that, it was essentially outdoor, silent, solitude, gorgeous Canadian Shield and White Pine paradise, with canoeing, swimming, reading, napping and nonstop eating and laughing all thrown in for good measure!
The wildlife was amazing too - a mink swam past our canoe and shot a dirty look back at us, we watched beavers living their beavery life, saw a bald eagle soaring over the treetops, a family of waddling mergansers scurrying off a rock and woke up to the sounds of "oh sweet canada canada canada" from a white-throated sparrow each morning, and ended the day to the flutey call of a thrush at night.
I don't quite know why it took me so long to get back out there.. but I can't wait to do it again!
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| Mrs. & Cap'n Camping |
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| My husband, the mule, frequently seen carrying 2 60L backpacks - one on front, one on back! |
We paddled 10 km downstream on the French River out of (roughly) the Walmsley Bay area. I say roughly because the lodge we booked with totally didn't write down Evan's reservation and therefore no canoes were waiting for us and all canoes were gone for the weekend. The very German lodge owner in the jean shorts, bald spot/ponytail combo and apologetic smile told us "Harold made a boo boo" and offered us a motorboat instead. I will never forget Kristy's face when she heard that suggestion - pure disgust! Luckily Harold fixed the boo boo by setting us up with canoes at a lodge down the road, which was a relief. He told the other lodge owner on the phone that he was sending down "Evan Uge" - she promptly asked when we arrived: "how do you spell your last name, Evan??" "It's Hughes...". (amazing)
We portaged around three sets of rapids - each one reminding me of my childhood fear of the feeling of the river pulling me down. Jeff and Evan braved the second set in their canoes - first canoe down: success! Second canoe down:
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We scored gold with only the second campsite we checked out - on a point of land around a bend in the river, with not another soul on it (even though there was another campsite around the back side! we basically had a double wide site) and the nicest view in probably the entire world! :)
We set up camp and ate gourmet meals (check out this salmon fanciness below!), read, relaxed and shared drinks and laughs around the campfire.
The weather was super cooperative Saturday, Sunday morning and Monday, with just a snag on Sunday when it rained on and off through the afternoon and evening. We passed the time under ponchos and our (mostly) trusty tarp, drinking baileys and hot chocolate, and watching 2 beavers feed and rest on the shore near our site. No bears ate our food, or us. No one killed themselves playing in the rapids at the back of our site on Sunday (I wimped out from going down.. figured why potentially ruin a good thing! :)). We all fell in the water while completing benign tasks like washing dishes or our faces, including Muggins who is a dog, at least 1-2 times after it rained and the lichens absorbed the rainwater and made everything quite treacherous. We swam, skinny dipped, read good (everyone else) and trashy (me.. Dan Brown :)) novels, napped, shared our hatred for mispronounced words like "warsh" instead of "wash" and "malk" instead of "milk". We reminisced over ridiculous memories from our 10+ years of friendship, talked about our theories on life, politics, got super politically incorrect for an irretrievable 20ish minutes that I'm STILL laughing about, and ate a LOT of food. Every time there was a slight relent in feeling full, I'd reach for something else to eat. Nice job on the food Cap'n and Mrs. Camping!!!
The sun blazed out just in time for our departure on Monday morning and we paddled back under perfect skies with puffy clouds.
Overall, backcountry camping has been redeemed! I perhaps took Evan's suggestion to pack lightly a little too seriously (all my wordly possessions in my field backpack - 30L) and may bring a few more creature comforts along next time. My bum was definitely sore from sitting on lifejackets, bare granite or a wooden bench that Evan carved to the perfect slope which I promptly sat on and split in half. He tried to make me feel better by reminding me that the wood was rotten and full of termites and grubs.. I appreciate the effort. So next time - a seat pad, a hammock.. and possibly an investment in a proper thermarest and maybe ONE extra inflatable pillow. Other than that, it was essentially outdoor, silent, solitude, gorgeous Canadian Shield and White Pine paradise, with canoeing, swimming, reading, napping and nonstop eating and laughing all thrown in for good measure!
The wildlife was amazing too - a mink swam past our canoe and shot a dirty look back at us, we watched beavers living their beavery life, saw a bald eagle soaring over the treetops, a family of waddling mergansers scurrying off a rock and woke up to the sounds of "oh sweet canada canada canada" from a white-throated sparrow each morning, and ended the day to the flutey call of a thrush at night.
I don't quite know why it took me so long to get back out there.. but I can't wait to do it again!
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| 3 man canoe! Jeff, Kristyn, Viv |
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| Homeward bound - Kristy and Kristyn |
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| Fresh clothes and hot lunch at the lodge that saved the day with spare canoes! |
Sunday, 24 May 2015
Bananas
I frequently describe things in my life as "bananas". The past two weeks have been the most bananas of all time. I will now attempt to describe them with minimal exaggeration to provide maximum jaw-dropping entertainment of how one person can end up in so many ridiculous situations... and still come out smiling... I think? ;)
On Tuesday, May 12 I travelled up to a favourite property for an annual monitoring visit - "to Georgian Bay!" is always one of my favourite things to say! It was a cold, cloudy, windy evening but we trekked out by boat to this water access only property near Pointe au Baril to monitor for reptiles, frogs, birds, spring plants and really anything we could find. I've only been to this property in late summer/fall before, so this was going to be a new and wonderful time of year to see this lovely place. Two minutes in: bear scat. A minute later: rocks flipped by bears. This is nothing new - bears are present on almost every property I work on and I have never seen one to date. I've had vague hopes of seeing one - from far, far away, as it disappears into the forest of course. However, on this 10 acre parcel of land with a water taxi being the only way off, I would be more than pleased if the bears kept their furry distance. Deep forest adjacent to a giant conservation reserve and barely any cottages feels a bit more like me barging in on Winnie's home than some of the other places with roads and trails that I frequent. As we listened for frogs and flipped logs for salamanders and kept our eyes peeled for new and interesting plant species I noticed my assistant and I were being MUCH quieter than we usually are - we were listening! I have a theory that I never see bears because I never stop talking and they know easily to keep their distance from that noisy girl. So on the bear-iest property, we were the quietest we'd ever been - probably not the wisest - and luckily were standing right next to each other when I scanned around and locked eyes with a black bear. He was on all fours, on the small-ish side in terms of weight but as tall as my hip. I can still hear my own voice, quietly, with much fear masked: "Laura, there's a bear."
