Adventures of a New Cyclist

Cycling definitely runs in my family.  My grandpa was an avid cyclist, cycling into his 80s.  His kids, my mom and her brother, picked it up bigtime and it was a usual event in my house growing up to have my mom disappear for most of a Saturday morning out on a ride (often meeting my grandpa for lunch afterwards at the IBM country club - this is such a lovely image in my mind! :)).  My mom put me on a bike when I was pretty young, and I rode it pretty regularly until I was about 12-13.  Then I was a teenager, rebelling against anything that could be considered uncool (though rollerblading and wearing terrible clothes made the cut.. go figure!).  I brought my bike to university, where it sat for three years, unused in our shed.  I gave up after that.  I finally picked it up again in 2011, in my valiant attempt at wedding weight loss.  It was terrifying getting back on a bike after all those years off - I felt so unstable!!  But once I started riding it to work occasionally I was feeling back in the saddle (small issue: was same bike purchased when I was 11).  Busy summers don't leave a lot of time for riding, and last summer my mom said "if you haven't taken it up by now, you never will.  I'm giving up hope."  Never one to turn down a challenge, or not be that rebellious teenager doing the opposite of what my mom said, I picked up a hybrid bike this spring and went out a grand total of at least 7x this summer.  Not exactly Tour de France material, but I am on the bike and loving it!  My most fun ride was me and Jeff's massive tour of Guelph that took us all the way from the far east end of town to the city limit on the west and down to Pam and James' for a much needed water refill on the "way home"!  I clocked around 25 km that night, which was awesome.  I also loved riding Canada Day weekend with Jeff when we got to watch a variety of fireworks on the way home as the darkness settled over the sky.  My most successful ride was 35 km with my parents and Jeff in the flat and fabulous Niagara-on-the-Lake.  Maintaining a speed of over 20 km/hr was a breeze down there! (around these parts I'm 18 km/hr average if I push!).  But taking the cake for the category of most ridiculous, hijinx-filled ride goes to: TODAY!

Jeff was slammed after a long day of roofing yesterday and took to the couch pretty hard today.  Inspired by the rapidly approaching end of field season (3 more days this week, then I come insiiiiiiide!!!!!!) and its promise of return to regular life, I decided to kick start my much talked about/dreamed about "healthy lifestyle" today, instead of waiting for Friday when I'm officially done and done (healthy today logically followed behind pizza and Reese peanut butter ice cream sandwich Saturday - oh it was so good, as I eat my bowl of dry popcorn... noooo junk food why must you be so delicious?!!).  So off I went on a ride that I started to get pretty excited about when I decided I'd stick mostly to conservation trails and parks in Guelph.  Jeff's been riding his new road bike all summer, so me and my hybrid have been mostly sticking to roads with him.. but I looove a gravel trail ride and the views of nature they tend to afford!! :)  Eastview Park was amazing!  The fall colours are already spectacular, and as I have a "thing" for dappled sunlight, it made for the perfect jaunt around the ~4 km loop through there.  I had a "mountain biking" moment when I realized the place Bailey and I usually cut across by foot is a steep grassy hill, which had a mud puddle at the bottom today after the big rain this morning - and let's be clear, the most adventurous thing I've ridden on is a gravel trail, or sometimes a moment of grass to get around an obstacle - so I just held my breath, pushed my bike down the tiny, 1 m hill, and came out alive, much to my surprise. ;) The gravel trails around the city were full of washouts today after the rain, so I was having to do some slick maneuvering (or so I thought... foreshadowing alert!).  I rode the craziest path ever between the Angel's plaza and the river downtown - it was a bumpy disaster, but I just made sure my bike's suspension was unlocked, and came out the other side in one piece!  Great views along the Speed River.. more of that dappled sunlight.  And I emerged at Gordon, wanting to head east across the road to pick my way home.  Of course there were 97,000 cars coming down both sides of Gordon, at all times, unrelenting, as I tried to make a left out of the driveway of the Speed River park.  I finally gave up and hung a right, crossing further up the street.  It was at this time I noticed another cyclist in front of me, heading down a dead end side street so instead of heading back along the north side of the Eramosa River as planned, I decided to see where this guy was going!  He got to the end of the street and whizzed right, disappearing into the bushes.  So I decided to follow him! Let me be clear, I never saw this clearly professional mountain biker again he was going so fast, and before I knew it the trail "we" were on had seriously narrowed to one of those one lane dirt trails heading deep into the forest, and suddenly I was a mountain biker....

