Green Grass

Restless.  I am literally restless, yes -I'm averaging 5-6 hours of sleep per night this week (terrifying for all who surround me) and it's 11:30 p.m. and I'm way too riled up in my head to go to bed, even though I am completely exhausted.

But it's actually my restless spirit that is wigging me out these days!  You'd think after travelling all over the province for work for most of each week when I'm at home I'd just put my feet up with a big smile on my face and relax and enjoy my creature comforts.  But everytime I get here, I either go manic on chores and cleaning or try to sit for a few minutes and just start poking around on the internet, looking at house prices in other cities, cottages, and plotting out strategies for me and Jeff's "next big adventure".

The problem is, most of the things I want involve a LOT of money.  Too bad cottages on Georgian Bay aren't $100,000 - I could scratch this restless itch in a second!  Too bad a fun zippy sports car is still Jeff's VW Rabbit car payments plus another five figures away.  Too bad travelling the world costs a bucketload of money - Italy freaking robbed us blind!! (no regrets though). Too bad Jeff working in a smaller/less manufacturing-oriented city would likely cause a major hit to our household budget.

And the problem with a LOT of money is I actually LOVE my job at a charity.  Recently a coworker asked if I was thinking of applying for a new position that will be coming up within our region and I said "no way - I'm super happy with my position".  And how lucky is that - I love buying land, fundraising, project management, partnership building and most of all (even bugbitten, sunburned and with rubber-boot rubby'd feet from a long week in the field) STEWARDSHIP and taking care of the fabulous nature we conserve.  I also love my staff, my coworkers, my boss, our VP and our whole freaking organization across the country.  The problem?  Charities don't pay.  We can't - ethically - would you donate to a group that rained money on their staff??  I wouldn't.  So that's fine.  Reality.  I'm honestly ok with it.  BUT... limiting... yes.

Jeff and I have tossed around a bunch of ideas lately: we could live in Toronto! (Dawn, calm down, we cannot afford the TO lifestyle, it's a no!)  we could get a cottage!  we could buy a rental/investment property! we could plan our next trip!  I could take a sabbatical! we could move closer to where I do my fieldwork!

But we don't do any of those things.  And I just wonder, and dream, and theorize, and itch.. itch... itch.  You can't help asking: what's wrong in my life that I don't feel 100% content?

I came across an interesting article tonight about the grass always being greener.  It definitely snapped things into perspective. (sidenote: I probably shouldn't be philosophizing after a week of manual physical labour and tens of kilometers of hiking each day - I am EXHAUSTED and not sure if you knew this about me.. I get a little grumpy when I'm tired ;)).  Even through my grumpy haze it prompted me to start thinking about the things I have that I should be appreciative for.  I wanted to write them down, and thought that while I was writing I should throw SOMETHING up on my blog since it's been ~100 years since I've shared anything.  I'm sure Nic and Karla are wondering if I'm still alive :)

So here's my unedited off-the-top-of-my-head (hey that's my blog's name) list of things that are great, and why my grass is actually pretty green:

#1 (it's 1' it's so #1): Jeff.  I have the best husband in the world.  A truly good, kind man who would never hurt me and I would never hurt.  My partner and teammate in life.  Who I'm still mushily in love with after almost 7 years together.  That makes me very lucky!!!

The rest are in no particular order!
My Job.  See above for why medium pay and insane travel and hours and expectations is still the most exciting thing to me after 7 years.  I've been in my current role for 2 years and am still learning the ropes and finding it very exciting and challenging, though it does get easier every day, so perhaps that explains some of the tingly itchy feelings I have.

My Friends.  I'm a lucky girl to have friends I've had since I was 3, 6, 13, 14, 19, 22, 25 and beyond.  My best friend is my sister, my Scarborough girls my extended fam and the rest of the various wonderful friends in my life make every day richer, more hilarious and make me feel loved and supported. Friendships can be ephemeral; bumpy; rocky; evolving; they can sunset; expire; fade out and they can also be the cornerstone of your day, and your life.  I actually really like the ever-changing nature of friendships and appreciate ALL my friends!  Even my fb friends who might be reading this that I haven't had a direct conversation with in a long time - it's nice to be exposed to what's up in the lives of so many people who have come and gone through my life over the years.

My Family.  I'm super close to my awesome parents, I have great in-laws (including a brand new nephew Bryson as of last week!), some fun extended family (though some crazy), and the best step-grandmother ever.  I also have the goofiest, hairiest, sweetest dog possibly in the entire world.  I'm happily childfree and have no desire to scratch this itch with that sort of experiment!  Bailey is child enough with all his "needing to be fed and cared for in exchange for unconditional love" and I can leave him in the side entrance when we go out for dinner - best of both worlds! ;)

Our Home.  We built this house here in Guelph (a city I mourned losing when I moved away to Waterloo for a mere 8 months in 2005 and vowed never to leave again!) knowing Guelph was #1 by a longshot of places we'd want to live in ON.  We're green and have good environmental practices, we have hippies and fabulous hippie related items like markets, festivals and responsible local food, we're 1 hour from TO, and my home backs on to trees which host adorable birds which come to my feeder.