Laura sweetly reached for my hand as if to pull me away. I said "get the bear spray out of my bag". Once I had it in hand, our training on how to handle bear encounters kicked in and we started being BIG and LOUD to frighten the bear away. Bears are generally not interested in eating humans (it would be like a semi-vegetarian suddenly grilling up a huge steak - quite odd and unlikely) and they tend to be not interested in meeting/tussling with us. Exceptions include predatory bears (like the one in Cochrane that broke in and dragged a guy out of his house - http://www.thesudburystar.com/2013/05/11/women-fight-off-bear-attacking-a-man), mama bears (protecting cubs) or bears that are startled/threatened. This bear made a motion as if to bound away when we yelled, but slyly looked back over his shoulder which prompted us to decide to get the HECK out of there. Laura reminded me not to run (WOW what a powerful urge it was to run!) and we walked swiftly away. We heard a Broad-winged Hawk calling and decided "we won't let this bear ruin our day!" and Laura began pulling out her binoculars to look for it. Her hands were shaking. My knees were shaking, almost knocking together like in a cartoon. Then I spotted the bear again - he was coming at us from a different direction, and not slowly either. Laura stuffed the bins back in her bag and we proceeded to yell and shout and wave our arms to scare it away. I yelled things that now seem so ridiculous: "Kristyn and Laura are VERY SCARY!" "Do not mess with us! We are tough!!!" "Get OUTTA HERE, BEAR!". You could hear the fury and then the disappointment in our raised voices as we realized this bear was not pausing in his pursuit towards us and we realized nature was breaking its deal with us - we take good care of nature where I work; nature is supposed to take care of us. At that point we didn't see another option except a hasty retreat back to the shoreline. We stood, basically vibrating we were shaking so hard, on the rocky shoreline, staring back into the forest where we'd left, and hopefully left the bear. Laura was holding a giant stick. We didn't take our eyes off the trail into the forest as we called the water taxi to pick us up 2 hours early (thank goodness for cell service in the middle of nowhere!). A bird landed on Laura's shoulder during these moments, which is hilarious to think back on because it's always my dream to have birds land on us in the field and it's never once happened. We were a little too shattered to enjoy it properly, though! After much cheesy lasagna, sharing the story with everyone we could talk to, and a good long hug, we were feeling a bit better. After much research and discussion, I now understand that the bear was young, curious, hungry and smelled the food we had in our backpacks and decided to "investigate" and possibly try to share our dinners. It's tough going in early spring finding food if you're a black bear. I still don't forgive him. We will not be back to this property until well after the berry crop is out this season, and will be bringing at least 2 other staff people, that's for sure. I'm glad I didn't have to use the bear spray, or poke the bear in the eyes fighting for my life - I am grateful - but it took many days before the flashbacks went away and I felt normal again: "Laura, there's a bear".
We actually had a stellar next day on Georgian Bay near Sans Souci. 72 acres, 1 bear scat, no bear sightings - phew! The following day I was down in Norfolk county, where bears are non-existent and I could finally relax (minus worrying about black-legged ticks crawling into my pants and giving me Lyme disease.. come on nature, cut us a break!). I was helping the team down there cut down some Black Locust trees. Invasive, nasty trees, with big crazy thorns on them. I was wearing thin latex gloves, as we were applying some herbicide to the trees, and got a real "POKE!" from one of the trees as it was cut down. I pulled out the thorn with copious amounts of hand sanitizer, and brand new tweezers, and saw the whole thorn come out and thought nothing of it. But later that afternoon my left ring finger (thankfully minus my 2 wedding rings which might have had to have been cut off otherwise!) had swelled up like a sausage and I could barely move it! I learned the thorns are covered in nasty bacteria and frequently cause reactions in people who get pokes from them. The swelling went down the next day and I seemed to be good. Phew!
That weekend I was off on our annual adventure to Cedar Point to ride the big rollercoasters with my friends. It's always a wild journey travelling all the way to Sandusky, OH. It's been even trickier since we started leaving Bailey with my parents in Niagara-on-the-Lake, meaning we have to travel under Lake Erie to get there, and the voyage becoming about a 7 hour journey - ack! We planned to have Saturday free to pack, do laundry, get our act together, before taking the dog and ourselves down south on Sunday. We'd hit the park Monday and travel back Tuesday. But my kooky friend Pam (she's bananas!) suggested that we do an extra day at Cedar Point because it was closing earlier than we were used to (10 a.m. - 8 p.m. - short day!!) and the weather looked a little iffy for Monday. Jeff and I mulled it over for about 10 minutes and as we are also bananas decided to go for it. We wouldn't be able to make the camping work with the timelines, so we had Pam book us a couple of rooms in Cleveland that night and made the epic trip down. The hotel was awesome, the breakfast the next morning delightful, our day at the park simply magical (Maverick! Millenium Force and no one fainted!), and we had a lovely campfire that night and a nice evening of camping with great weather. We went to the park AGAIN the next day (bananas) and my feet were pretty done-zo by the end of it but I'll never forget the feeling of being in third in line on Top Thrill Dragster and then flying from 0 to 200 km/hr in 4 seconds. Can't beat it. Also the combination of Maverick followed by Chick Fil A as a delicious late dinner still makes me feel warm and fuzzy thinking about it a week later. Jeff, in the spirit of bananas weekend, ended up with a terrible hangover on Day 2 at the park and after he and I did the maiden ride on Top Thrill he said "I'm done." and disappeared, not to be seen on another ride that day! Later, Jay said "sorry you didn't make it on Top Thrill a second time, Jeff" and Jeff replied "I had my own Top Thrill in the washroom". I laughed for 10 minutes about that. Poor Jeff - 6 beers are not his friend in old age! ;) Our trip home on Tuesday took 9 hours (OMG - I nearly threw myself out the window on the QEW) and back to work Wednesday morning felt a little... bananas.. but totally worth it, of course!