Flashback to 2008 - my oped was published in the Environmentalist punishing mountain bikers who stray off trail.  I'll include my favourite of all the forums that bashed me for weeks - this one goes on for 25 pages! happy reading! - http://www.pinkbike.com/forum/listcomments/?threadid=26017  My only regret about this article was not stating sooner that I'm not opposed to mountain biking ON TRAILS.. it's freeriding (riding off trail) that was my concern.  However, for some reason (dramatic flair?) I saved the mention of sticking to trails until the very end, and the short attention span of a population of morons led to some fun e-harassment including threats to me, my home, threats of showing up at my workplace, facebook stalking/angry messages, etc. etc. - awwwwwesome!  This did a great job of shaping my view of the community of mountain bikers, to the point where even though I'd initially not been opposed to riding on trails (they're already ruined, so just stay on them!) I became a hater of mountain bikers as a whole.  Unfair to paint them all with the same brush, I know, especially that people I'm quite fond of like my husband are mountain bikers, but it was involuntary in the face of all the evil! ;)

**rant over

So here I am, suddenly riding through a forest on a very narrow trail.. on my relatively narrow wheels, and my average speed has dropped down to a sad 11 km/hr.   I'm making my terror face nearly the entire time, trying to navigate around roots, sticks and especially rocks, which keep knocking my back wheel and sending my back end askew.  AH!  I have to admit riding through the puddles was a bit fun.  However, this puddle was a bit unmanageable:

I like the pathetic attempt at a boardwalk - that made me laugh

After I'd finished portaging over this (I'm sure that's the correct word right ;)), I realized I must be about halfway toward my destination of Victoria Rd.  I figured this trail must emerge somewhere around there, as some more recreational trails can be found on the other side of Victoria and I'd hiked those before.. wide, gravelly, lovely... just gotta get there!  Well.. I didn't connect the dots that when I went under the giant bridge, that was Victoria.. I just had my eyes trained on the constantly changing ground, trying to avoid those damn giant boulder rocks!  A couple of times I gave up and walked my bike - navigating boulders uphill.. ummm.. I have enough trouble riding uphill on paved roads, no thanks!  I passed hikers and was completely confused about where they'd came from as it seemed I'd been in the depths of the wilderness between the Eramosa River and god knows where for at least 2 hours by bike (reality: I was back there for almost 40 minutes - RunKeeper keeps my exaggerations to a minimum.. but still.. that's ridiculous).  Suddenly I'm riding beside railroad tracks and feeling extremely disoriented.  But I passed a runner, and a hiker, and knew I must be somewhere near civilization. I had to "portage" again over the tracks which was very disorienting (but I was relieved to see the trail on the other side of the tracks when it had looked like it was just going to end and leave me stranded on the tracks!).  As I continued my silly adventure, I found that every time I looked up to try to enjoy the view or orient myself I would careen right off the trail due to my terrible sense of balance and coordination.  So I just trained my eyes downwards and kept on my way.  Finally.. cars!  Then I had the sad realization that this was going to be Stone Rd., wasn't it.  Yes... Stone Rd it was.  And there, parallel to the nonsense 1 foot wide rut I'd been riding on was a wide gravel trail for strollin' and hybrid bikin'.  Insert Sideshow Bob stepping on rake-esque "yeeuhhhhh-ahhhh" here.  Anyways, emerging onto a road quite far south from where I lived I realized I had two options: to go UP Stone Rd. W to Victoria (a kinder journey home), or go UP Stone Rd. E to then go UP Watson in the direction of home (Watson = entirely uphill).  Or there was the potential of heading DOWN Watson and riding off into oblivion, possibly laying down in a creek and waiting for coyotes to eat me, but somehow, unbelievably that road actually goes UP as well (Guelph: the city that scoffs in the face of science!).  While I contemplated where to go, I went to take a long haul of water from my water bottle as a reward for making it out of the forest alive, and ended up with a giant clod of mud in my mouth.  Nope, you can't make this stuff up.  So picture me riding, spitting and and freaking out along Stone Rd., then spitting water onto the mouthpiece of the water bottle to "wash" it.  Delightful.  Mouth rinsed, I decided that UP Stone and UP WATSON I would go.  After a fun moment in the Stone/Watson intersection where I tried not to lose all my momentum with a driver who was obviously unaware it was a 4 way stop, and me making lots of what I thought were helpful hand explanations, I bombed through the intersection, past that damn patch of Phragmites, and started my long journey uphill home.  But as soon I made that left turn I was smacked in the face with an insane 30 km/hr headwind coming from the north.  MY GOD!  I just kept pedaling, and pedaling, relieved when I could finally hide from traffic on the conservation trails near-ish to my house, so I could ride in gear 4 (I'm usually somewhere around 15-18! I swear!) at a snail's pace.  I almost cried at the last hill on my journey.. my legs were burning and my butt and back were so sore from all that bouncing around the forest. But I held it together and miraculously made it home.