My Health.  Imagine I wasn't well, how ridiculous all this navel-gazing and wondering and seeking would sound?  If I wasn't healthy, I imagine that all I'd ever want is to live a life in a home I love, with someone I love, working at a job I love that I can ride my bike to, where I can walk my stinky dog on the conservation trails, go out for dinner with my friends and tip back a beer after a long day of fieldwork.  I am so grateful to be healthy, but I hardly EVER think about that, but wow.  Honestly. Recently a wonderful person was lost from many of our lives due to health issues and it was so incredibly tragic, making everyone realize life and health really is a gift.

.....so wtf is the problem over here?

I think I just answered my own question that there is no problem.  I don't think keeping up with any Joneses (must stop hanging out with Georgian Bay cottagers through work!!!) and flinging myself into further debt to buy a life and home I can't really afford (unless I want to go back to the borderline poverty years of house poor early home ownership... I DON'T) would actually satisfy me.  I'm not actually ready to leave Guelph, and not out of fear, but because I adore it.  It's been my home since I was 18 and it was the first place I CHOSE to live in my whole life, and it wasn't something that just happened arbitrarily.  And I still choose it.

I think the answer lies in rededicating myself to achieving some personal goals (gotta review those new years resolutions again!), planning our next exciting vacation, working on my much lamented novel which I'm tentative and terrified and excited and terrified about (I hate the thought of failing at things - so I do nothing.  A sure recipe for success - no? TERRIFIED) and just learning to live in the moment a bit more. Not rushing through my dog walk, but stopping to smell the flowers (literally - peony season!), watch the birdies; not wasting away nights blabbing on the phone, or sitting on the couch in front of the tv but indulging in an ultimately more satisfying pursuit like writing or cycling; not letting date night turn into "hello.fast food.movie.bed" but instead planning something different, new and fabulous.

Final reflections (I'm feeling about 1000x better than I did half an hour ago when I started writing, thank you catharsis!!):
My grass is glowing emerald. I am lucky to live the life that I do. I just need to start rolling around in that green, lush grass it to feel, see, touch and appreciate the greenness - and maybe add a few more gardens and scatter some seed for good measure. :)

Mouse House

When this glorious weekend started, with its extra day off work (I actually get Easter Monday off but am being forced to work.. ugh!  still.. Friday off.. glorious) and sunny warm forecast, I didn't think the word I would utter the most as these three days went on would be "mouse".

Spring rocks!

It started with my attempt to fill the bird feeders.  We put the seed in an allegedly rodent-proof container in the shed for the winter.  That was our first mistake - storing birdseed essentially outdoors.  There was a funky stink to the shed when I went to fetch the birdseed at some point last winter, and I noticed the bag had been ripped into, so I quickly moved it all indoors, deciding to defer the obvious rodent issue to spring (and, really, to Jeff).  Well, spring is here!  Time to move things from inside the shed outdoors, including my resin box for birdseed - I will just simply toss the used sunflower seed/mouse poop into a yard waste bag and start fresh - AUGGGGGHHHH!!!!  There was a dishcloth in the bottom of the box that had been chewed through by a mouse obviously looking to make a cozy nest with its fibres and when I picked it up it was distinctly heavy.. because a mouse was LODGED in one of these chewed holes!  He'd somehow gotten himself stuck wriggling around in the dishcloth and that was where his life had tragically ended.  I snapped the lid shut, declared, to no one, "I'm OUT!" and backed out of the shed, locking it tightly.  Attempt #2 to rescue the box had brave Jeff discovering my strangulated mouse and also his fat friend, passed away in the bottom of the box, well fed but passed on.  We were surprised at their stupidity for how smart they clearly were to have been able to get into a mouseproof box in the first place - they had forgotten how they'd gotten in (tiniest hole for lid hinge at the back), and tried to chew their way out through the bottom of the box - which has double layers of resin for that reason.. until their sad, deyhydrated end.  And into the yard waste bag with two dead mice.

My glam weekend continued with the picking up of a winter's worth of dog poop.  Usually there's a rainy stretch of Jan or Feb where you lose the snow and can access your backyard to tackle at least half of this disgusting job - this year.. nope!  A whole winter of poop in one afternoon! (are you still reading this disgusting blog entry?  ... may I ask why?!?!)  I actually did pretty well with this nasty job (things were fairly well desiccated!) until the point where I leant down to pick up one last pile of poop only to discover it was a dead mouse.  Again... I'M OUT!  I have handled a dead mouse once in my life (http://www.sincerelygoofy.blogspot.ca/2012/01/my-week-with-ziggy.html) and would prefer to pass on that again if I don't have to (poor Jeff).