I tried to get my legs under me last week, organizing work and staff and schedules and finishing projects and writing reports like a mad woman. I was feeling pretty good about everything after Thursday, but woke up disturbingly in the middle of Thursday night with my Black Locust finger swollen and throbbing. What the heck!?!? I was committed to a 24 hour biodiversity challenge in Carden Alvar on Friday/Saturday, with fieldwork and a meeting in Carden on Friday morning. There was simply no time to get to a doctor. I made an appt for this week, soaked my finger in Epsom salt before I left Friday and hoped for the best. The Challenge was amazing, as usual. Our new team member Bob saw a Loggerhead Shrike 5 minutes after the Challenge started - they are endangered and worth 4 points because of it.. alright! 23h55mins to go and we just kept knocking off species like crazy - Sora, Marsh Wren, Least Bittern, Trumpeter Swan, Eastern Meadowlark, Chipmunk, Green Frog... whirlwind night. A couple of times I could feel my immobile-seeming finger under my glove, but I just birded and biodiversity'd on! Raccoon, Barred Owl, Whip-poor-will, Rock Pigeon (a rural rarity if you can believe it!).
By the end of the night I was having trouble making a fist with my left hand but I told my finger to shut it, got into bed with a hot water bottle at a friend's in rural Carden (Uphill - look it up!) and aimed for my glorious 5 hours of sleep: 12:30 - 5:30. That's all the rest you get until 6:00 p.m. Saturday night when it's time to sit down to dinner. I was beyond dismayed to wake up at 2:45 a.m. with my finger positively screaming. I actually had tears in my eyes and had to slow my breathing to try to calm down. Because what the HELL could I do besides tough it out? After an hour of agony, I decided I had another option, so I snuck out of the house at 3:30 a.m., trying not to wake my sleeping teammates scattered through the hallway, left a note, left their gear inside, and disappeared into the night like a cat burglar: "gone to hospital for antibiotics - will text update - so sorry - good luck". I sped 30 minutes to Orillia Soldiers Memorial Hospital, feeling epicly stupid for admitting myself to the ER for "finger pain" but also knowing I had no other option if I wanted a chance of getting through the next day.
2 hours later I'd gotten a tetanus shot, pumped up with antibiotics and given a prescription for 40 more pills - 1 every 6 hours. It was 5:30 a.m. and no pharmacy would be open until 9 a.m. but I needed my next dose at noon. What the hell was I gonna do!? My friend and I devised a plan: go back to her house and sleep, go to the pharmacy in the nearby little town of Kirkfield at 9 and rejoin the team for more biodiversity fun at 10ish. I'm happy to report this plan mostly worked, except I sped past my friends' house on the way home, busy looking for deer in the early morning frosty fields, not realizing it until I reached a lake that is decidedly well past her home; and also I didn't doze off 'till 7 a.m., and therefore didn't want to get up at 8:30 so I closed my eyes "for a few more minutes" and didn't wake up again until 10:20 a.m.! Oops! All good though - got the drugs, finger was feeling more manageable and I was back to wielding binoculars and a butterfly net (though not very well - I missed way more than I caught yesterday!). We got amazing species: Olympia Marble (butterfly), Semipalmated Plover, Milksnake.. I could go on!
We stopped at our friends the Ridgway's and didn't pick up a single species but managed 2 rounds of wine on the deck by their pond before we headed out on the road again. During the visit the blackflies were so bad that I joked that my friend Trish looked like one of those moose in the documentaries you see about northern Canada in summer "this moose finds relief from the incessant bugs by submerging himself in the water" - and you can see the thick curtain of bugs around him.. that was Trish. Blackflies=bananas. Today I have a nice case of what I'm calling "blackne" - bloodied blackfly bites covering my neck, ears and shoulders - tasty!! However.. the best part of the day was: WE WON! In our category, we have always placed below the top rung but last night we took home the trophy! I was so happy I was able to stick it out and join my team for the celebration - ridiculous sausage finger and all. Unfortunately I was hit hard by the effects of the antibiotics on the drive home last night. They are never kind to my sensitive system. I left at 8:45 p.m. and by 9:00 was on the phone with Jeff asking him if he could book me a cheap hotel.. somewhere,.. anywhere.. as I knew the nausea, headache and general fatigue/dizziness were not going to bode well for another 2.5 hours in the car. I ended up in Newmarket at the Holiday Inn and you can guess how soundly and for how long I slept in that big soft cozy white bed! I finally made it home in one piece (more or less) this morning, but I need some serious rejuvenation before my next field adventure! Oh.. it's Wednesday - Saturday?? I better work harder at relaxing today!!
What a bananas, bananas couple of weeks. I hope next week is bug-free, bear-free, with only the prettiest flowers blooming, and warblers landing on my shoulder to sing me a song. And not infecting me with anything in the process.
Said to Laura, while hightailing it out of the forest: "we're going to laugh about this, right?". Line of my life!
On Tuesday, May 12 I travelled up to a favourite property for an annual monitoring visit - "to Georgian Bay!" is always one of my favourite things to say! It was a cold, cloudy, windy evening but we trekked out by boat to this water access only property near Pointe au Baril to monitor for reptiles, frogs, birds, spring plants and really anything we could find. I've only been to this property in late summer/fall before, so this was going to be a new and wonderful time of year to see this lovely place. Two minutes in: bear scat. A minute later: rocks flipped by bears. This is nothing new - bears are present on almost every property I work on and I have never seen one to date. I've had vague hopes of seeing one - from far, far away, as it disappears into the forest of course. However, on this 10 acre parcel of land with a water taxi being the only way off, I would be more than pleased if the bears kept their furry distance. Deep forest adjacent to a giant conservation reserve and barely any cottages feels a bit more like me barging in on Winnie's home than some of the other places with roads and trails that I frequent. As we listened for frogs and flipped logs for salamanders and kept our eyes peeled for new and interesting plant species I noticed my assistant and I were being MUCH quieter than we usually are - we were listening! I have a theory that I never see bears because I never stop talking and they know easily to keep their distance from that noisy girl. So on the bear-iest property, we were the quietest we'd ever been - probably not the wisest - and luckily were standing right next to each other when I scanned around and locked eyes with a black bear. He was on all fours, on the small-ish side in terms of weight but as tall as my hip. I can still hear my own voice, quietly, with much fear masked: "Laura, there's a bear."