I rolled into my house, literally caked with mud, cheeks aflame, helmet-freed hair a sad disaster and crawled up the stairs to a waiting Jeff, who asked "tough ride?".  "Yes," I replied.  "I accidentally went mountain biking for an hour, then rode for 20 minutes straight uphill into the wind."

BUT I managed to put in 25 km which is nothing to shake a stick at in hilly Guelph. And it was a GREAT workout on this healthiest of Sundays. And my bubble bath afterwards was the best thing that had ever happened to me.  AND I certainly had a new wild adventure and you can't have too many new, wild adventures in this life... even if you spend a solid 40 minutes wincing your best terror face, and realizing that 2006 Op-ed Writing Kristyn had it right: she is most certainly NOT into mountain biking!!

"Portaging" on my crazy trail-  I'd already decided to blog about this, so took this pic as I know my blogs are a bit word heavy.  Perhaps I shall include a couple more things to amuse you..

Kilometers 14 - 19: the path of misery

This is my bike, only I have the 2013 model and it's silver with purple writing (kinda girly but was a great sale :))

Riotous

I just want to keep riding my Riotfest high from the weekend, because weekdays are significantly less fun than spending time in the beautiful outdoors with good friends watching great bands perform!  Who designed this life anyways?  Why can't I do that every day?! ;)

Just a quick shout out about what was so great about my weekend.  And let me clarify that the name of the festival reflects its punk rock roots but it's turned into more of an eclectic mix of artists from all different genres, all with roots in rocking out :)  When I told people I was going to "Riotfest" they seemed scared.  My financial controller told me to have a good time watching "The Curse" - I corrected "it's the CURE!" - "ok.. bye".

The Food
When there isn't a single healthy thing to eat it is 100% acceptable to have ice cream for lunch, pizza for dinner, and beer for hydration on Day 1.  Poutine for dinner, funnel cake for dessert and, again, beer for hydration made up Day 2.  Excellent.  What was that I'd said last week about getting back on the healthy train?  Ok, ok, hold on, I will ;)

Dawn's face full of funnel cake is for sure the best part

The Weather
We had two excellent days of late summer weather.  Cold September didn't disappoint!  After the 40C Friday we'd just expereinced, 23C Saturday and Sunday were more than welcome!  Gorgeous sunshine, clear skies, cool nights (perfect for sweaters, or being shoulder to shoulder with a million sweaty strangers for warmth) - awesome!  The rain on Friday night had left Downsview Park a muddy disaster but at least we all knew that going in and wore shoes we didn't mind having to throw out at the end of the weekend.

The Hijinx
Of course there were some of those.  They included the two hour journey from Liberty Village to Downsview Park (at some point during the weekend I saw something on Google maps that cited the distance between the festival and downtown as only 11 miles which was very upsetting for 2 hours of my life I'm never getting back).  The subway full of teenagers in concert t-shirts and girls in short shorts displaying upper leg tattoos (discreetly coded by Dawn and I as "LTs") was a bit worrying on the way in.  I'm happy to report though that the average age was much closer to 23 than 16 - ya!  I am getting so tired of feeling like a grandmother at concerts.  Though at no moment did I feel more like a grandma than during Metric, when we'd jockeyed hard for a spot near the front and as a result found ourselves surrounded by towering, redwood-like young boys (I asked one how tall he was - 6'5 - and there were four of them), drunken moshpitters (no!!!) one of which kicked me hard in the shin (took everything I had not to kick him back), and the guy who stood so close to Dan they were essentially spooning.