Jeff and I were walking Bailey the other morning and found him acting super strangely during his usual prance around Morning Crest park at the end of our street - he was distinctly rolling his neck in something, which he has NEVER done before but I remember all too well from Rusty's antics on the shores of Lake Ontario when I was a teenager (ewww dead fish)!  I wondered what Bailey might have gotten his nose on.  Suddenly he leaped up, ripped a huge chunk of dead grass up from the ground and starting dashing through the park with it, footloose, fancy free.  He dropped it, rolled in it some more and looked at us in delight.  Jeff and I were confused until the lady we had met in the park explained "oh, he's got a mouse house" - a mouse house.. ew.. - so I told Jeff to get the clump of grass some mouse had previously been using as a home away from Bailey so he'd go back to fetching sticks like a less gross dog.. and when (poor) Jeff picked up the grass to chuck it away he found a dead mouse inside of it.  COME ON!!!!

The last in my tale of woe is that our shed was actually being used as a mouse mansion this winter.  I can just imagine the mice bragging to their friends about it - "you should check out this place, it's huge!"  "there's unlimited amounts of seed, man!!!"  "I have the BIGGEST, COZIEST BED!".  Because some mouse or mice had decided to nest inside our lovely new patio furniture cushions, tearing out all the stuffing and cuddling themselves into a nice snuggly bed for the winter.  We just bought our patio set last spring and are so in love with it - we were so bummed to find the amount of destruction a few tiny teeth could cause.  As he pulled the last pillow down Jeff shouted "there he is!" and whipped a pillow at the shed wall, startling out a very fat, well-rested, happy looking mouse who disappeared into the depths of his mansion.  Jeff duct taped up the two pillows that had fallen victim to the mouse sleepover but the funky stink of something that had been used as a mouse home, coupled with the white trash vibe of a duct taped patio furniture pillow wasn't jiving.  Guests to our deck and firepit this summer - we are on the hunt for new cushions, I swear!!!

It's quite lovely living country-adjacent.. but your belongings becoming belongings of sneaky little furry critters is simply uncool.  The mouse squatting party ends here.  I've decided to let them vacate on their own accord (i.e. remove all food and fluffy things and hope for the best) rather than forcing them out - I am after all an animal liker at the end of the day (I was going to say "lover" but I don't LOVE mice, or stinging insects, or birdseed stealing squirrels and raccoons.. so let's go with liker).

The Mouse House is officially closed!!!!

Closed for business

Florida Fun!

What a fab week in Florida!  It's nice to be home, in that homebody way of filling the fridge with groceries, snuggling up against your favourite pillow and not living out of a suitcase - BUT.. what a great week it was.  The weather was lovely - so hot and humid that first night we got there I wondered if I might melt into a Kristyn puddle after the coldest winter in the history of eternity.  But I adapted in no time.. putting on sandals was the dream, realized.

My friend Catherine's house in Tampa is essentially a palace - the screened in pool/hot tub area where I ate breakfast and drank tea each morning was delightful and we had our own WING in the house!!  It was so nice catching up with an old friend (the saying is true - the old ones are gold :)) and getting to know her lovely hubs a bit better too.  We had a blast at the Tampa Bay Lightning/Toronto Maple Leafs game on the Tuesday night of our visit, though I was confused about an arena that offers no concessions stand selling candy (Patrick and I walked essentially around the ENTIRE place before finding my beloved cotton candy), but has a BBQ concession in every section, offering a selection of BBQ meats featuring turkey legs.  Patrick summarized: "welcome to Florida". It was weird enough being at a game in sandals and a tank top, so I decided to skip the leg.

The shopping in the states is so good that even though the dollar is currently garbage we bought so much stuff we could hardly back it back in our suitcases.  The prices at their Premium Outlets are simply insane.  I bought several pairs of high heels, convinced that because the shoes are so pretty I'll become someone who doesn't default to Birkenstocks at every turn... we'll see ;)

I caught a cold on Thursday which was a bummer, and as my face exploded all the way down to the Everglades on Friday I just kept determinedly blowing my nose, wiping my eyes and stating: "I want to see pink birds!".

Roseate Spoonbill

When I finally did see this amazing pink bird Jeff took a picture of me jumping up and down celebrating, but my puffy face was actually too scary to post to facebook/this blog - and anyone who knows me knows I'm not vain so it had to be pretty bad ;)  It's funny what you can power through when you're sick.  When there were waterbirds, mangroves and alligators at stake, I was game!  But I still am fighting the same cold and have to go wandering around a residually snowy forest and skating around on an icy pond for fieldwork on Wednesday and I'm contemplating if I can "call in sick"!  Oh Ontario April.. you have nothing on Florida in terms of biodiversity! Also, it seems cruel to be working in snow when I'm covered in itchy mosquito bites. ALSO, I'd just like to note that calling in sick is not an option when you are the only staff person in your subregion - you will only end up screwing yourself!  Stupid responsibility!!!