Laura sweetly reached for my hand as if to pull me away. I said "get the bear spray out of my bag". Once I had it in hand, our training on how to handle bear encounters kicked in and we started being BIG and LOUD to frighten the bear away. Bears are generally not interested in eating humans (it would be like a semi-vegetarian suddenly grilling up a huge steak - quite odd and unlikely) and they tend to be not interested in meeting/tussling with us. Exceptions include predatory bears (like the one in Cochrane that broke in and dragged a guy out of his house - http://www.thesudburystar.com/2013/05/11/women-fight-off-bear-attacking-a-man), mama bears (protecting cubs) or bears that are startled/threatened. This bear made a motion as if to bound away when we yelled, but slyly looked back over his shoulder which prompted us to decide to get the HECK out of there. Laura reminded me not to run (WOW what a powerful urge it was to run!) and we walked swiftly away. We heard a Broad-winged Hawk calling and decided "we won't let this bear ruin our day!" and Laura began pulling out her binoculars to look for it. Her hands were shaking. My knees were shaking, almost knocking together like in a cartoon. Then I spotted the bear again - he was coming at us from a different direction, and not slowly either. Laura stuffed the bins back in her bag and we proceeded to yell and shout and wave our arms to scare it away. I yelled things that now seem so ridiculous: "Kristyn and Laura are VERY SCARY!" "Do not mess with us! We are tough!!!" "Get OUTTA HERE, BEAR!". You could hear the fury and then the disappointment in our raised voices as we realized this bear was not pausing in his pursuit towards us and we realized nature was breaking its deal with us - we take good care of nature where I work; nature is supposed to take care of us. At that point we didn't see another option except a hasty retreat back to the shoreline. We stood, basically vibrating we were shaking so hard, on the rocky shoreline, staring back into the forest where we'd left, and hopefully left the bear. Laura was holding a giant stick. We didn't take our eyes off the trail into the forest as we called the water taxi to pick us up 2 hours early (thank goodness for cell service in the middle of nowhere!). A bird landed on Laura's shoulder during these moments, which is hilarious to think back on because it's always my dream to have birds land on us in the field and it's never once happened. We were a little too shattered to enjoy it properly, though! After much cheesy lasagna, sharing the story with everyone we could talk to, and a good long hug, we were feeling a bit better. After much research and discussion, I now understand that the bear was young, curious, hungry and smelled the food we had in our backpacks and decided to "investigate" and possibly try to share our dinners. It's tough going in early spring finding food if you're a black bear. I still don't forgive him. We will not be back to this property until well after the berry crop is out this season, and will be bringing at least 2 other staff people, that's for sure. I'm glad I didn't have to use the bear spray, or poke the bear in the eyes fighting for my life - I am grateful - but it took many days before the flashbacks went away and I felt normal again: "Laura, there's a bear".
We actually had a stellar next day on Georgian Bay near Sans Souci. 72 acres, 1 bear scat, no bear sightings - phew! The following day I was down in Norfolk county, where bears are non-existent and I could finally relax (minus worrying about black-legged ticks crawling into my pants and giving me Lyme disease.. come on nature, cut us a break!). I was helping the team down there cut down some Black Locust trees. Invasive, nasty trees, with big crazy thorns on them. I was wearing thin latex gloves, as we were applying some herbicide to the trees, and got a real "POKE!" from one of the trees as it was cut down. I pulled out the thorn with copious amounts of hand sanitizer, and brand new tweezers, and saw the whole thorn come out and thought nothing of it. But later that afternoon my left ring finger (thankfully minus my 2 wedding rings which might have had to have been cut off otherwise!) had swelled up like a sausage and I could barely move it! I learned the thorns are covered in nasty bacteria and frequently cause reactions in people who get pokes from them. The swelling went down the next day and I seemed to be good. Phew!
That weekend I was off on our annual adventure to Cedar Point to ride the big rollercoasters with my friends. It's always a wild journey travelling all the way to Sandusky, OH. It's been even trickier since we started leaving Bailey with my parents in Niagara-on-the-Lake, meaning we have to travel under Lake Erie to get there, and the voyage becoming about a 7 hour journey - ack! We planned to have Saturday free to pack, do laundry, get our act together, before taking the dog and ourselves down south on Sunday. We'd hit the park Monday and travel back Tuesday. But my kooky friend Pam (she's bananas!) suggested that we do an extra day at Cedar Point because it was closing earlier than we were used to (10 a.m. - 8 p.m. - short day!!) and the weather looked a little iffy for Monday. Jeff and I mulled it over for about 10 minutes and as we are also bananas decided to go for it. We wouldn't be able to make the camping work with the timelines, so we had Pam book us a couple of rooms in Cleveland that night and made the epic trip down. The hotel was awesome, the breakfast the next morning delightful, our day at the park simply magical (Maverick! Millenium Force and no one fainted!), and we had a lovely campfire that night and a nice evening of camping with great weather. We went to the park AGAIN the next day (bananas) and my feet were pretty done-zo by the end of it but I'll never forget the feeling of being in third in line on Top Thrill Dragster and then flying from 0 to 200 km/hr in 4 seconds. Can't beat it. Also the combination of Maverick followed by Chick Fil A as a delicious late dinner still makes me feel warm and fuzzy thinking about it a week later. Jeff, in the spirit of bananas weekend, ended up with a terrible hangover on Day 2 at the park and after he and I did the maiden ride on Top Thrill he said "I'm done." and disappeared, not to be seen on another ride that day! Later, Jay said "sorry you didn't make it on Top Thrill a second time, Jeff" and Jeff replied "I had my own Top Thrill in the washroom". I laughed for 10 minutes about that. Poor Jeff - 6 beers are not his friend in old age! ;) Our trip home on Tuesday took 9 hours (OMG - I nearly threw myself out the window on the QEW) and back to work Wednesday morning felt a little... bananas.. but totally worth it, of course!