Note Dan is turned sideways to reduce the sexuality of the encounter with this young man

My Best Friend
Just a shout out to Dawn who knew how important seeing The Cure would be for me and shelled out nearly $200 for a ticket so she could come along with me.  She also rocked out and sang along to The Cure even though her knee was killing her from standing all day and she was clearly exhausted.  I hope I was able to make "birthday fest" really fun for her to say thanks for making my summer by joining me at this concert AND letting me sleep in her bed AND letting me sleep in as late as I wanted in the morning.  She's a gem and a half, that one!

I was threatened that I wasn't to show this picture for punishment of death so I cropped her head - what a badass festival goer!  Dawn rocking out to Billy Talent.  

And of course a shout out to Dan who made sure that I had an excellent vantage points for all the bands I wanted to see.  Both Dawn and Dan's line of the weekend was "ya, I've heard OF them". What troopers - best concert buddies ever! :)

The Freaking Bands
I don't even know where to start.  It wasn't just the big names and the closers that were amazing.  It was like everyone was amazing!  We started with Taking Back Sunday - they were great!  AWOLNATION - I like one song (who doesn't love Sail) but found myself just dancing along the whole time their performance had so much energy!  Brand New has fallen off my radar since the days of Sic Transit Gloria.. Glory Fades but it was so great hearing them (and that song! my 22 year old self thought this video was the greatest thing of all time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3YVKTxTOgU) again even if there was a drunk shirtless guy rolling around on the grass in front of me during the performance and I was alone with him for about 20 minutes while Dawn and Dan got food.....

Death from Above 1979 are another band I like, but of course now love after watching them perform.  The lead singer, in his weird white shorty overalls and no shirt, made fun of Barrie and Orillia and was immediately warmed to my heart.

Death from Above 1979

We checked out Billy Talent next who thankfully played songs from their only good album (first one) that I wanted to sing along to.  Luckily we escaped before Dawn had a chance to do her rendition of "Nothing to Loooooose!!!" (only Katie will understand that reference :)).  We left so we could grab a good spot for The Cure (which was obviously my band of the night) though this meant saying bye to Ryan, my former soccer buddy and neighbour, who I'd been trying to find all day via text and then actually physically looking for at Billy Talent, and then gave up.  Of course he ended up standing exactly right beside me at Billy Talent and it took us at least 10 minutes to notice this.  Haha.

THE CURE WERE UNREAL.  I don't want to be boring and gush and gush but I will just say that Robert Smith is about a million years old and still one of the most talented singers, musicians, performers that I know.  Great energy, hilarious tiny dance moves and played hit after hit including Just Like Heaven, my top favourite song from age 7 through to right now when it still makes my Top 5 Favourite All Time Song List.  Check out my boy, still rocking hard to Just Like Heaven, nearly 30 years later:

That was just Day 1!!  I swear, I'm trying to be brief here :)  Day 2 we came back a little later to save our grandparent feet from another full day of walking/standing.  This meant I got to have brunch with the lovely Nicole at a lovely restaurant downtown so obviously the day was off to a good start (did I mention I also got to sleep in and have a perfectly uninterrupted sleep with no snoring Jeff or crying Bailey? OH MAN good start to the day! ;)).  I also had an unplanned couch nap which was probably a good thing as I'd been so sick all week!  Ok.. so we're back!  Ready to rock!  Dan was sure I'd like the Dropkick Murphys if I liked Great Big Sea but they were a bit too badass for my Celtic heart.  Plus they talked about the Leafs losing to the Bruins in the playoffs in 2013 which actually hurts my heart to think about and was painful to type just now, so they lost major points.. but still rocked out pretty hard.

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE were fantastic!