So: you might think our Leafs adventure turned into a misadventure after the Leafs clinched themselves OUT of a playoff spot in Tampa on Thursday night.  But no - Jeff and I were mostly resigned to our fate after the Saturday game the night before we left and were understandably sad then.  By Tuesday, we were just happy to cheer for our guys - sit in great seats (equivalent to reds at the ACC for a fraction of the cost) and by Thursday we were so excited to see them even closer (equivalent to golds/platinums at the ACC!) that we just made the most of it.  It was great being right up next to the glass for warm-up and having a chance to show James Reimer, via some enthusiastic thumbs up, that Jeff and I think he's a fantastic goaltender even if Randy Carlyle may not agree.

Our boy, Reimer, who we've cheered for since he was a mere Marlie!

Our favourite part of Thursday's game was the loser sitting in front of us who saw a deflected puck flying towards us... in the END ZONE, where you sit behind a ton of netting.... who covered his head with his hands and ducked.  We couldn't stop imitating him for the rest of the night when he wasn't looking, or randomly throughout the rest of the trip!

The hijincks were at an alltime low, so I don't really have any hilarious/ridiculous stories to share (that are blog appropriate anyways... let's just say Florida plumbing leaves something to be desired) - it was basically just an easy breezy trip filled with good friends, good food, booze, shopping, beaching, nature, nature, nature, more nature and HOCKEY.  I wish every week could be like last week.  What's a girl gotta do to win the lottery!!!  Also, what's a girl gotta do to get over a cold?  Enough already!!!

Thanks to our great hosts Cath and Pat - I enjoyed Pat's commentary on his countrymen ("river folk" from his hometown on the Mississippi, and "swamp hillbillies" from Florida) and his random accents and just enjoyed catching up with Catherine and getting to enjoy the spoils of her gorgeous new home.  Jeff paid our guest dues by putting together chairs, fixing major appliances and installing lighting fixtures but it still didn't feel like quite enough in exchange for 800 thread count sheets (which are now making my 500's feel scratchy.. dammit Kitz! FIRST WORLD PROBS!) and breakfast overlooking that beautiful back view every morning!! :)

My favourite quote of the week was Catherine's musing that you can make hell out of heaven, or heaven out of hell - sort of the idea that it's up to you how you react to any situation.  For some reason I always have one small meltdown on a vacation but I used that mantra when my stupid inflamed achilles tendon started aching over a mile away from our car - I thought.. I'm in the Everglades... don't cry.. don't freak out.. don't make hell out of heaven.  And it passed.  It's a nice thought for everyone to reflect on - are you appreciating the "heaven" you have in your own life or turning it into hell by focusing on/creating negatives?  And are you able to overcome adversity by finding the humour in it, looking for silver linings and reflecting on the big picture?  It's in the string of philosophies I enjoy that centre around what's essentially at the heart of YOLO (though I try not to use yolo too much day to day lol). Food for thought, as usual.

Ohhhhhh Canada... my home and snowy land.....
Night :)

Kings

The Kings of Leon concert was absolutely fantastic.  I wish I'd been able to write sooner, while I was still literally buzzing from the energy of the show, but it's been a BIZZZZZAY week and I'm just finally getting some time to type it all out now!

Being the tour for their new album, Mechanical Bull, I would have thought they would play basically that entire album, plus, ya know, Sex on Fire, Use Somebody and maybe if I was lucky a few of the oldies from their 2003 and 2004 albums which are the songs that hooked me when I first stumbled on this band back in '06.  BOY WAS I WRONG.. and all for the best!

I had a list of "top 5" songs in my head that I'd love to hear them play, and they played all but one of them and even included my 1' (yes, 1 prime) song that I never thought they'd play*, the song that started it all - but, wait I'll get to that..

They started out behind an opaque white curtain, where you could just see the shadows of four awesome dudes with instruments playing along to Charmer - the ridiculously catchy song from their 2007 album Because of the Times which involves a loud scream every few words - "WHOOOOOWWW!!!!".  This was exciting enough.. then the curtain dropped.  I loved the entire place going absolutely crazy when that happened.

There was video - gorgeous, crazy beautiful images like orchids furling and unfurling; nebulous, un-nameable shapes; water; milk*; colours and just incredible graphics.  Most of the time the video was overlaid by live images of the band members playing - live!  So a close-up of Caleb's face, or a sweet shot of Matt's fingers on lead guitar, or Nathan's hands flying along on the drums.  Jeff and I had spotted the camera guys scaling ladders to hanging platforms in the rafters before the show got going, and went "are those cameras?".  They were cameras.  It gave the show even more depth than it already had.  The music was enough.  Add video, and gorgeous lights and lasers, and I seriously haven't had my senses dazzled like that in awhile - maybe not since some of our worldwide travels, or perhaps the last Tool concert we went to! :)

 

Lights, video, talent - augh!