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| Waiting for TTD to launch w/ Jay and Kevin (ride#2, I am sitting with a stranger while Jeff takes this pic) |
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| Millenium Force fly-by - Kevin and my hands both look like crab claws |
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| Team Basketcases trying to get a positive ID on some swallows flying around the Kirkfield Lift Locks! |
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| The sunset was amazing - picture snipe, nghthawk and whip-poor-will song over this background - wow Carden! |
By the end of the night I was having trouble making a fist with my left hand but I told my finger to shut it, got into bed with a hot water bottle at a friend's in rural Carden (Uphill - look it up!) and aimed for my glorious 5 hours of sleep: 12:30 - 5:30. That's all the rest you get until 6:00 p.m. Saturday night when it's time to sit down to dinner. I was beyond dismayed to wake up at 2:45 a.m. with my finger positively screaming. I actually had tears in my eyes and had to slow my breathing to try to calm down. Because what the HELL could I do besides tough it out? After an hour of agony, I decided I had another option, so I snuck out of the house at 3:30 a.m., trying not to wake my sleeping teammates scattered through the hallway, left a note, left their gear inside, and disappeared into the night like a cat burglar: "gone to hospital for antibiotics - will text update - so sorry - good luck". I sped 30 minutes to Orillia Soldiers Memorial Hospital, feeling epicly stupid for admitting myself to the ER for "finger pain" but also knowing I had no other option if I wanted a chance of getting through the next day.
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| Sausage Finger - reading/waiting in the ER exam room |
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| Olympia Marble butterfly - a "lifer" for me! |
We stopped at our friends the Ridgway's and didn't pick up a single species but managed 2 rounds of wine on the deck by their pond before we headed out on the road again. During the visit the blackflies were so bad that I joked that my friend Trish looked like one of those moose in the documentaries you see about northern Canada in summer "this moose finds relief from the incessant bugs by submerging himself in the water" - and you can see the thick curtain of bugs around him.. that was Trish. Blackflies=bananas. Today I have a nice case of what I'm calling "blackne" - bloodied blackfly bites covering my neck, ears and shoulders - tasty!! However.. the best part of the day was: WE WON! In our category, we have always placed below the top rung but last night we took home the trophy! I was so happy I was able to stick it out and join my team for the celebration - ridiculous sausage finger and all. Unfortunately I was hit hard by the effects of the antibiotics on the drive home last night. They are never kind to my sensitive system. I left at 8:45 p.m. and by 9:00 was on the phone with Jeff asking him if he could book me a cheap hotel.. somewhere,.. anywhere.. as I knew the nausea, headache and general fatigue/dizziness were not going to bode well for another 2.5 hours in the car. I ended up in Newmarket at the Holiday Inn and you can guess how soundly and for how long I slept in that big soft cozy white bed! I finally made it home in one piece (more or less) this morning, but I need some serious rejuvenation before my next field adventure! Oh.. it's Wednesday - Saturday?? I better work harder at relaxing today!!
What a bananas, bananas couple of weeks. I hope next week is bug-free, bear-free, with only the prettiest flowers blooming, and warblers landing on my shoulder to sing me a song. And not infecting me with anything in the process.
Said to Laura, while hightailing it out of the forest: "we're going to laugh about this, right?". Line of my life!
Sunday, 29 March 2015
Farewell Ghetto Office
I haven't been inspired to write a blog post in a little while now! I should have raved about Costa Rica right when we got back, when it was all fresh and I was feeling "la pura vida". It took about 2 days back in the office and to the grind of housework and dogwalks for my pura vida feelings to be swept away in a chilly late winter wind! Le sigh. It really was an amazing trip! Vacations are so fantastic to simply relieve yourself of stress, routine, and life for a solid week! :)
I thought I'd write about something more topical today, and just briefly - a farewell to my work's current Guelph office as this week we are relocating to the what I like to call "hip" (making me decidedly un-hip) downtown of Guelph. We're going to be in the offices in the upstairs of the Old Quebec St. mall, meaning that I can WALK to some great places like Capistrano and Eric the Baker.. not to mention my bank.. a convenience store.. clothing stores.. oh my... and who knows what other fun spots I'll find downtown.. a place where I hardly spend time anymore!
This is a not so romantic ode to our office at the Orchard Park office centre, located in the Ignatius Jesuit Centre just on the northern boundary of Guelph heading up Highway 6 past the curling club.
Positive things:
- free parking
- nice cross country ski trails to ski on during lunch in the winter
Negative things:
- the dead flies that swarm the office in the fall, looking for shelter from the cold.. why are there so many places the flies can get in? they frequently line our windowsills, or cling to our ceilings and die there, forever frozen standing upside down...
- the dog pee stains on the carpet - having a dog-friendly office was a lot of fun for when the trained dogs visited.... not as much the others.... In the summer, the carpet heats up so much you can smell a vague pee-like odor rising from it like a vapour
- heat in the winter is always on full blast (if it's not, you're shivering and can't feel your fingers) so you're mainly sweating and wearing t-shirts in January - the radiators have no control knobs on them so you have to open your window for relief (I work for an environmental charity, this is painful!)
- there is no air conditioning.. not like it doesn't work.. there just is none. Hot winters, hot summers. Who wears short shorts? All of us employees, on 30C days in the summer is who!
- my co-worker's office always had slight suspicious water damage. This year, his ceiling caved in on him
- my same co-worker's office had bats found in it.. three times.. just his office though. Bat bait?