Death Cab - photo by Short Kristyn

Death Cab - photo by Tall Ryan (it's like we were at different shows)

I felt a bit like I was missing a limb watching them without Dave who's been with me all three times I've seen them but Dawn made up for it by turning around at least 10x to exclaim "this song is so Dave Cristo!".  Haha.  I loved Ben's business casual attire while he sang just beautifully and played songs I'd forgotten all about and ones that totally hit the right notes, like Long Division, which I've tributed by listening to 10x in the past three days.  I also dug Codes and Keys (their 2011 album that got lost in the shuffle and I never listened to fully) out of my CD case (grandma alert pt. 3) and listened to it all day today.. simply lovely.  So that was a resurrection of an old love that I am so grateful for!  And frig, this night just kept going!  THE NATIONAL! METRIC! Who I don't even like anymore but put on an amazing show and admittedly made me a bit emotional during the part where the whole audience got to sing/finish Breathing Underwater.  During this show, however, I was touched, kicked, had my ear sung into by the monotone guy, laughing hysterically at the madness and craning my neck over the Sea of Tall for a view - I was not feeling the love of the crowd at the end of this set but at least it makes for our most ridiculous memories of the weekend.

Metric - discernible only by the order these pictures were in ;)

For City and Colour I was happy to watch from the back of the crowd.  Not sure why Dallas slowed down everything so much, and butchered a fave of mine, Coming Home, by Mr. Jonesing the tune of the song so no one could sing along.  I'm coming home, you jerk!  He redeemed himself with a few goodies, capped off by Two Coins which I sang all the way to my car - so he's still in my good books.  Especially that I could just listen to that voice all life long.

Some aggressive nosing out of the parking lot (who parks anywhere but right at the front? not my problem you didn't think of it, assholes!), a cruise along the 407 blasting Transatlanticism and I was home ("'cuz it's too important - to stay the way it's beeeeeee-eeeeen!"). Exhausted but on a total concert high - which I still totally am - can you tell?!

Music is most certainly my drug of choice.

The Edge of the Cliff

As a preview to this post, please feel free to peruse this one from spring 2012.  Back then, I was contemplating the 2 Kristyns that live within me - the really healthy one who cooks, exercises regularly and doesn't fall off the wagon of a healthy lifestyle everytime a tasty treat is presented to her (let's face it.. this life is full of tasty treats!) and the one who relishes a slovenly life of chilling out on the couch, elbow deep in a tub of ice cream, grinning wildly.  Somewhere between these 2 Kristyns I was hoping to find a balance, and a healthy lifestyle.  That was 2 years ago.. I'm still on this mission.

This past March I had a really excellent conversation with someone who challenged me to put away my scale, my bodybugg, my measuring tape and all my other weight loss/weight maintenance paraphenalia and really try to live in between these two Kristyns.  The principles are the same I outlined all the way back in March 2012:
- eat relatively well, focusing on cooking healthy meals at home
- stop eating when you're full (we talked a bit about punishment eating, where you're full but for some reason you're almost mad at yourself and keep cramming it in?  YIKES!)
- allow yourself to have treats when you want them, knowing treats will always be available so there's no need to eat ALL THE TREATS
- stop measuring health by the number on the scale and instead use how well your clothes fit and how you feel
- exercise a few times a week

It was really weird to stop counting calories for the first time in as long as I can remember.  Over the past 6 months, some counting has crept back in (when something is both a lifelong habit and an effective way to measure how much you're (over)eating, it's hard to keep it at bay!) but for the most part I just tried to focus on putting healthy things in me as much as I could and stopping eating when I was full.  It's not that easy though, is it?  I don't always stop when I'm full, because some food is delicious!  Especially the stuff that's really bad for me!  UGH!

I have greatly enjoyed the reprieve from the scale.  My pants all still fit (somewhat..) so I know that I don't need to be on the scale having the battle with those 2-3 pounds that likely don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things.  Plus, does this happen to anyone else, I noticed that when I'd be down a few pounds I'd reward myself with eating.. and when I was up a couple of pounds I'd be sad and comfort myself with eating.  Not a particularly effective strategy!  I actually have only been weighed ONCE in 6 months (for a former scale addict, this is crazy!) and it was at the doc's office and I gotta say I didn't LOVE the number, but it wasn't the worst thing I've seen (up about 8 lbs from my wedding weight for a reference point to anyone following this silly journey).  With my summer of nearly non-stop hiking when I'm out in the field, plus at least 1-2 dog walks per day with Bailey, at least I know I am relatively mobile and therefore can`t pack on 20 lbs without trying REALLY hard! I worry though about how much precious muscle has turned to flab and how my heart and other valuable are functioning without high intensity cardio - wish I could know more about the inner workings of me.. it might be an interesting wake up call!