Next up: Rock City, clearly my favourite from the new album - way too fun (top 5, pick #1).  Tons of great oldies like Molly's Chambers, The Bucket, Four Kicks.. more than I ever expected, honestly.  Great choices from their new album - Temple, Tonight.  Got through the few songs I'm not crazy about - Family Tree, Back Down South (come on boys, you're southern but not COUNTRY!).  They played On Call (top 5, pick #2) which I only have a furry, fuzzy version of, so you can imagine how great it sounded LIVE!!!  I've always kinda liked the song The Immortals from their Come Around Sundown (2010) album, but for some reason the video they played behind it and the passion in Caleb's voice as he sang it reduced me to tears - ladylike corner of eyes tears, no sobbing, just to be clear.  This is still hilarious, I realize.  What was it?!  I'm still not sure!  I haven't been able to recreate the moment, not surprisingly, in the car or on my dog walks.  "Spill on the streets of stars... riiiiiiiiiiiiiide awayyyyyyy....." It will forever live on in Budweiser Gardens in London :)

I just kept yelling to Jeff "purple!" "rainbows!" - I'm easy to please

*I'd been texting my buddy Dave as we were waiting for the concert to get going, and I asked if he thought they'd play Milk, my favourite KOL song and the song that almost made him never give the band a chance because it is SO WEIRD.  Dave said "if they play Milk, most of the audience will have a "wtf" face on."  I figured he was probably right. Then..wait... did I just hear the first chords of it?!!?  I clutched my heart and Jeff's leg simultaneously.  Jeff responded by clutching my leg back and laughing "what are you doing?!".  This was the song Matt Rollwagen played for me all the way back in the spring of 2006, hanging out and drinking at Hanlon Rd. and we played it until we were all singing along: "she saw my combover, her hourglass body!"  Tim and I messed up the lyrics from school tardy to schooltarded, as is our way.  Kalo and I discussed in some depth different types of hourglass bodies.  These memories are vividly carved into my consciousness for some reason, along with images of me obsessively playing the song over and over in my Waterloo apartment, and every month and year since as it's always on my "The Good Shit" playlist on my iPod (now iPhone).  And after all that excitement, I wasn't imaging those chords - they played Milk (clearly top 5, #1')!!!  My mind was blown.  I taped the first couple of "salty leave"s just for Dave!

 



I have always adored the song Closer - my first clear memory of listening to it is driving somewhere in the middle of southwestern Ontario between St. Thomas and Stratford, hoping my GPS was going to get me to Jeff's house after a work event.  The first line is "stranded in this spooooooky town", which was so apt.  It's a gorgeous and ominous song, from the storm bubbling up in the sea to something coming closer, and closer.  I have a very fond memory of enjoying this tune with my quiet and thoughtful coworker Gary from northwestern Ontario who doesn't say much, but who later posted on his facebook that a certain sequence of songs on my iPod, starting with Closer, had turned our 2 hour car ride along the Trans Canada into a thing of wonder.  Closer is dedicated to Gary!  Also, who knew that the crazy noise at the beginning of the song was Matt, the lead guitarist, "talking" to the guitar strings with his mouth on them!?  Not this girl.  That was freaking cool. Top 5, pick #3.

Don't Matter is a great dirty rock song from the new album that was SUPER fun to rock out to!  Loved it.

Cold Desert, the last song on the 2008 album has always been a favourite (top 5, pick #4) and I was not expecting it to snow indoors!!  I just laid my head on Jeff's shoulder and watched the "snow" (which we figured was some sort of soap-like substance, that disintegrated upon touching.. very cool) fall from the ceiling. Their rendition of this already beautiful song was perfection.

I thought they were going to cut us off at Cold Desert - they had played 20 songs by that point.  I felt well and truly spoiled.  But there were 2 more!!!  The single Use Somebody, followed by a closing song that I didn't recognize and hadn't heard before.  I've figured out since that it was Trani and while it starts of kind of slow and boring, it picks up into a fantastic screaming mess by the end. I watched Caleb literally blowing out his voice singing it and felt moved deep down in my gut!! It was POWERFUL!  I have clearly since downloaded the rest of the first album that contains this gem of a song so I won't be caught off guard next show!! :)

We called for an encore, and they've only given them at about 60% of the shows on this tour... we were lucky they came back out!!  The encore was truthfully a bit of a denouement after the close with Trani, playing Crawl (blah), Black Thumbnail and Sex on Fire, the most overplayed song in the history of time.  But you know, I'd take watching them play Sex on Fire live over doing just about anything else in life.

There WILL be a next time.  This was a truly incredible experience.  I lip synched all the way home from London - rocking out quietly while Jeff snoozed beside me.  I fell asleep with Kings of Leon in my head and woke up humming them.  Bailey and I danced and sang our whole morning walk, everything somehow seeming that much lighter and happier even after only 6 hours of sleep because of the great tuneage propelling me.