- a Mourning Dove made a nest in the air conditioner window shaker in the printer room and you could regularly hear it cooing
- our storage shed was home to many mice, who regularly ate the granola bars that we stored there for volunteer events
- for over 7 years that I was there (we had the office for a good 5 years before that) raw sewage ran out of a pipe in the wall of the storage shed into a drain in the floor - smelled awesome
- the washrooms are unisex - never men/women in there at the same time, but let's just say I'd always wait awhile after the "men" sign had been on the door to go in! ew, boys are just gross
- the washrooms were kept pretty clean, but the entirety of the floor was never mopped, as evidenced by a dead fly that sat in the corner of one of the stalls for over 6 months
- the cleaning service we hired frequently ate my co-worker's gum, hid my fork. and forgot to empty the garbage cans
- it's a 4 story walk up the stairs to our office, with no elevator
- hornets would regularly fly in through the hole in my window, leaving me screaming and running and enlisting my braver coworkers to trap them for me
- on a related note, my coworker Dan once had his office door closed and was on a conference call in the heat of summer so he took his shirt off, when a hornet flew in through his window, stung him in the neck and he couldn't make a noise or run into the hallway shirtless, so he just quietly freaked out like a mime
- lazy half dead flies would frequently fall off the ceiling, or do a kamikaze flight, into my hair and get tangled there.. again leaving me screaming
- the boardroom was always freezing cold or painfully hot, and never the right temperature for a professional meeting which was always good and embarrassing
- Jeff and I took the contract to paint the office in 2010 - it was a stark, prison white before that - we had to press the rollers "not too hard" over areas of the wall so damaged by water that the paint and drywall would just flake off as you went over them. Now it's a lovely blue... but don't touch certain areas, whatever you do!
- not a single thing to buy - a drink, a snack, lunch, any commodity whatsoever - without a 10 minute walk down the shoulder of Highway 6
- the inaccessibility of walking up or down Highway 6 in rush hour. Fun for my currently pregnant co-worker, teetering on snowbanks along the edge of a windy 4 lane 70 km/hr highway, and actually also a favourite on a bike - my former coworker was hit by a truck on her ride to work and I was nearly side-swiped by one last summer!
- the water that comes out of the taps is white, fizzes and tastes deeply of chlorine - delicious!
The sad part is not a word of that list is a lie and I'm probably forgetting things too!
Well....to "hip" downtown indeed!!!! :) Very excited for riding my bike and walking to work to become more regular fixtures of my life. The loss of free parking will be tough, but we'll get by I'm sure! Climate control, potable water, gender-diverse washrooms, clean carpet and a general lack of fauna is going to make our new office feel like essentially paradise!
April 1!!!!!
I thought I'd write about something more topical today, and just briefly - a farewell to my work's current Guelph office as this week we are relocating to the what I like to call "hip" (making me decidedly un-hip) downtown of Guelph. We're going to be in the offices in the upstairs of the Old Quebec St. mall, meaning that I can WALK to some great places like Capistrano and Eric the Baker.. not to mention my bank.. a convenience store.. clothing stores.. oh my... and who knows what other fun spots I'll find downtown.. a place where I hardly spend time anymore!
This is a not so romantic ode to our office at the Orchard Park office centre, located in the Ignatius Jesuit Centre just on the northern boundary of Guelph heading up Highway 6 past the curling club.
Positive things:
- free parking
- nice cross country ski trails to ski on during lunch in the winter
Negative things:
- the dead flies that swarm the office in the fall, looking for shelter from the cold.. why are there so many places the flies can get in? they frequently line our windowsills, or cling to our ceilings and die there, forever frozen standing upside down...
- the dog pee stains on the carpet - having a dog-friendly office was a lot of fun for when the trained dogs visited.... not as much the others.... In the summer, the carpet heats up so much you can smell a vague pee-like odor rising from it like a vapour
- heat in the winter is always on full blast (if it's not, you're shivering and can't feel your fingers) so you're mainly sweating and wearing t-shirts in January - the radiators have no control knobs on them so you have to open your window for relief (I work for an environmental charity, this is painful!)
- there is no air conditioning.. not like it doesn't work.. there just is none. Hot winters, hot summers. Who wears short shorts? All of us employees, on 30C days in the summer is who!
- my co-worker's office always had slight suspicious water damage. This year, his ceiling caved in on him
- my same co-worker's office had bats found in it.. three times.. just his office though. Bat bait?
- a Mourning Dove made a nest in the air conditioner window shaker in the printer room and you could regularly hear it cooing
- our storage shed was home to many mice, who regularly ate the granola bars that we stored there for volunteer events
- for over 7 years that I was there (we had the office for a good 5 years before that) raw sewage ran out of a pipe in the wall of the storage shed into a drain in the floor - smelled awesome
- the washrooms are unisex - never men/women in there at the same time, but let's just say I'd always wait awhile after the "men" sign had been on the door to go in! ew, boys are just gross
- the washrooms were kept pretty clean, but the entirety of the floor was never mopped, as evidenced by a dead fly that sat in the corner of one of the stalls for over 6 months
- the cleaning service we hired frequently ate my co-worker's gum, hid my fork. and forgot to empty the garbage cans
- it's a 4 story walk up the stairs to our office, with no elevator
- hornets would regularly fly in through the hole in my window, leaving me screaming and running and enlisting my braver coworkers to trap them for me
- on a related note, my coworker Dan once had his office door closed and was on a conference call in the heat of summer so he took his shirt off, when a hornet flew in through his window, stung him in the neck and he couldn't make a noise or run into the hallway shirtless, so he just quietly freaked out like a mime
- lazy half dead flies would frequently fall off the ceiling, or do a kamikaze flight, into my hair and get tangled there.. again leaving me screaming
- the boardroom was always freezing cold or painfully hot, and never the right temperature for a professional meeting which was always good and embarrassing
- Jeff and I took the contract to paint the office in 2010 - it was a stark, prison white before that - we had to press the rollers "not too hard" over areas of the wall so damaged by water that the paint and drywall would just flake off as you went over them. Now it's a lovely blue... but don't touch certain areas, whatever you do!
- not a single thing to buy - a drink, a snack, lunch, any commodity whatsoever - without a 10 minute walk down the shoulder of Highway 6
- the inaccessibility of walking up or down Highway 6 in rush hour. Fun for my currently pregnant co-worker, teetering on snowbanks along the edge of a windy 4 lane 70 km/hr highway, and actually also a favourite on a bike - my former coworker was hit by a truck on her ride to work and I was nearly side-swiped by one last summer!