All that aside, I feel that I'm teetering on some sort of edge here. I've barely been cooking, and that means dinner mostly consists of whatever's in the fridge/garden/pantry which isn't always the best thing.  Accidentally planting 24 tomato plants instead of the 6 I'd planned for mean there are so many cherry tomatoes I'd feel guilt NOT to make caprese salad almost every day which has been great.  However, the all too tempting bowl of cereal or peanut butter on toast dinner looms.. and with that the all too troublesome "I don't want to eat cereal for dinner.. what can I pick up from x local fast food restaurant?!".  So while I'm managing to stay on the edge of this cliff, which I picture shaped as a pair of my jeans which still.. JUST BARELY.. fit... I wanted to take a moment to check myself.. before I wreck myself.. and have an honest chat with myself and the internet about my plan going forward to ensure I can cling to this side of jeans fitting and a healthy life.  I have absolutely no idea what is about to come out of my fingertips onto the keyboard!

In an ideal world everyone in my life would stop encouraging me to eat badly because "we're out!" "it's a treat!" "how often do you get dessert anyways?" (often, people, the answer is OFTEN!).  I already comfort eat the crap out of life when I'm in the field.  When I walk 15km a day in rubber boots or got my shoe stuck in ANOTHER mucky wetland (at least 10x this season), you can bet I'm going to be packing in some ice cream that evening.  So my life isn't exactly some healthy beacon during the week, which would allow for gratuitous eating all weekend long. I get the sense this is what most of my peer pressure friends and family do, so news bulletin that the weekends are often my chance to redeem myself!!!  If anyone is reading this who hangs out with me regularly, please help me resist the all to great temptation that is junk food.  Maybe we can all mind our own foody business and then this pressured group eating will stop. And don't get me wrong, I'm as guilty of it as the next person.  If I'm eating badly, you're coming down with me! There`s also the contagious eating that happens without any peer pressure at all. Last night my neighbours put out a giant platter of candy and chips while we watched Bachelor in Paradise in our pjs together.  Had they not been all over the chips and candy I probably would have sat back instead of diving in with my face.. but there they were, two people who I consider fit and healthy, eating away.. well if they can eat all the candy, so can I!  Such a bad mentality.  I've got to be more on point with thinking about what I want to put in my body, what I want to consume and let's be honest, what I should and should not consume and let that be my guiding force - not the actions, and words of the people around me. To the end of guilt/group eating! (because if I say "I'll try".. I probably won't.  Must just do.)

Cooking.  If I was tech savvy enough to find an emoticon that was sobbing, I would use that.  I really like cooking, but I've had absolutely no desire to cook for the past ~4 months.  It was like after Italy no food could be that good, so dinner was to be cheese and crackers.  Jeff has also fallen off the cooking wagon, hard, onto a bowl of yogurt and a box of protein bars.  We are not helping one another.  We don't know why, but neither of us feels like cooking AT ALL so we barely do. Anytime we make a nice meal, we rave about how great it is, and how we should do this more often.  I don't know what the hindrance is.. my intern Laura told me that she spends about 1 hour per night cooking, consuming and tidying up after dinner.  To me, 1 hour is worth it's weight in gold during the busy summer and I can't even imagine doing that.. or finding the energy or motivation to do that.  I feel like I'm super bored of all my staple dishes and anything interesting I want to make I don't have all the ingredients for, and I`m probably not going to make it to the store before I`m ravenous for dinner, so gimme the cheese and crackers!  I'm hoping that the return to regular life that accompanies the onset of fall will with it spur a desire to cook.  Part of the truth is I have always liked baking more than cooking.. but that only yields sugary, floury, fatty results.. delicious ones but not as nutritionally sound as basically anything that I might cook for dinner.  At this point I would like to give a shout out to parents who have to work, take care of kids and cook due to needing to put vegetables into your childrens mouths.  You're my heroes - don't know how you do it (necessity?  don't think I'll be trying that experiment though! ;)) - and would I be able to borrow you for a few weeks to come cook me some wholesome dishes and get me excited about cooking again?