The top 5, pick #5 that they didn't play was Knocked Up, from 2007's Because of the Times.  This one is extra special to both Jeff and I because after overhearing some of our friends wondering why in the world we were going to get a dog, being as busy as we already were, wondering if we could handle it (yup, I heard you guys! ;)) - we stubbornly kept looking at rescue dogs, and Jeff would sing to me when that song came on "I don't care what nobody says, we gonna have a puppy" (replacing baby with puppy).  And we got our pup. :) Haha, and yes, it takes up a shit ton of time!!! Would have been great to hear Knocked Up in concert, but like I said, there WILL be a next time, and maybe we'll get lucky!

Caleb's voice is one of the most beautiful out there. Matt is an amazingly talented guitarist.  In awe. I'm so happy to have seen it all in person.  Totally.  Worth it.

A Good Day

This winter has been upsy downsy with some seriously freaking cold dog walks, some days of feeling incredibly lazy and useless, and those times when you leave work and it's completely dark and you basically feel like sobbing......... BUT there have also been cross-country ski adventures, twinkly diamond-y blankets of snow, sundogs, and snuggly hockey games watched under big blankets, making things, overall, not so bad. 

Winter Classic under Leafs blanket with my guy

I have had the desperate WHEN IS IT GOING TO END!!!! feelings starting over the past couple of weeks, but I just remind myself that in a month it's going to be mid-March.. and once in awhile in mid-March you get a day where you get to wear NO JACKET... maybe a t-shirt... in 2012 there were even several BIRKENSTOCKS days in March.  So you never know what March can bring.. and it's right around the corner!

I'm busying myself with staying on top of my resolutions (yes, I'm not just all talk - 2.5 lbs of body fat lost; have flossed my teeth all but about 3 nights in 1.5 months.. yessss!!!; regularly studying French with the help of some free online tools.. last night I said to Jeff, without thinking, when he yawned "mon cutie est fatigue".. so I must be getting somewhere!!), backyard birding, trying to really get ahead and organized at work so I don't feel so overwhelmed when field season gets here, and catching up with friends who I see less frequently during the busy summer, which has been the best part of all!  Especially that lots of friends have lots of big, exciting news or are up for long lazy days in pjs, or pigging out to the max (sorry new year's weight loss resolution...)... this makes friend time even more wonderful!

Yes, I am a loser

Days with friends, and their model-adorable children (who are this happy in -25C weather!)

I just wanted to celebrate a glimmer of what felt like summertime today.  It was a combination of many wonderful things that all came together to create a near-perfect day.

1) I got to watch someone I went to elementary school with compete in the freaking Olympics!!!  That was super cool. You might recognize the name Katie Tsuyuki who just narrowly missed qualifying for the finals in women's halfpipe.  Watching her awesome runs today was really inspiring, exciting and filled me with Scarborough pride (stop picturing gang members.. we lived in the nice part, I swear!!).  Seeing Katie was just lovely - we lost touch after elementary school but she was one of my closest friends in grades 6-8 - what a nice way to revisit someone's life.. on national tv! :)  I definitely took a 10 a.m. break at work to stream that.. warnings from the IT department be damned!

2) Though it may seem like the main part of my job is tumbling around outside all summer long, the key thing I was actually hired do is acquire conservation land - we're on the lookout for private lands with high conservation values.. and I found one such piece of land in January.. and we signed the agreement to buy the land today!  If all goes according to plan, the property will close on April 15 and will be a part of nature, FOREVER, spared from development and other major threats.  The grassland birds are singing a happy song.. and so am I, seeing as this was the first deal I'd signed up and gotten rolling - ya!

3) After a day of crucial paperwork flying back and forth I bolted out the door and raced my car through the beautiful afternoon sunshine through Guelph to a massage appointment where I went from 100 to 0 in 4 seconds (I'm the opposite of Top Thrill Dragster).  FAB massage, so relaxing and so grateful my ridiculously good benefits programs pays full for massages.. what a nice treat!  There is nothing better than someone leaning on your crunchy shoulder with their whole body weight and feeling your muscles just melting and relenting underneath!

4) Jeff had news of his annual work bonus today (part of a profit sharing program his company provides), which is scaled based on performance.  Because he took on a massive amount of extra work this year, and the president noticed, his bonus was double what we were expecting!  The smart part of us is like "we should invest this".. the part that's probably going to win is like "we should buy new bikes!".  I have been riding the same freaking bicycle since I was 12 years old.. I think it's time for an upgrade.  Luckily my sugar daddy agrees.  I think we'll probably invest half, and splurge with the other half.  What fun is life without a little splurging!  Hooray for windfalls!  Now if we can just get to work on winning that lottery (if Dave hasn't already made off with the group winnings, that is...)

