I just felt inspired to write a little post about my love of sleep, which goes hand in hand with my atrocious behaviour when I haven't had enough sleep.
I have been a huge sleeper as far back as I can remember. I was for sure that kid who hated getting up for school in the mornings (my dad had to "come back in ten minutes" at least 1-2x after trying to wake me up to get me going for school - he was my snooze button.. a good dad!). I remember summer vacation in high school meant staying up until 3 a.m. and then sleeping until delicious 12:00 p.m.. My grandpa used to call our house to talk to my mom at 9:30 a.m. every Saturday morning and ended up nicknaming me "the bear" due to my manners answering the phone at that time of day. Dawn is STILL terrified to call me before 10:00 a.m. (I am not, what one might call, a "morning person"). I can remember when I started going out to clubs and bars and not coming home until 3:30 a.m., then having to get up at 9 a.m. to work my high school part time job the next day - it was not a pretty sight (apologies to Cliffside M&M Meat Shops customers 2000-2001). I remember the utter shock of university life when I was out until 3 a.m. most nights and expected to get up for class and labs for 8:30 a.m. the next day - ew! It was at UG that I developed my love for napping (between classes, at the end of the day, before the bar - whatever I could get), out of the sheer necessity of actually getting my degree while still having the most awesome time possible. Today, I am lucky enough to have found a job in town where I only commute 10 mins to work and work a 7 hour day, allowing for a sleep-in until 8 a.m. (well, until recently.. hi Bailey). I have, over the years, been fascinated with times when I've had a small amount of sleep and managed to carry on:
- In grade 12 I stayed up until 6 a.m. at a party and then slept for 3 hours and went to work my customer service job on my feet the next day for 9 hours; THEN went dancing that night and got home at 2 a.m.. I was astonished I was in one piece, and a little proud!
- On the night before my wedding I was up late running over details and scenarios and.. you name it!.. in my head until 1:30/2 a.m.. Due to a bridezilla and a scheduling conflict at my hair salon, I had to be up at 6 a.m. for the early hair appointment. And I honestly had the greatest day of my life (the one time I can say that and it's not an exaggeration :)). I remember not feeling tired until about 5 p.m. on the way to the reception, but that was the last I thought about being tired, until it was time for bed at about 2:30 a.m. that night!
- When I had a 4 day week in the field spraying Dog-strangling Vine this past June (my first large scale herbicide application effort, leading a team of 4-6 people), I was so jacked up going over details, planning, etc. that I was averaging maybe 3-4 hours of sleep a night with just one nap squeezed in one afternoon. In 35C temps, in full spray gear, I'm still not sure how I did it for 4 days, but I did and lived to tell the tale!
Maybe the lesson is: when you gotta get 'er done (job, wedding, fieldwork) - you just sorta go for it no matter what! (I imagine this is what most parents have to do too, eh!)
But generally, a rule with very few exceptions, is that I need a lot of sleep to feel like myself. I can describe this VERY accurately today based on how I felt this morning when Jeff's alarm that he'd forgotten to turn off went off at 6:07 a.m.... on a Saturday. We'd stayed up "late" last night (midnight) and I was hoping to sleep until 8 a.m. or so - no such luck. Bailey started stirring around 7 a.m. and though Jeff got up to hang with him, I never successfully fell back asleep. And my mood was the pits. I was a) exhausted b) irritable c) overly sensitive d) too groggy to pick up the newspaper and read it (our Saturday morning routine) e) too tired to join Jeff on the dogwalk f) too tired to pick up a dustrag and finish my half of the cleaning and g) so hungry I couldn't stop eating all morning (a common factor in the sleep deprived - too much of the hunger hormone ghrelin produced and I can certainly attest to the hunger pangs). I was basically completely useless and all I could think about was "I have GOT to nap". Napping is my medicine against sleep deprivation (well, ya..). I can nap and then bounce up and feel completely restored to my usual self within an hour of waking (once I shake the nap-groggies off!). So I woke up about an hour ago.. and here I am. I feel great. I'm ready to turn on some music and dance around the house dusting. I'm ready to take Mr. B out on his walk in about an hour, and looking forward to how the fresh air will feel on my puffy face. I'm ready for a night on the town with my ladies, and confident I can dance 'till I drop without collapsing crying on the dancefloor around midnight ;)
Anyone reading that last bit who is in the camp of people who only requires 6-7 hours of sleep a night, or even moreso, is a parent, is definitely having a laugh at this blog content right now. But I spent a little bit of time after I woke up from my couch nap researching this interesting subject online and found, much to my relief, there are just certain people in the world who require at least 8-9 hours of sleep a night to function properly. Symptoms reported by these people when not able to meet their sleep quota are fogginess, irritability, extreme hunger, fatigue and loss of energy and symptoms likened to symptoms of depression (!!!). A large part of the reason I've been hesitant my whole life about having kids (apart from the never feeling the desire to have them.. that's a big one) is trying to picture a life of interrupted sleep, lack of sleep and loss of sleep. Honestly, I am the most grotesque version of myself on little sleep. I saw this woman in a parking lot the other day who couldn't even wait until she slammed her door shut before she turned around and started screaming her head off at her kids in the backseat. I bet she was tired. It's far too easy to picture myself in that role because my overreactions, sensitivity and general instability and inability to function like a human are so activated and amplified when I don't sleep. And I would never, ever want to be that woman. I feel bad enough if I get testy with the dog when he stands directly at my knees so I CAN'T MOVE (Bailey! he's like a furry log on legs) on a morning with not enough sleep. I couldn't inflict that terrible attitude, daily, on another human being! And since sleep deprivation seems to be an inevitable part of being a mom it seems like that parking lot mom scenario would be tough to avoid, for me at least.
So I'm writing this blog to take a stand. I am tired of people giving me a rough go when I tell them I need 8 hours (or ideally, 9 1/4 hours - a theory well tested during my lazy grad school years) a night of sleep to feel like the best possible version of myself: it's the truth! I am tired of people telling me I could get used to sleeping less: I cannot! I am tired of being laughed at for going to bed at 9:30/10:00 to accomodate the dog's need to be up by 6:30/7: this is nothing to be ashamed of! I am proud of recognizing my body's needs and striving to be the best possible version of myself through a routine of sleep and occasional napping that allows me to meet my sleep quota and then conquer the world, even if that just means dusting and walking the dog! I want to be this (post-nap) Kristyn all the time. It's better for my relationships, my health, my mental well-being, my productivity and attentiveness at work to better my career, my waistline due to an appropriate ghrelin-leptin production, and all around just makes me feel like ME. And who wouldn't want to simply strive to feel like YOU?
So! A small cheers to some of the things I love:
- 500 thread count sheets
- king sized beds and body pillows
- heated mattress pads
- blinds shut tightly against the daylight
- earplugs
- a delicious mid-afternoon couch nap under the extra furry blanket
- a team nap with your lazy log of a dog, or snuggled on the couch with your hubs
- waking up feeling refreshed and happy about life
- no more waking up feeling disgusting and sluggish
- burrowing down with a smile on your face under your comfy covers
- giving into sleep, however much you can, whenever you can get it and not feeling guilty about giving your body what it needs
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
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