Exercise.  To add to my ridiculous list of injuries that forced me to give up running, always a staple part of my cardio program, I injured my Achilles tendon this spring.  So put the already buggered left knee, left hip, the upper and lower back in there, and basically all I'm left with is arms and neck, both of which are attached to my upper back which hurts pretty much all the time.  Plus, working towards ropy forearms and a toned neck isn't my idea of motivating. ;)  I think the answer here is to power through the pain, starting gently and slowly, to build up all the muscles I've been neglecting over the years due to fear of injury and of course put all the emphasis on activities I can do.. which mostly just includes walking and that's only if I stretch out my calves really well so my Achilles don't hurt.  On that note, would anyone like to trade bodies with me?  No takers!?  That's outrageous!  I guess I should just be grateful that I can walk, skip, jump and play with my puppy even if I've got creaks and crinks at the ripe old age of 31.

So those seem like three good pillars to work around.  Get exercise back in my life (when I'm done being sick.. this weekend I could barely walk up the stairs without keeling over!).  Cook a couple of interesting/healthy meals a week when I'm home.  Learn that I'm in control of what I put in my mouth, not anyone else, and when I've had enough treats in one week (and I know where that breaking point is) say to myself "let's be nice to our body and not eat that".  My stomach, inside and out, will probably thank me!

It was a lovely idea, this "don't care and it will all work out".  I definitely like some of the principles behind it, like keeping my scale tucked away in the closet and using my pants as my measuring device.  But I think I was a little too naive, and broken, to figure I could throw all the rules out the window and still achieve the level of fitness and health I want.  Those things take work, and it's work I've put in before and will be more than happy to put in again.

Now, downstairs to eat caprese salad #178 of the season, followed by some delicious mango I just thawed (Costco frozen precut mango people, that stuff is the sh*t!) and 2 squares of dark chocolate to keep me sane.  Tonight if I'm feeling any better (sick days mostly just make you feel frustrated you can`t do all the things you want to do with all your free time!) I may cook us up something using the ever-growing pile of untouched meat in the freezer and surprise Jeff.  I'll have to report back to keep me honest about what I served us, and hoping that result will not be "two bowls of raisin bran".  Though once again - there is no try is there?  I WILL make some dinner tonight and be grateful that I'm able to access healthy ingredients and have a nice kitchen to cook in, and 2 healthy legs to stand on.  Hoorah!

Stay tuned...

Summer, Don't Go!!!!

Usually at this time of year I listen to everyone complain about summer ending - back to work, back to school, back to jeans, back to the slow trek towards winter - and I nod along, all the while thinking "I CAN'T WAIT!".  I am a hardcore autumn addict.  The trees slowly sloughing off their leaves, the smell of the leaves in the air, the colour of the leaves..  wait there's got to be more that I like than leaves... those bluest of blue skies, wearing my riding boots and favourite suede coat again, and the crispness in the air that typically I've missed all summer long.  I'm also bidding GOOD RIDDANCE to field season, usually, which has (usually) tortured me with at least 15-20 full days of murderously hot fieldwork where I feel like there is a hot towel over my face I'm being forced to breathe through, where I slurp my camelback to completion well before the day is over (those are thirsty days, lemme tell ya) and where I have to choose all my clothes and undergarments super carefully due to the inevitable chafing that comes from working in field clothes drenched in SWEAT!  I have entire groups of clothing set aside to prevent "rubbies" lol.  Usually by this point all the skin on my feet has melted off (I'm sure you wanted to know that) from too many days in sweat-filled rubber boots and I've spent one too many days under a blazing hot sun being eaten alive by mosquitoes or roasting under full spray gear in 35C feels like 40C weather.  I am having extremely vivid flashbacks and some PSTD-like shaking due to remembering the past couple of years and how ready I was for summer to be done.  Plus, summer means a return to a semi-normal office life.  This year I'll be inside as early as October 1st with just a small detour to the field otherwise in late Oct.. wow!  My earliest break in a few years. :)  I love coming inside, coming home, and really getting a chance to get back into fitness, cooking, house projects and most importantly time with Jeff, Bailey, friends and family.