5) I was dreading the hour dogwalk I promised Bailey (and my reluctantly healthy self) because the temperature dropped off pretty quickly tonight, but once we got out there and had some good tunes pumping it reminded me how much I like walking the mutt and got us one walk closer to SUMMER!  Summer.. a time where a dogwalk involves throwing on sandals and grabbing the leash. NOT putting on big socks, flannel lined jeans, snowpants, giant winter boots, a long sleeved shirt, a fleece, your winter jacket, a hat, mitts and somedays a scarf wrapped around your face.  And don't forget the poop bag.  And your phone.  And your headphones (without music you'll never get through the cold march along the snowbanks, and will instead die of boredom).  I feel like SUCH a diva in winter!

Yes, I look like this most days

And that's all.  A spot of warmth on a chilly day that I just wanted to share with anyone who felt like a read. :)

Pizza Nova Love Story

I am over the moon thrilled for my good friends Melanie and Joe who just got engaged on Saturday.  They are your classic "offbeat" couple and I love them even more for it!  Melanie would die of embarrassment at any sort of big, showy proposal, but Joe is an endless romantic. Their wedding will be vows at city hall followed by, what else, Italian food for guests!  There has never been a soul more in love with pizza than my Mel.  She shared her "engagement story", as written by her fiancée Joe, which he submitted to Pizza Nova (which makes me laugh hysterically and cry a little out of the sweetness of it all) - Joe's parents were engaged shortly after a meal at Pizza Nova over thirty years ago, so it really is a special place!

Please enjoy some romance, on this chilliest of Mondays...

"At lunch, she made table talk, almost regretting that her palette found Nova's cheese sticks, and pizza, simply too delicious.  She claimed that the tastes, so perfect, had brought her to a point where trying other items on the new menu seemed almost impossible.  Finding this little lament pleasing, I said she need not fret, and carried on with my own grilled calamari.

     Shortly after our meal, we were walking home, passing a familiar courtyard.  Suddenly I had the overwhelming desire to bend on one knee and ask this woman for her hand in marriage.  Surely, the contentment of another satisfying visit to Nova gave me the conviction to propose, and she the willingness to accept.  Doubters of this equation, we are not.

     Though unscripted, our move to commit immediately following a dining experience at your restaurant, is nothing new in my family.  Three, plus, decades prior, my parents shared a wheel at Pizza Nova, then got engaged an hour later.

      Besides fresh basil, what else are you guys putting in the sauce over there?"

 

Congrats to Mel and Joe, the most die-hard Argo fans, costume-lovers, pizza eaters and funniest couple I know.  We can't wait to celebrate with you this spring!

2014 Resolutions

I haven’t made my new years resolutions for 2014 yet, but have been tossing a few ideas around in my head (making sure to floss every day, getting back to my wedding weight/focusing on strength training, learning French, juicing more……).  I thought sitting down to write about them would be the easiest way to hammer out this activity. So I started by reading my resolutions from last year.

Oh....  They’re almost exactly the same as what I was planning to put together for this year.  So of course, this forces some introspection.  Thoughts about willpower.  Musings on the past year.  Here comes a stream of consciousness (it’s basically a tiny novel, but, hey, you’re off work today and tomorrow right? :).

2013 was not the wonderful, easy-breezy, idyllic year I had planned for me and Jeff after our 2012 of scrimping and squinching to get our debt paid off, and the horror that was his (now former) rental property.  Getting Bailey in mid-January was life changing, but at first it was not an all around good life change.  His stomach was an absolute mess from January until the END OF APRIL.  We struggled with different treats, different foods, cooking him white rice and boiled chicken for dinner every night for weeks, withholding wheat, etc. etc. and all seemingly to no avail.  Add onto this the sudden major life changes of having to get up early, walk kilometers and kilometers every day, mostly in the dark dead of winter and blustery winds/snow of the longest winter in history and I was basically a ball of stress between Jan – Apr.  I can’t really remember a time in that window when I felt relaxed.  Even when I was out with friends, I’d sometimes pop home to let him out/check on him to make sure my side entrance wasn’t covered in ... anything… When I took my trip to Florida at the end of March to visit Michelle and “get away from it all”, I thought about Bailey, Jeff and home a lot (though it was a still a pretty ridiculously sweet trip).  I remember having friends over from out of town at the end of April, feeling like the dog’s stomach was finally getting it together, then watching him be horribly sick in the corner of the backyard while my stomach knotted up into a tight ball – it basically ruined my night at the bar, and I nearly punched a bouncer in the face when he made me GO HOME TO GET MY ID (I’m 30 and I’ve been going to Ebar since I was 22 – cut a girl a break, asshole!).  Finally, we found a food/diet regimen that worked for Mr. B, I adjusted to those early mornings (made much better when he wasn’t crated anymore and waking me up by eating his bed every morning at 6:30 a.m.) and things seemed like they were gonna be allllright. 