- the water that comes out of the taps is white, fizzes and tastes deeply of chlorine - delicious!
The sad part is not a word of that list is a lie and I'm probably forgetting things too!
Well....to "hip" downtown indeed!!!! :) Very excited for riding my bike and walking to work to become more regular fixtures of my life. The loss of free parking will be tough, but we'll get by I'm sure! Climate control, potable water, gender-diverse washrooms, clean carpet and a general lack of fauna is going to make our new office feel like essentially paradise!
April 1!!!!!
Tuesday, 3 February 2015
Winter...
A few years ago I made a pact with myself that I was going to start enjoying winter. I'm a firm believer in "you're whining - can you change it? if yes - change it. if no - stop whining." :) I went with a combo of both actions... because you can't change winter. All us crazy assholes decided to live here year round, for some reason, so what's the point raging against the inevitable 5 months of winter we're guaranteed each year? I'm not saying I've got this practice down perfectly. I have a "winter dogwalk countdown" going in my head almost every day (~45 winter dogwalks remaining - this is down from triple digits.. alllright!). I HATE the disgusting burny salt all over the sidewalks. I miss flip flops. BUUUUUT. I know can change how I feel about it if I try..there is a lot to love out there! I'm going to aim for a yoga-worthy balance with this entry and go point for point about what's sucked about this winter so far, coupled with what's been great. Be warned, I'm an eerily good mood from an excess of endorphins from walking 8 km home from work in the sunshine today (not by choice.. we are down to one car this week as Bunny undergoes suspension surgery). If you're having a dark day I promise the sun will come out tomorrow (actually it looks like it's going to be cloudy and snowy tomorrow.. but I promise the sun will come out.. on Thursday...).
THE BAD: SAD. As in Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have this. You probably do too. Read the Mayo clinic's symptom list for an ah-ha moment about why you've been feeling so crummy lately (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20021047). Honestly, there was a point this winter where I had feelings from the 'major depression' list - loss of interest, hopelessness.. the trouble with sleeping even continues today. But mostly I'm just a listless, carb-craving couch slug! Sometimes when the sun is out I just turn my face up to it like a sunflower trying to drink in the weak rays and remind my body there is a light at the end of this winter tunnel! To anyone else wondering why they've been pounding down the cookies (in my case graham crackers and marshmallows in the form of microwave smores.. oh man.. gotta stop this..) and laying in bed ordering themselves to get out of it with no hope in the morning.. you are not alone. The good news: there are longer days a'comin'. Just another month until Daylight Savings Time!
THE GOOD: Winter dogwalks (when I'm not doing the endless loop of death around our neighbourhood - don't tell Bailey, but most days I just want to get these walks OVER with!). Memorable walks have included all the times I've strapped on my snowshoes and headed out into nature (even if nature is just the conservation trails in my neighbourhood!). Bailey seems to love bounding around in the deep snow like a rodeo horse, which is always entertaining for me to watch :) Yesterday in the late afternoon we took advantage of the "snow day" and headed out into the sunshine to break new trail in snow up to his armpits and my knees. What a workout!!
THE BAD: Everything being cancelled due to snow!!! My Superbowl party included. Not that Jeff and I had a problem eating the entire two racks of ribs in 2 days, but ribs are so much sweeter when shared with friends! Already looking forward to Superbowl 2016! Also, I've had a standing invite for some local ladies to join me for The Bachelor every Monday for weeks which has been a problematic weather day for at least the last 2 weeks! Either that or they're too nice to tell me my Bachelor addiction has gotten OUT OF CONTROL! ;)
THE GOOD: The chance to be at home. I can't hate winter too much, or wish it away too quickly, because when spring and summer come I will have to take off for multiple long trips to the field which will leave me sorely missing home - the quiet solitude (not that I don't enjoy yammering with my interns nonstop for a week, I do, but quiet is really underrated!), being with Jeff and Bailey, my own bed and pillows, my bathtub - there are so many little wonders I miss all summer long which are mine all winter long, and for that I'm grateful. Plus time.. just having time.. to be... very nice indeed.
THE BAD: The dreaded winter cold/flu. I've had 2 in January alone and I'm SO over them. The last one sapped me for NINE DAYS (I was monitoring it closely!). Being robbed of the ability to work out.. walk up and down stairs without getting winded.. last the day without taking a nap... even just the ability to tidy my house a little (the dog fur is in tumbleweeds) - so incredibly frustrating. The feeling of being TRAPPED on my beloved couch is not one I enjoy!! Man am I happy that last cold passed and I'll be back to walking in a wide arc around sick people and washing my hands every time I see a tap! Sadly I'm finding a direct correlation between drinking and getting sick, so I might have to clean up my act.. for the next little while at least. 3 colds/flus in 5 months is far too many! To health!!!
THE GOOD: Skiing! I can't wait for my first XC ski! The conditions weren't right until YESTERDAY and since I was snowshoeing yesterday and hoofing it home from work today, I haven't yet had the opportunity, but know I will be taking it as soon as I get it. I love the swish swish sound of skis cutting through the snow, and the fun of zipping down a wee hill, and even laughing at falling over. Skiing through snowy trees around Guelph Lake is pretty spectacular. This was the original activity I decided to take up in my bid not to hate winter, and I'd encourage anyone else to try it, anytime!
THE BAD: The dark. The ominous, looming, ever-present darkness. I'm lucky to work in town so I at least get to see the sunrise on my morning dogwalk and it's light when I leave the building at 4:30. Poor Jeff, at parts of winter he literally never goes outside when it's light out. He hates winter a lot more than me. Point taken. There is such an important interaction between light and mood - I've never felt it as much as I did this year. Daylight savings countdown, keep it in mind!!!