But cold summer has really done a number on me.  It's September and I feel like I've totally hit my stride with fieldwork.  I was splashing around in Georgian Bay on Friday mapping Phragmites (invasive grass) populations with the biggest smile on my face.  I was facing a 3 hour drive home down the 400 on a Friday afternoon and was knee deep in freezing cold water, but it was almost like I didn't WANT to leave!  I was having too much FUN!  And cold July and cold August were really the greatest allies ever - sooooo lucky to have such coooold weather for such ridiculously grueling work!  I couldn't believe the luck I had - every day that was hot and sticky was either spent at home (with a/c), in the office (with a fan) or with fieldwork being cancelled due to thunderstorms.  I basically got off scot free, in the summer in which I did more fieldwork than I've ever done before!  In addition, I'm such a pro at packing for trips I can do it in under 20 minutes, and I'm such a pro at unpacking that when I'm home I am HOME and Jeff and Bailey may not have even noticed I was gone.

So really - things are going swimmingly in terms of the fieldwork and travel part of my life... so why all of a sudden is it September?  Now instead of all things senescing leaves and riding boots all I can see is winter (which in my mind looks like a big angry cloud with a gaping mouth with teeth, breathing cold snow all over me) peering around the corner and I'm thinking: "no!  don't!!!  I can't DO IT AGAIN!!!".  Time has never moved as quickly as it did between last winter and now, probably because this summer was so fab, and I just can't believe it's a month ending with R because at the end of this sequence is DECEMBER, followed by the 2 most depressing months in the world.  Don't do it summer!!!  Don't end!!!!!!!!!!!

But I've gotta get back to reality here, right?  I'll dream of baking apple crisp and pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving... drinking hot apple cider... pumpkin muffins from Starbucks (with that core of sweetened cream cheese?  OH MAN are they good!)... anniversary hikes (wedding = 3 years; together = 7 years!).. both our birthdays (so fun to spoil each other)... 2 great concerts coming up (Riotfest and Alt-j).  Not to mention coming inside, my last week of killing invasives (4 days to go this week then I get to stop killing things!) and the return to regular life where someone says "are you free for x?" and instead of saying "I have no free time until October" or "sorry, out of town again" I can say "yes! see you there!".  Phew.. ok.. breathing again... fall is lovely.

And the truth is, humidity in the 30s this week; 4 straight days of fieldwork after the world's laziest long weekend (I'm sick, in my defense!), 2 major work events, a conference, multiple meetings, working 1 Sunday and at least 5 more days of fieldwork this month means I'm probably going to be REALLY ready to say adios come October 1.... but before I go gettin' all angry at summer, I will revel in some of the things that I love so dearly about it and will miss ever so much over the next 8 months..

- birkenstocks/flip flops/slingbacks.  My feet feel so constricted, and sad, all summer long about constantly being shoved inside hot boots and never being able to slip comfortably into open-toed, free-wheelin', floppy footwear
- early morning Bailey walks in a t-shirt and shorts.  In the winter, early morning Bailey walks consist of no less than 10 articles of clothing (seriously - hat, scarf, shirt, sweater, jacket, mittens, long johns, snow pants, boots, etc. etc.) and I end up feeling like Ralphie from a Christmas story by the time it's time to leave the house
- sitting on my back deck - the trees, the birds, the sunshine.. it's all freaking good.  The backyard is just not somewhere you want to be in the winter - other than filling the bird feeders, we basically abandon it from November - April.. so sad!
- swimming.. water.  There is nothing more refreshing and awesome than swimming in nature and this year I got to do it at lots of different places including Sturgeon Lake in Fenelon Falls, the Ottawa River in Quebec, Lake Cecebe, Guelph Lake, and probably some I'm forgetting!  Nothing better than diving into that cool, sweet real live water :)
- being a normal temperature instead of a freezing popsicle of a woman every single day and night.. my toes are cold ALL WINTER LONG!!!

Ah, summer.  We'll see how I feel in another month, but for right now I wouldn't mind if you stuck around forever!!!

Sorry no pics with this one.  Big week of fieldwork coming up, gotta get to bed! :)