 

Then shit hit the fan at work in a pretty major way and I spent most of May and June way down in the dumps. In the summer I gave a shoutout to my amazing friends and family for talking me through a really tough situation and being so supportive, but you can never say thank you enough, so thank you, all of you.  I learned a ton from the situation – about myself, about several of my coworkers (who are major facets in day to day life at a place with 30 employees) and about how everything in the world is not always going to work out nicely and be free of drama  - but it’s how you handle it and show resilience and bounce back that makes every crappy situation an opportunity to learn and grow.  Unfortunately, what happened in May/June resulted in me having to take on an additional 2 weeks of fieldwork per month in June, July, August, September, October and November – leaving not much other time for the fieldwork I’d originally planned on, along with my in office work (like.. securing land?  kind of an important part of my new role!!!) or having any sort of work-life balance.  I spent a large number of those months sleeping away from home, working weekends, working 12 hour days, or driving hundreds of kilometers in a day.  I finally came indoors on the evening of November 9, 2013 and have been living a basically perfect, blissful life ever since. ;) I got caught up on house projects, time with friends, time with family, in office work, and slid back into the routine of my “usual” life which I’ve realized is so special because of its simplicity and small joys.  I even was so inspired by all the free time that I decided to challenge myself to be a better person, look into new volunteering opportunities and tackle Jeff’s and my “2013 To Do List” which consists of a crazy number of tasks around the house that Jeff and I ambitiously set for ourselves post-poop-stravaganza with the dog last spring.  It’s been a wonderful 2 months.  But 2 months does not a year make and here is a rather sad report back on my 2013 resolutions:

Juice: I kept up juicing for most of January but because of the cost of one small jug of juice (roughly $8) and the amount of raw material and fibre wasted, I decided it wasn’t sustainable in the long term.  I picked it up again during this Christmas vacation, and really did miss it.  Such a hit of nutrients!  I think I’ll be an “occasional juicer” but won’t add it to my resolutions for 2014 because it’s just too pricey and wasteful for me to rationalize doing more frequently than that.

Learn French: I didn’t touch my French tutorials online again after we picked up Bailey on January 16.  The end of life as I knew it ;)  In late November 2013 I asked bilingual Viv if she would consider teaching me French and she was super into it.  We’ve had 2 lessons, and I’ve learned a lot so far.  This one is definitely back on the resolution list for 2014.

Stand Up for Myself: Done, and done and done and done, in several places in my life.  Success!  Not an easy one, but a muscle I WILL keep flexing for sure.

Floss: Umm.  I still don’t know why I can’t make myself do this.  BACK ON THE LIST!  I need some sort of great inspiration – maybe I’ll put a picture of a pair of gingivitis-y gums up on my bathroom mirror.  Or try to find a new method of WILLPOWER – a system of rewards?  First thing in the morning, I just want to GO and last thing at night I just want to SLEEP!  Does this mean flossing at my desk is the only thing that’s going to work for me!?  Must make it work!  ON THE LIST!

I had to scale down the size of this picture because of how terrifying it is.

Get Back to My Wedding Weight: Well, a big thanks to Mr. Bailey for making sure I’m taking my 10,000 steps every day.  1x – 2x daily walks around our neighbourhood have kept my weight at a reasonable level – usually only about 5 lbs away from the wedding goal weight.  Unfortunately, I’ve noticed my pants aren’t fitting as well and think it’s because after a back injury last spring I stopped lifting weights and doing strength training.  So, instead of setting a number on the scale goal, this year’s weight loss goal is about amount of body fat lost.  And it’s 5 lbs by the end of February (I really want to do it before Crazy Field Season Part II hits, because that 2 weeks of monthly fieldwork in one area PLUS all my other work remains a reality until August 2014).  So: 5 lbs of fat – adios!

Two new additions to the list are:

Read 5 Classic Novels - I read two in one month after I “came inside” in November, so basically I’m pretty amazing ;) Almost done ALL the Brontes!

 

Be a Better Listener – this one is as simple as it sounds – listen, rather than waiting for my turn to speak.  And I find myself frequently relating similar tales/experiences to help a person understand their situation better, but I think sometimes it’s better to just focus on what the other person is saying (and what they’re NOT saying) and help them try to resolve and work out what they’re thinking about.

So, after a semi-disappointing 2013 (and I hope it doesn’t seem like a big string of “excuses” – I’d rather call them “reasons” or “life”) I welcome 2014, a year of learning French, flossing, losing (and maintaining the loss of) 5 lbs of fat, reading 5 classic novels, and being a better listener.

I know you can’t control the madness life throws at you sometimes (and my madness, when put in any sort of perspective was completely minor compared to the things that can happen in this life) but you can control how you react to it, how you stay on track with your goals in the face of it, and how you perceive it – so I will definitely continue to work on all those things, and hopefully grow a little more!

 

Happy New Year!!!