THE GOOD: The hilarity that was mid-December weather. On Boxing Day in Niagara-on-the-Lake it was 12C and sunny. Jeff and I took Bailey for the longest walk EVER just to soak up the rays of what felt like a spring day! Jeff of course wore a t-shirt. I walked Bailey in my hiking boots and shoes for most of the month which was awesome! Though the point of this entry was trying to find GOOD things about winter.. a GOOD thing about winter is when it forgets to really show up at all! ;)
THE GOOD: Snowy owls. I recently went on a mission to find one, and got lucky enough to see FIVE! They are currently experiencing a population fluctuation known as an irruption, which drove huge numbers of them south this winter. This might never happen again in our lifetime so I'm pretty excited I got to see 5 in one day. 0 before.. 0 after.. but that 5-Snowy day will live in my heart forever!!
Enjoy the rest of it.. spring is just around the corner! :)
THE BAD: SAD. As in Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have this. You probably do too. Read the Mayo clinic's symptom list for an ah-ha moment about why you've been feeling so crummy lately (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20021047). Honestly, there was a point this winter where I had feelings from the 'major depression' list - loss of interest, hopelessness.. the trouble with sleeping even continues today. But mostly I'm just a listless, carb-craving couch slug! Sometimes when the sun is out I just turn my face up to it like a sunflower trying to drink in the weak rays and remind my body there is a light at the end of this winter tunnel! To anyone else wondering why they've been pounding down the cookies (in my case graham crackers and marshmallows in the form of microwave smores.. oh man.. gotta stop this..) and laying in bed ordering themselves to get out of it with no hope in the morning.. you are not alone. The good news: there are longer days a'comin'. Just another month until Daylight Savings Time!
THE GOOD: Winter dogwalks (when I'm not doing the endless loop of death around our neighbourhood - don't tell Bailey, but most days I just want to get these walks OVER with!). Memorable walks have included all the times I've strapped on my snowshoes and headed out into nature (even if nature is just the conservation trails in my neighbourhood!). Bailey seems to love bounding around in the deep snow like a rodeo horse, which is always entertaining for me to watch :) Yesterday in the late afternoon we took advantage of the "snow day" and headed out into the sunshine to break new trail in snow up to his armpits and my knees. What a workout!!
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| My trusty sidekick Bailey is just up ahead - this is us snowshoeing the Minesing Wetlands (THE BAD: putting your foot through the ice and getting it stuck in the muck below the icy water! agggg! THE GOOD: those are 20 Great Blue Heron nests in a place impossible to reach in the spring/summer/fall :)) |
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| Bailey is such a trooper - he's not tall, but he's hardy and broke trail yesterday afternoon for us in Eastview Park! |
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| Well, ya can't complain about this view! Laura Baily Memorial Trail between Eastview and Grange. |
THE BAD: Everything being cancelled due to snow!!! My Superbowl party included. Not that Jeff and I had a problem eating the entire two racks of ribs in 2 days, but ribs are so much sweeter when shared with friends! Already looking forward to Superbowl 2016! Also, I've had a standing invite for some local ladies to join me for The Bachelor every Monday for weeks which has been a problematic weather day for at least the last 2 weeks! Either that or they're too nice to tell me my Bachelor addiction has gotten OUT OF CONTROL! ;)
THE GOOD: The chance to be at home. I can't hate winter too much, or wish it away too quickly, because when spring and summer come I will have to take off for multiple long trips to the field which will leave me sorely missing home - the quiet solitude (not that I don't enjoy yammering with my interns nonstop for a week, I do, but quiet is really underrated!), being with Jeff and Bailey, my own bed and pillows, my bathtub - there are so many little wonders I miss all summer long which are mine all winter long, and for that I'm grateful. Plus time.. just having time.. to be... very nice indeed.
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| I took this at the end of my adventure walking home today to show my assistant I made it home safely. Never been so happy about HOME! |
THE BAD: The dreaded winter cold/flu. I've had 2 in January alone and I'm SO over them. The last one sapped me for NINE DAYS (I was monitoring it closely!). Being robbed of the ability to work out.. walk up and down stairs without getting winded.. last the day without taking a nap... even just the ability to tidy my house a little (the dog fur is in tumbleweeds) - so incredibly frustrating. The feeling of being TRAPPED on my beloved couch is not one I enjoy!! Man am I happy that last cold passed and I'll be back to walking in a wide arc around sick people and washing my hands every time I see a tap! Sadly I'm finding a direct correlation between drinking and getting sick, so I might have to clean up my act.. for the next little while at least. 3 colds/flus in 5 months is far too many! To health!!!
THE GOOD: Skiing! I can't wait for my first XC ski! The conditions weren't right until YESTERDAY and since I was snowshoeing yesterday and hoofing it home from work today, I haven't yet had the opportunity, but know I will be taking it as soon as I get it. I love the swish swish sound of skis cutting through the snow, and the fun of zipping down a wee hill, and even laughing at falling over. Skiing through snowy trees around Guelph Lake is pretty spectacular. This was the original activity I decided to take up in my bid not to hate winter, and I'd encourage anyone else to try it, anytime!
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| Skiing in Carden Alvar in 2014 |
THE BAD: The dark. The ominous, looming, ever-present darkness. I'm lucky to work in town so I at least get to see the sunrise on my morning dogwalk and it's light when I leave the building at 4:30. Poor Jeff, at parts of winter he literally never goes outside when it's light out. He hates winter a lot more than me. Point taken. There is such an important interaction between light and mood - I've never felt it as much as I did this year. Daylight savings countdown, keep it in mind!!!
THE GOOD: The hilarity that was mid-December weather. On Boxing Day in Niagara-on-the-Lake it was 12C and sunny. Jeff and I took Bailey for the longest walk EVER just to soak up the rays of what felt like a spring day! Jeff of course wore a t-shirt. I walked Bailey in my hiking boots and shoes for most of the month which was awesome! Though the point of this entry was trying to find GOOD things about winter.. a GOOD thing about winter is when it forgets to really show up at all! ;)
THE GOOD: Snowy owls. I recently went on a mission to find one, and got lucky enough to see FIVE! They are currently experiencing a population fluctuation known as an irruption, which drove huge numbers of them south this winter. This might never happen again in our lifetime so I'm pretty excited I got to see 5 in one day. 0 before.. 0 after.. but that 5-Snowy day will live in my heart forever!!
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| Snowy Wink |
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